Making Powerful Connections

Over the past several years, I have been asked to speak on "how" I make strong connections with people and more so, how I connect others. It is not something that has come overnight, but an area of my personal life I take seriously as I believe that only thing that separates you and me is who we know and how we assist one another.

Networking by design is a set up for failure. By definition Networking is: the exchange of information or services among individuals, groups, or institutions; specifically. Note the word exchange. Many believe success in networking is defined by the volume of exchanges (how many cards can I collect) when in reality there is little to no value in the quantity. None. 

If you take this one level deeper and look at referrals, it yields a little better result but still not where we are ultimately looking. A referral by definition is: an act of referring someone or something for consultation, review, or further action. Many professionals may state, “I have built my entire business on referrals!” I would argue that actually isn’t the case and most likely they have mis-labeled the introduction. A referral by nature is not much different than networking and is simply a more directed exchange of names. The biggest difference in a referral and networking however, is a referral has a thread of possibility to become a powerful connection. 

Success in expanding a valuable list of contacts is solely based on the power of the connection you make, not the number of connections you make. Making a powerful connection may not look as sexy as a high number of network exchanges, however it bears a fruit much richer that allows for a deeper and more meaningful long-term relationship.

How do you go about making and creating Powerful Connections?

1) Ask yourself everyday, who would be a valuable connection?   

Avoid thinking "Who is my ideal client?" and "Who do I need to meet to pitch my product?" Or, "Who should I introduce Tony to that may help him grow his business."

Place your focus on the right questions.

• Why is connecting with a certain person or professional important to all parties?
• How does meeting this person potentially impact everyone financially, socially, and spiritually?
• If this connection is made, what is the likelihood it can be maintained over the long term?

2) Ask yourself everyday, what is my value as a connection?

It is important to know and understand your role. Don't ever take it for granted or assume it is understood.

3) When making connections between two parties, act as a mediator on the first connection or request a mediator if being introduced. 

Nothing is more awkward than a first date, except a meeting between two strangers that have no idea why they are meeting. If introducing two people that you think have value to one another, be present. Open the meeting and explain why they have value in meeting.

4) Don’t just make introductions but give the gift of background information on each person.   

This is pre-work. If I ever get a message that I need to meet someone, the first thing I ask is why? Don't make people ask why. Tell them up front. "I want to introduce you to Mike, Tony. Mike has a background in ABC while your background is DEF. I think it would be valuable for the two of you to connect over coffee. In fact, I will be there as well and will buy. Looking forward to hearing all the amazing discussions that will happen regarding XYZ."

5) Put it on a calendar. ALWAYS.

Never ever wait for everyone to email back and forth for a date. It won't happen. Drive the date, suggest the time, and get it on the calendar. This provides value to your connections.

6) Follow up on connections and expand the relationship.

Just because you had coffee means nothing. Connections are relationships and they take time.

7) Minimize connections that lack value.

This is tough. We all want to be liked by everyone. Let it go. If a connection isn't of value and you cannot provide value, move on. Best for both parties.

8) Block out your calendar just for Powerful Connections.

Allocate time each and every day to review who and how. I, for example, do this each morning at 7:00am. I take about 15 minutes to look at who I would like to meet, who I could connect that would have value to each other, and send messages to connections I already have in place.

Finally, making powerful connections takes time and practice. A championship team doesn't show up for a big game without hours and hours of practice. This is no different in grooming great relationships. You may fail at this. Don't worry about it. In the end, you will find much better contacts and people who can benefit one another.

Shoot me questions. I enjoy your thoughts.