The Man Box or the Man Maze?

The Man Box 2024 is a study by the Jesuit Social Services that focuses on attitudes on manhood and the behaviours of Australian men aged 18 to 45. Titled “Re-examining what it means to be a man in Australia”, the researchers surveyed approximately 3,500 men between 18 and 45, using an online survey.

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Published in May 2024, it describes the Man Box as a set of beliefs within and across society that place pressure on men to act in a certain way. It consists of 19 rules that “represent a socially dominant form of masculinity.” Some of these norms include: self-sufficiency, “acting tough”, physical attractiveness, rigid gender roles, homophobia and transphobia, hypersexuality (i.e., having multiple sexual partners or the inability to say No to sex) and the use of aggression and control in society, relationships and family.?

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It found that 36% of men aged 18-45 felt social pressure to follow the Man Box rules and 24% personally believed in them. And those who strongly agreed with them where:

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·??????? 31 times more likely to be believe domestic violence is a private matter;

·??????? 17 times more likely to have hit their partner;

·??????? 9 times more likely to blame a woman for making a man hit her;

·??????? 8 times more likely to have thoughts of suicide nearly every day;

·??????? 6 times more likely to have forced a partner into a sexually degrading or humiliating act;

·??????? 6 times more likely to exhibit signs of problem gambling; and

·??????? 2 times more likely to binge drink.

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The older cohort of men (31- to 45-year olds) reported experiencing slightly lower levels of social pressure to conform.

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The study appears to draw a link between adherence to the Man Box to attitudes towards violence and sexual discrimination against women. It also appears to draw a link to poorer mental health and problem gambling. ?

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The survey also found that the social pressure to conform to the Man Box rules decreased by 12% since 2018. The largest shifts occurred in attitudes such self-sufficiency, stoicism and acting tough which fell by 16 to 20%.

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The research didn’t seem to look into differences in attitudes across cultures, racial groups and religions. And it appears to draw no differences across industries, family upbringing, education, profession or socio-economic circumstances. These factors may not be relevant, but it is worth noting. It also didn’t seem to seek to understand why there was a reduction in the adherence to the Man Box over the last 6 years but suggested it was, in whole, a positive. It also claimed to be a “comprehensive study” but it being based on a survey of 3,500 men suggests otherwise.

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Man Box pillars

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An open discussion about what it is to be a man in a modern Australian society should always be welcomed. My starting position is to differentiate between the societal expectations that “box” men in, from the attributes that have traditionally defined the essence of masculinity across cultures and time. Masculinity is desirable in society. Poor attitudes and behaviour towards women and other men are not.

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The problems also seem to fall into two categories: behaviourial and cultural. That is, behaviours that are objectively undesirable such as violence, physical abuse, sexual abuse, intimidation and harassment. For example, the violent killing of a woman every four days in Australia. This behavioural problem should be treated as distinct from the cultural one that may contribute to beliefs that demean, belittle, ridicule or objectify women. Like the four boys suspended from a private school for ranking their fellow female students using categories such as wifeys, cuties, object, get out and unrapeable. The cultural issue could lead to the behavioural problem, but by not breaking it up into parts like this, for example, the solutions will likely remain blurry and ineffective, quite possibly exacerbating the undesirable behaviours and attitudes and causing greater social division.

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This could end up pushing many men into a Man Maze!

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Let’s take, as an example, some of the pillars that are claimed to box men in, to demonstrate this.

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Self-sufficiency

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Attributes of self-sufficiency should be desirable in both men and women. People should be able to stand on their two feet and look after themselves, their dependents and those who rely on them. For example, in the case of a family, parents need to be self-sufficient to look after their children and their elderly parents. In the case of a business, business owners need to be self-sufficient.

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Being self-sufficient does not mean that you automatically dismiss fears and problems like the survey suggests or that men should figure out their personal problems by themselves. In fact, it is well known that men of all ages benefit greatly from other male mentors and male friends. But with mobility and the pace of modern life, being mentored no longer happens in a traditional sense. Often it would be the father, uncle, brother or teacher. These days, it’s more likely to be a personal trainer, an employer, a work colleague or a friend.

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Rigid gender roles

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Whether gender roles are rigid or not should not depend solely on whether one wants to cook, sew or clean the house or take care of younger children as the study suggests. These examples are today laughable especially as you see many men in “baby bjorns”, working from home and being the primary or equal home maker. There would be no doubt that men would be increasingly sharing in these roles, however, the real issue is that society in general does not value these important roles which is why outsourcing them has increased to the point where it is almost essential in families where both parents work full-time. In the majority of relationships, men are still seen to be the primary income earner and in that case may, naturally, have limited time for other roles. The balancing act would come down to communication between partners about the sharing of roles.

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Acting tough

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The study suggests there is a perception that a guy who doesn’t fight back is weak and that guys feel the need to project a false sense of strength. Certainly acting tough is no substitute for having a strong, grounded values set and being resilient. Whilst for some reason stoicism invokes negative connotations, it not about “acting” tough. It is a belief in a practice that is grounded in resilience through character and building emotional strength. When you consider the current public conversation about men “standing up” to stop “gendered violence”, how can men do this without courage, resilience and a certain degree of self-worth and discipline? It’s not possible unless they view the virtue of protecting women as the right thing to do.

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It’s one obvious example where the messaging can be mixed.

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Like this example, it’s important that the discussion around masculinity and the Man Box does not devolve into a Man Maze. Many young and older men are simply confused and as a result are not engaging with it. For me, it’s easy to see why. ?

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It would be productive to bring some nuance into the discussion so that we can break down the problem to effectively solve it in the best interests of men, women, children and society.