The Male Malaise

I can hold two ideas in my head.

I can be equally concerned about the advancement of women (which, as a father to a daughter, I am) while being simultaneously and deeply concerned about my fellow men. There is a siege upon men today that has nothing to do with limiting women but everything to do about diminishing men. It is not an individualistic thing that "happens" to certain men and boys, but a deeply systemic problem affecting men of all races, creed, and color.

Men are being describe and depicted as toxic. Of course, there are men that live up to this tragic billing. But not all; not most. But this is not a message about toxicity. It is about an "ideological stalemate" between politicians, educators, and special interest groups bent on casting males (predominantly white) as the "problem" today.

OKAY. HERE YOU GO.

In his book, Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do About It, Richard Reeves, a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution of Washington DC, points out the following:

• For every 100 women who receive a bachelor's degree, 74 are attained my men.
• Wages for most men are lower today then in 1979; 14% lower.
• Men have lost so much over the past decades, including a "useful role in public life, a decent and reliable living, appreciation in the home, respectful treatment in the culture." (NOTE: this is what a prominent feminist claims, not a male.)
• Men are struggling in the work market due to a shift away from traditionally male roles. (This isn't a bad thing in and of itself but the numbers of displaced men in traditional roles is growing.)

Reeves book is full of real-world examples of where men are falling severely behind. He notes examples of successes for women and their achievements, with still much more needed, in careers, academics, and social standing. Some of these thwart men's ability to be worthy contributors to family and society.

THE THREE SIGNS OF A MISERABLE "JOB" (aka, Life) So, where am I?

In 2007, management and leadership guru, Patrick Lencioni wrote a seminal piece with the title above. I am repurposing his three fundamental factors that point to a miserable job experience and directing these towards men:

1. Anonymity:?MEN cannot be fulfilled in their (life) if they are not known.

2. Irrelevance:?MEN need to know that their (contributions) matters to someone. Without seeing a connection between your (purpose) and the satisfaction of another person or group of people, you will not find lasting fulfillment.

3. Immeasurement: MEN need to be able to gauge their progress and level of contribution for themselves, not simply based on the whims and opinions of other influential people in their lives (and society, in general).

THE OTHER "BIG 3"

It's important to note that experiences of males are diverse and complex, and it's difficult to make sweeping generalizations. However, there are some societal and cultural trends that have impacted males in recent years.

One issue is the changing nature of work which has left many men feeling left behind. With the decline of manufacturing jobs and the rise of the "gig economy" many men have struggled to find stable, well-paying jobs. This has led to increased economic insecurity and a sense of purposelessness for some men.

Second, the issue of changing expectations around masculinity and gender roles. As society has become more accepting of diverse gender identities and expressions, some men have struggled to adapt to these changes.

Third, mental health is a concern for many males. Men are less likely to seek help for mental health issues than women, and this can lead to a sense of isolation and loneliness. This has led to higher rates of suicide and substance abuse for men than women.

WORK

The role of males in the workplace has changed significantly with a decline in traditional male-dominated industries and an increase in service-oriented and knowledge-based work. Here are some statistics that illustrate this trend:

• In 2020, women made up 49.6% of the total U.S. labor force, while men made up 50.4%.
• The manufacturing industry, which has traditionally been male dominated, has declined. In 1980, manufacturing accounted for 25% of all U.S. jobs, but by 2019, it accounted for only 8.5% of jobs.
• The healthcare and education sectors have seen significant growth in recent years, and these industries are more likely to employ women than men. In 2020, women made up 76% of healthcare practitioners and technicians, and 74% of workers in education and training.
• The gig economy, which includes freelance and contract work, has grown in popularity in recent years. While men are more likely to work in gig jobs than women, the gap has been narrowing in recent years.

SOCIETY

There are a number of social issues that impact men today.

1. Mental health: Men are less likely than women to seek help for mental health issues, which can lead to increased rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide. There is still a stigma surrounding mental health issues in many communities, and this can make it difficult for men to ask for help.
2. Masculinity and gender roles: There is also growing awareness of the negative effects of toxic masculinity, which can lead to aggression, violence, and emotional repression.
3. Education: Boys are falling behind girls in many areas of education, including reading and writing skills. There are a number of factors that contribute to this trend, including the ways in which boys and girls are socialized and differences in brain development.
4. Fatherhood and family roles: As the roles of fathers and caregivers have evolved, some men have struggled to balance their work and family responsibilities. Additionally, men who take on caregiving roles may face stigma and discrimination in the workplace.

CULTURE

There are cultural issues facing males today that have a significant impact on their lives and wellbeing.

1. Stereotyping and objectification: Men are often stereotyped in the media as being aggressive, dominant, and emotionless. They are also objectified in advertising and entertainment, which can lead to body image issues and self-esteem problems.
2. Sexual harassment and assault: While women are more likely to experience sexual harassment and assault, men can also be victims. However, men may feel reluctant to report such incidents due to the stigma surrounding male victims of sexual violence.
3. LGBTQ+ rights: As society becomes more accepting of diverse sexual orientations and gender identities, some men may struggle to come to terms with their own sexuality or gender identity. There is still discrimination against LGBTQ+ individuals in many communities, and this can lead to feelings of isolation and depression.

SUMMARY

There is a long way to go toward equitable treatment between men and women. There is no argument. But the issues around "male malaise" are economic, societal, and cultural. They are not solely about being a "man." We can reduce tensions through openness/receptive to change, but also by understanding our part and making ourselves available in both strength and love. They are not mutually exclusive and the trials and tribulations between the male and female sexes require deeper discussion than labels like "toxic masculinity" can provide.