Making the right call

Thanksgiving is about many things. At a high level, it's about reflecting on all the things we are thankful for. The holiday provides us time with family and friends. For many of us, it leads to enjoying great food, the opportunity to reminisce about the past and last but not least, the holiday provides an opportunity for many of us to enjoy a beloved American pastime... Football. No matter where you live in the US, Football is an important part of our fabric. Whether it's a Pro or College, or our local high school team, the sport teaches us about life, sportsmanship and team building. It also teaches us about winning, losing and triumph through adversity... or at least it should.

I was compelled to share a story about a high school football team back in the Chicago area that found itself on the wrong side of a bad call. This story prompted me to think about how unfair life can be at times, and how I've managed to learn from those bad calls in my life.

Enter the Fenwick Friars of Suburban Chicago who found themselves losing in the quarterfinals of the state high school playoffs. Their crushing loss, a the result of a bad call associated with a misinterpretation of the rules by the officials. Ordinarily, this story would not be noteworthy except for the fact that school and those associated with the program didn't accept the loss as a final outcome to their season. They proceeded to petition the state high school association to overturn the result of the game. When that effort failed, they filed suit in a court of law seeking to overturn the result of the game. Some may think this is crazy, while others may feel it's admirable to stand up for what you believe in. I'm not here to debate whether it's crazy or admirable but am more so interested in seeking the lessons to be learned from this event.

The longer you live, the more likely you are to come to grips with the fact that life can be unfair. At times, not only is life unfair, it's swift in how it doles out the unfairness. I trust many of us have been on the wrong side of a bad call in our lives. Whether it's waking up to the news that a family member is terminally ill with cancer, or having your brand new car rear ended as you are stopped at a red light due to someone texting and driving, life is certain to subject us to a bad call. When this happens, it's not likely that we will get the call over turned. We have to find ways cope with adversity. Ways learn from the bad call.

As an example, I recently returned home to visit with my sister in law who is terminally ill. It occurred to me as I was saying good bye, that the next time I see her will most likely be at her funeral. Admittedly, I was first over come with sadness, and I admit, a bit of anger but the longer I thought about it, the more I was thankful for the time I had with her and what she taught me about being a caring and genuine person. In another one of life's teaching moments, I reflected on the new car that my wife and I lost almost a year ago now when someone blew through a red light hitting us at nearly 60 MPH. My first reaction was to be angry with the driver who struck us. After all, I worked hard to buy the car for my wife and in the blink of an eye the car was destroyed. It's hard to look for the positive when you are immediately faced with something terrible, but the positive hit me hard when I opened the back door to our severly damaged car to see an empty baby seat. You see, this was the first time my wife and I left our son with a sitter so we could enjoy a movie. Needless to say, we never made it to the movie and we'll never quite know how our lives would have been changed had my son been in the car. Fortunately, we won't have to but the lesson I learned was that in the end, it was just a car that could be replaced and we were all okay.

For me, the moral of this story is that the next time life deals me a bad call, rather than first seek justice or a way to over turn the decision, I'm going to work hard to learn from the lesson that is being offered which is to find the positive first. In doing so, the chances are it will help me to cope with the bad call in a more productive way.

Back to the Fenwick Friars for a moment. I think there are some teachable moments for all involved. For those associated with the Fenwick football program may you be able to accept this defeat gracefully and be thankful for the time you shared together and what the game taught you about life. I still reflect back on what umpiring baseball has taught me about life. For those who won as a result of a bad call, accept it as one of life's unexpected gifts. Reflect on the gift and leverage it for your next game. If you should win your final game, then I'd submit it was your destiny. If by chance you are to lose your final game, then I'd submit that is also your destiny. Win or lose, you have one more opportunity to play the game you love together. Cherish it for everything it has to offer you because for most, it will likely be your tune up for the real game. The game of life. Last but not least, if you are one of the officials who was associated with the bad call in the game, my advice is not to dwell on this. Don't take it personally if people call you names, blame you for ending their season, etc. After all, bad calls tend to trigger emotions and these emotions can lead to bad behavior. Above all don't stop officiating! Chances are you are all good officials who simply made a mistake. For what it's worth, I've walked a mile in these shoes and I found the best thing to do was to get back on the field.

For those of you who are interested the events that unfolded with the Fenwick Friars, please follow the link below:

https://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/highschool/ct-fenwick-football-ihsa-lawsuit-ruling-20161123-story.html

Happy Thanksgiving to all and may god bless you and yours!