Mama, I'm a workaholic!

Today's cup of coffee was a Mocha with whipped cream that literally went rock-solid because of how cold the weather is, but I love the cold and I don't mind it. So far.

Yes, I know, long time, no me. The last time I published was around two months ago or more, and the reason why is a bit relevant to what I wanna talk about in today's newsletter.

For the past couple of months, I have been getting out of my workaholic era and more into my "let's enjoy life more" era, and I'll tell you all about it today.

Sweet life as a workaholic

Let me start by saying, I used to be a hardcore workaholic, and everyone who knows me knows that all too well.

I used to work way beyond my working hours, and it became a Merna thing that Merna can work from anywhere, and I mean anywhere.

I worked in Uber cars, Uber Bus/Swvls, public transportation, and even sometimes, very casually, in the street.

I would wake up early, sleep late, and, sometimes even pull an all-nighter for work.

To me, it was simple: this is more time for me to finish my work and I need it.

But do I? The answer is no.

Now, did this make me more efficient? Hell yeah. For some time.

But it also turned to work becoming my entire life.

I treated work as something I can do anytime, anywhere, to the point that any time and any where became associated with work for me.

Being a workaholic deprived me of so many small pleasures in life that I am currently starting to appreciate and enjoy once again.

The simple commute. Looking out the window. Enjoying a cup of coffee without my laptop out. Reading a book. Doing literally nothing on my way home.

Sometimes even days out with friends. (Yes, I was that friend who is out with her friends but on her laptop and working, and sadly, I have photo proof.)

For the past few months, I have been a part-timer/freelancer, and I hated the quiet.

Then... I realized... it's an opportunity.

I'm getting the sleep I need. I'm seeing my friends. I'm enjoying life once again. Why does it feel so different?

News flash: being addicted to work is a coping mechanism

Since I started working as a teenager, I admit, work was a way I coped with life. I coped with loneliness, sadness, and traumas by working my ass off.

I do not regret it, but, from where I am now, I feel like enough is enough.

When was the point I realized I don't want to be a workaholic anymore?

For as long as I can remember, whenever something hurt or hit hard, I would frankly say: "It's okay. I still have my work. Work stays"

...until it didn't, and I got laid off from a job I loved and worked really hard for for downsizing or whatever excuse it was back then.

I felt furious and, well, empty. It became an epiphany to me: even work has an expiry date, and maybe I shouldn't give it so much.

And I don't anymore.

My new year's resolution of a true work-life balance

It is truly one of my new year's resolutions to pause and enjoy life more.

Everyone raves about work-life balance and then finishes off their statement by how they get off their laptop at 4 AM because "that's what entrepreneurship and success smell like??????". After really not having it at all, I will tell you how to get there from my experience.

There is a fine line between working hard and working too hard.

Working hard is doing your job on time, having great performance, and submitting great tasks.

Working too hard is staying beyond working hours, doing things outside of your scope, and never being able to say no to extra work.

So... let's talk about work boundaries in every aspect.

Time work boundaries

In terms of time, if you have fixed working hours, commit to them and only them. If you don't have set working hours, set a shift for yourself to prevent burn out.

As a person, working more than 8 hours a day and compromising sleep, family time, friends time, or even just time with yourself is really bad for your mental health and purpose.

It'll burn you out faster than a cheap scented candle that has no scent whatsoever.

You have to work for 5 days a week, 8 hours a day. This is plenty of time to get work done, and you really don't need to work (or be forced to work) beyond your hours or work weeks.

Weekends are there for a reason, and your reason is to rest and recharge.

Personally, it has become a red flag to me when someone shows off working on their weekends instead of having time to relax and wind down.

Self-care is important, bestie.

Mental work boundaries

Learn to say "no" for heaven's sake!

For the longest time, I could never say no to any task that came to me. That included tasks that came at 11 PM, on weekends, or at the very last minute of my shift.

And that absolutely drained me!

Unless you have the availability and capacity to take on more tasks, it is more than okay to say no to tasks out of time, place, or scope.

My favorite sentence nowadays is "Happy to discuss this when my working hours come" and "Happy to discuss after the weekend". They are very relieving words to say, for real!

Workplace boundaries

The idea of working from anywhere is fun, but you need to specify what that anywhere is.

To me, it was my bedroom, transportation, my home, coworking spaces, cafes, an Ahwa, you name it.

Right now, I restricted this to only cafes and coworking spaces. (Since I currently don't have a set office)

I stopped working from home, my bedroom, and transportation.

Why? Simply because your brain associates these places with work and they lose their true meaning.

Home is for rest and family. Your bedroom is for rest and me-time.

Transportation is for commuting. (You can read for extra funsies)

But working from any of those places makes you automatically think of them as workplace and everything that they aren't meant to be, and it puts you in a workaholic mindset.

Extra work boundaries (For funsies!)

Truly take your time off on your time off and step away from work. Don't answer phone calls, emails, Slacks, or anything.

Don't check work, don't check your email, and don't respond to any interactions.

Personally, I have logged off my work email and Slack from my phone so it doesn't haunt me, and, on weekends, the only use for my laptop is to watch shows and play The Sims 4. (Great game, if you ask me!)

On weekends, I forget that I am an employed person, and that's how it should be.

Is it hard to set these boundaries?

Oh boy. The first time I set work boundaries, I was literally shaking. I was scared of rejection, being scolded, or even being fired.

Then, I realized, that is my right.

What I owe my work is specified, and my rights are clear. I have working hours and times for a reason, and I need to stick by them.

The hustle culture in our generation makes it inexplicably hard to say no and honestly state that you are sticking to your work boundaries.

It makes it feel so hard and scary, and you're scared of coming off rude or lazy or unprofessional, but the truth is... people are aware of your rights, and while it has become very uncommon for people to have these work boundaries (again, hustle culture), they are your right, and people do respect them.

Many People and Culture professionals actually encourage them.

The result?

If you ask me, I am much happier, much less likely to feel stressed and burned out, and way more productive after I stopped being a workaholic.

(Which is ironic, since you'd think being a workaholic makes you more productive!)

I honestly feel like life has unraveled to me in different ways and aspects when I started seeing beyond my laptop and email.

You have to remember, we work to support our lives, we don't live to work.

Your brain, soul, and the entirety of your existence need rest and reset, and it's about time you give it to them.

So... yeah. Mama, I'm not a workaholic anymore. Or, at least, I'm trying not to be!