Making Your Dash Count: A Story of Life, Loss, and Legacy

What are you doing with your dash?

I recently read a blog article which raised the topic of ‘the dash’. What is the dash you may ask, it is the period of time between when a person is born and when they die. The dash holds the entire story of your life. It represents every moment between your first breath and your last. Reading the article put me into reflective mode. It got me thinking about ‘what am I doing with my dash?’

The Concept of "The Dash"

The concept of "the dash" might seem a little morbid. Who really wants to think about these things? Yet this reflection isn’t about death. It is really about being conscious of how we spend our time.

A Personal Wake-Up Call (November 2022)

November 19, 2022, something significant happened in my life. I lost my little sister, Jodie-Ann. She had just turned 31 years old on August 11, fell ill suddenly in early September and by November 19 unfortunately she passed away. Young, full of life, with so much to give. And yet, her dash expired.

Her death taught me a lesson about time. We think we will have time, but we really don’t know. Jodie was studying in the Doctor of Medicine (DM) programme. Her nose was always in the books. So much so that when it was my daughter’s birthday in August, she came to the event but didn’t spend time with the family in the usual way as she was focused on studying for an exam slated for late September or early October. Even when she was initially hospitalized, her thoughts were still on the exam. She was trying to attend class and study rather than resting and healing. Imagine that she didn’t get the chance to do that exam.

Living with Intention

One of the last things Jodie mentioned before she passed was about doing things a little differently. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not saying throw away the studying. I would be the last person to say that. Rather, I am encouraging us to reconsider how we manage our time. We roll our eyes at the concept of work-life balance, dismissing it as impossible, but perhaps we are thinking about it wrong. The concept of work-life balance is important. I contend that it is not about achieving a perfect 50/50 split but rather an idea that we should pay attention to what is important. We should be present and intentional with our time. These are lessons we actually learn early in life.

I remember being taught the proverb ‘all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy’. It simply means constant work without rest or relaxation diminishes our well-being and the quality of our lives.

Creating Your Legacy

If someone told me that 2022 was the last time, I would have the time to spend with my sister, I would have thought they were crazy. If I knew it was the last months I would have with her, I would do things completely differently. She would have possibly done things differently as well. The lesson here is to make our time count. As you reflect on your dash, consider:

• What will your legacy be?
• How will people remember you?
• Did you make time for your loved ones?
• Were you kind?
• Did you show love to others?
• Did you live according to your values?

Jodie-Ann, despite her short time here, used her dash well irrespective of challenges she faced. She touched many lives and made a positive impact on others. She was a doctor who cared about her work, her patients, her team members and it made a difference. She knew love and gave love freely. In fact, her last words in the hospital were ‘thank you’ as she expressed her gratitude to a member of the nursing team. ?This is a testament to the gracious spirit she maintained until the end.

At Jodie’s funeral we had a memory box where people could share their experience with her. Reading and listening to the stories shared truly demonstrated her impact. In cleaning her room I came across a book where she wrote down what she was grateful for as well as prayers. Her prayers tended to focus on others rather than herself. Jodie created a lasting legacy of love, compassion and connection.

From Reflection to Action

Life isn’t perfect, and neither are we. We have to figure things out as we go along. The million dollar question is: Are we ensuring that in the midst of the hustle and bustle of life that we are connecting with purpose and meaning each day? We sometimes take time for granted. We think there will be more time to do this, that and the other. The truth is, we do not know if there will really be more time.

In Matthew25:1-13, we are told of the parable of the ten virgins. These 10 virgins took their lamps and went out to meet their bridegroom. Five of the virgins took oil in their vessels with their lamps while the other five took none. When the time came to meet the bridegroom, the five who had oil were ready to proceed while the other five were not. The five who did not have oil probably assumed that they would have more time. One of the lessons this parable teaches us is about the importance of being prepared and not taking time for granted.

Now as I write this article, for you, I also write it for me. It is a reminder to be more intentional about the dash. I know personally that I have work to do.

Taking Action Today

Now, you all know that I am always reading something. I came across three suggestions on how to start making our dash count. The suggestions include:

• Schedule regular "connection time" with loved ones – and treat it as sacred as any work commitment
• Create a "legacy list" of what you want to be remembered for
• Take one small action each day that aligns with your values

Food for thought:

Imagine yourself at 80 years old – what are the things you might regret the most about your life choices? Whatever those things are, if you are reading this article, then you are still here. There is an opportunity to address it. Your dash is still being written.

What will you do with your dash today?

Yolande Hylton is the Managing Director of Hylton Insights, an HR Consultancy Firm with a mandate to guide businesses from the transactional to the transformational HR realm, thereby enhancing individual and organizational performance. For inquiries or to learn more, you can reach out to [email protected] or visit www.hyltoninsights.com