Making the tiniest move

It was the first year of my bachelor's when I took part in a group discussion competition. I remember there were five other members. They all seemed well-read, well-versed and well-practiced. I had never faced such a challenge where you actually struggle to put up your views. I was a regular speaker at my school and I was in a habit of taking up stages and opportunities. But this time though there was no such audience and not even a stage but the vibe of the room was quite drenching. It was the same time when I was dealing with low self-esteem and was trying to throw up myself to challenges to at least crack down my cocoon. But while sitting in that room, among those people, I felt I had committed the biggest mistake of my life. I could not speak even a single word. A girl who was sure about the audacity she carried on stage could not put even a few points.

I was tearing in my way back to the hostel. I cried on the phone with my mom and lost all that I had in the name of self-belief. After a few weeks when I returned to my hometown, my mum told me she had enrolled me in an English-speaking course. It was bewildering for me. I resisted. It was embarrassing for me to join an English-speaking course when I was already a several times winner of zonal level debate and speech competitions. It was my power and passion. And now I saw it becoming my weakness.

I went there for the first day half-heartedly and continued for a few weeks. The course started with basic tenses and covered all basic to advanced grammar. The institute used to conduct monthly events with the provision of prizes for winners. After a few weeks, I was in this event as a participant. I met people junior and senior to me with amazing speaking skills. I played, contested, enjoyed and won the first prize in the first event of the session.

The prize and the appreciation that came with it changed my life. It was no big event with outnumbered participants. But this tiny step got my self-belief back.

This was my first step to getting myself out of my low self-esteem state.

Courage is not always climbing mountains and winning peaks. It is rather sometimes taking the tiniest possible step to get the door of fear to be broken down for you.