The Man on the Park Bench

A few years back there was gentleman who appeared to be asleep on the bench across from my office. My front office team were keeping a close eye from across the street. The team was checking regularly for about an hour and a half to ensure he was still breathing, still moving (visual checks at this point) and had set specific time that they would call an ambulance had he not moved along. During one of the visual check-ins, my team observed a couple pull off of the road, get out of their truck and approach the man on the bench. This couple, proceeded to POSE with the man – mocking his position on the bench, even grabbed a cap out of their truck to mimic the gentleman who was unconscious – and snapped photos! Grown-ass people….I’m absolutely disgusted and I can say that I wish beyond measure that I had witnessed this act because I would have no problem starting up a conversation with this couple….and if you read this and it was you, please feel free to message me or comment – I’d love to have a sit-down.

After this gem of the human race finished their degradation – the man on the bench ended up sliding to the ground and continued to appear, from across the street, unconscious – this is how I first saw the individual. One of my team members and I decided to get a closer assessment of the man. We approached him and immediately saw the blood pouring from a fairly significant head wound and I dialed 911. The man was breathing, but unresponsive.

Paramedics arrived, and transported him to the hospital. No stretcher, barely a physical assessment - they literally were pulling him up by his arms. He was clearly unable to bear weight or use his legs. He was NOT coherent or alert by any means. When I voiced my concerns about how they were treating him - the paramedic simply said to me "I know him, we've dealt with him before." I was stunned. Was he always incoherent and bleeding from his head? The scene left me speechless. The attitudes of these first responders was so unexpected; so disappointing. Today, I wish I would have done more.

I wish we could have counted the number of people that just walk by. The ignorant attitudes that prevail based on narrow world-views, lack of empathy, ethnocentric xenophobia, arrogance and ungratefulness cannot continue. This is not okay.

Humans are humans are humans are humans – some of us are born luckier than others.

Our choices are hindered by our perceptions and our inherent bias (looks and feels a lot like racism but is very different), by what we believe is possible – by what we’ve been exposed to. We can’t see what we don’t know – we can’t imagine what we haven’t been shown a path towards. Many of us grow up being told we can be anything we want to be – I’m guessing this guy didn’t grow up thinking –“I wanna be the guy passed out on the bench bleeding profusely from my face, ignored by humans based on my cultural background – faded into the landscape. And if I’m really lucky, I’ll get to be the butt of jokes and the unwitting prop in a hilarious pic that will circulate the internet for the entertainment of others!”

Yes, at some point it (with the obvious exception) becomes a choice, but as we move through the world – our choices naturally become limited based on our experience, our surrounding, our upbringing, our responsibilities, our social education, our family, etc. etc. etc. It’s SO complicated. And the experience of this man is far more complex than I could ever imagine – what lead him to this spot, and what will very likely lead him here again is so deep and so profound and sad and dark and seemingly hopeless that I have nothing but compassion and respect. Yes, respect for what put this man here. He his humanity. He is patient/human/person/ zero. Not zero as in value – zero as in where healing needs to begin – and maybe it needs to begin over and over and over. Like ground zero – the central starting point for change. If we, and I mean ‘we’ as in those of us in a position to create the damn change; shift the thinking, educate the ignorant (ourselves included) – recognize our own IGNORANCE for what it is; would harness our power so many good things could come, but one in particular – LOVE. I am privileged to not have had an experience that led me to his spot. I am not privileged with wealth, I am privileged with life. If I were rich in money – people would say I have a responsibility to give back – I’d even get a hefty tax break for giving of my dollars. I’d guess the people that walked by this man, or treated him poorly are the same people who make donations, save the receipts and get a tax benefit as a result and that’s great – we need that. But how do we measure humanity? How do we value and support loving humans by virtue of their hearts? I am privileged with my life, how do I share that – and I will share that with compassion. I don’t care how many times the same man lands on the same bench – I will advocate for him every single time. He may never ever realize he is worthy and deserving of loving himself, that he is a beautiful soul that really could be more than the man on the bench…I can’t change that – but I can simply perpetuate the change that I want to see in the world…and I want to see humans just caring for each other.

Throughout our lives we are given tools that we use – knowingly or otherwise – to build the life we build. We all struggle, we all face adversity and our tools are what get us through – for the MOST part we are given tools that will work within our world that will build SOMETHING tangible. Can you imagine being given a pile of lumber and a fish hook and being told to build a house? Or dumped into the ocean with a hammer and a bag of nails and being told to build a boat? Welcome to the core experience that western culture will never understand….

“Just a drunken Indian passed out on a bench.” ---and we wonder why hate prevails.

If it were a middle aged white woman or man passed out and bleeding, mid morning – then what?

White people need to stop protecting their privilege and start sharing its power.

Sent from my iPhone