Making Space for the Complexity of this Moment

The trial of Derek Chauvin is over. Many people are expressing relief over the verdict - guilty on all counts for the murder of George Floyd. I’m not sure what I was expecting to feel, but I am relieved, too - a police officer was held accountable for the murder of a Black person. Given our history, a guilty verdict wasn’t a given. It’s why so many of us were holding our breaths in spite of the clear evidence of guilt. 

I have a bunch of unresolved, mixed emotions following this verdict. What does it say about our country and justice system that we needed to witness this heinous murder in the way most of us did and have a global months-long uprising in order to have one police officer held accountable? What if this murder had not been caught on film? What if this had been a shooting rather than a slow, torturous death? What about all of the other cases of police brutality and violence that go unchecked? 

In the past week or so, we learned about Caron Nazario, the military officer who - for no reason - was pepper-sprayed by a police officer at a traffic stop; Daunte Wright, who was killed by a police officer having been stopped for expired tags; and Adam Toledo, a 13-year-old boy, killed by a police officer at the end of a foot chase on March 29th. Just overnight, we learned that a police officer shot and killed a 16-year-old girl in Ohio.

On one hand, these events (and others) make me want to curl up in bed and check out - this is just too much to bear witness to over and over again. 

On the other hand, I believe that we can't address or fix what we're unwilling to face and name. It's important that we keep our eyes open and are critically aware of the way the world operates around us. I find myself balancing that need for information, the inclination to dig into details and get clear on facts, with the feelings that come with being overwhelmed. My community deserves to live our lives free of racial or any unnecessary trauma. 

Chauvin’s conviction is just one show of accountability. If we want real justice, it’s long past time for us to simply be in the “education and awareness-building” phase of addressing the violence and inequities faced by communities of color. It's time to push past simply learning, simply talking, simply self-reflecting. Those are all good and necessary steps in the fight towards correcting historic oppression and present-day inequity. And, it's time for real action.  

It’s time for everyone who perpetuates harm, particularly those who do so without regard to the humanity of Black people, to be held accountable.

It’s time for more than a show of empathy. I want us all to consider what each of us can do with whatever power, influence, and privilege we hold to break down practices that serve to uphold this perpetual state of injustice and despair. 

In my work, I do what I can to hold space for my team and for others who need validation, guidance, and advocacy. And, I’ve learned it’s also ok to protect and care for myself however I need to, whether it’s spending time with loved ones or finding moments to do the things that bring me joy. Some days it means taking longer breaks; other days, it means giving myself permission to disengage.

I'm privileged to have the power to set the culture for my workplace; I encourage all leaders to consider how they make space for what many of their team members may be processing in these moments. Even with this guilty verdict, know that many of us are still anxious, distracted, and may have less “productive” capacity. One of the ways you can show up for your teams is to proactively consider what spaces exist to help them process their emotions - whether it be ad hoc one-on-ones or team meetings, ERG sessions, facilitated dialogues, or mental health resources. Pause and acknowledge what may come up for folks, and reiterate how you plan to provide support for your teams both short and long term. 

There have been too many weeks like the ones we’ve recently had where I’ve just wanted to shut down. And yet it's important for me to enable change in my little corner of the world. I'm not na?ve enough to think we're solving every issue of inequity with the work we do; but where we’re able to amplify the voices and needs of the most marginalized and influence organizations to dismantle practices and systems that perpetuate harm, it gives me fuel to continue the fight. 

For anyone who wants to know how to show up for me in this moment, the support I need is the commitment to fight for change.