Making the Shift; Choosing Less Stress

First a quote; “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” – William James

Good morning and happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Have you been experiencing more stress lately? How about those around you?

I’m guessing the answer to both questions is a resounding yes. At least that seems to be true for many of the important people in my life, both personally and professionally.

People everywhere seem to be filled with escalating levels of fear, anxiety, concern, and emotional distress. Add on the financial burdens and fears which seem to be growing in wider circles across all varieties of industries and businesses, let alone our personal retirement accounts and financial conditions.

It is understandable why we might not be at our very best during these times – why our attitudes might falter and why we might not be the influential leaders we aspire to be.

Unfortunately, many people report their stress levels are continuing to rise rather than decline.

Patience, tolerance, and understanding seem to be running low at a time when we need those qualities the most.

Isn’t this typical of life in general? Sometimes when life demands our very best, it is so easy to be at our worst.

Making the shift

Today, I offer a powerful stress-management approach I call “Making the Shift.”

• If you’re a parent, do you remember teaching your teenager(s) to drive?
• Do you remember what it felt like to sit in the passenger seat as they took control of the wheel (and the gas pedal) for the first time?
• Can you remember your stress level as they approached a busy intersection, a little too fast?
• How about the instinctive urge to press a nonexistent brake pedal from the passenger side?
• I remember those first drives being stressful not only for myself, but also the new driver.

• Or, how about sitting in the passenger seat when your spouse is behind the wheel; perhaps distracted by something outside their side window, not seeing the traffic breaking ahead??
• Or, maybe you’re behind the wheel. As an experienced driver you may feel confident and in control under normal driving conditions; but now, in heavy traffic on snow-covered mountain roads, you grip the wheel tightly as your stress level escalates higher and higher.

Here is the point:

Our stress levels tend to rise and fall in direct response to our sense of control. Stress tends to increase when life feels out of control.

Conversely, stress levels decrease when we feel in control of our circumstances.

Recent national events have disrupted our sense of control in nearly every aspect of life. It’s no wonder many of us are feeling heightened levels of stress.

Many things we once took for granted now feel uncertain for many:

• How safe is my job? ?
• What is happening to my retirement account?
• How will I pay rent or buy groceries this month?
• When will this uncertainty end? How will it end?

These are unsettling questions, and they highlight concerns beyond our immediate control.

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” – Leo F. Buscaglia

The Mental Shift for Reducing Stress

The key to reducing stress is to focus on what we can control. While we may not control much of the outside world, we do control our internal thoughts and actions.

Each of us has nearly total control of our thoughts, actions, and decisions, including how we spend our time, and the attitudes we put on display for others to see. Consider these examples:

• I don’t control what is reported in the news, but I do control whether I watch it, when I watch it, and which news sources I watch.
• I don’t control what others post on social media, but I do control what I post and whether I engage with social media at all.
• I don’t control others’ behavior or the level of respect they show, but I do control my own actions and behaviors. I can be the change I wish to see in the world.
• I control my breathing, my diet, my physical activity, and how I spend my free time.
• I can choose to meditate, read, study, learn a new skill, and exhibit a positive attitude. The list is nearly endless.

We have more control than we realize. That’s where our power lies in managing stress.

Are you feeling significant stress in your life today?

Now might be a great time to learn more about mindfulness. There has never been a better moment to develop greater emotional intelligence.

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

The Serenity Prayer, by Karl Paul Reinhold Niebuhr

I have always found comfort in the Serenity Prayer. It feels especially relevant as we navigate these challenging times:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I also appreciate this modified version:

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know... that person is me.

Let’s commit to being our “best selves” this week. The people we interact with need us to be at our best today, tomorrow, and in the days ahead.

Everyone can make a difference, and everyone should try.

As always, how will you live, love, or lead, differently, or better, this week?

Have a great week. Stay safe. Be well. Keep pedaling!

Related Article:

• Click here to read: Being Our Best Self - Now is the Time!

Bonus Quotes Below

Bryan Yager “Expanding Your Capacity for Success”

* Revised and updated. Originally published on April 27, 2020, during COVID pandemic.

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Bonus Quotes:?

• “Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith.” – Henry Ward Beecher
• “In times of great stress or adversity, it's always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive.” – Lee Iacocca
• “Doing something that is productive is a great way to alleviate emotional stress. Get your mind doing something that is productive.” – Ziggy Marley
• “You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside.” – Wayne Dyer
• “Remember that stress doesn’t come from what’s going on in your life. It comes from your thoughts about what’s going on in your life.” – Andrew Bernstein
• “In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.” – Fred Rogers
• “If I really want to improve my situation, I can work on the one thing over which I have control - myself.” – Stephen Covey