The Making of a Moral Compass

A recent post by Laura Irwin got the writing genie excited. It was about character and that character still matters.

What is Character?

Looked this up on google and the definition is “the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual”

The writing genie latched on to the moral qualities distinctive to an individual. It would seem that all of us are in possession of moral qualities. How we arrive at the moral qualities that we espouse is a journey in itself.

We are born without any clue about morals or a moral compass. Over the years some develop a pronounced moral compass, while others may come to the end of life with no such thing.

Upbringing

What is role modeled and instilled in us as we grow up will be the foundation of our moral compass. In my case, the Gandhian principles of simplicity, service and truth took center stage. My parents were not fussed about adhering to religious customs or going to the temple. In fact, Dad was at a loss to understand why folk were all vegetarian in the Jaffna peninsula for the Nallur ( Murugan ) temple festival. We could feel the disapproving eyes of the public as we pulled up in the car to buy fish during this time. It also taught me to be a non conformist and walk my own path as long as I was not impinging on anyone else.

Sayings that were in over use at our house were “Beggars can't be choosers” and “ Rolling stones gather no moss” Hence, I was never into demanding anything from and refrained from wanting to go loafing with my parents. Luckily for me, I was a minimalist at an early age and my Uncle, who was a top cop, took me along with his kids, when he traveled around his area of command. I continued to have a very strong travel bug, regardless of the consequences of gathering no moss. My moral compass now has conniptions if I contemplate indulging myself or ignore people who ask for help. Such is the effect of my parents on my moral compass.

My grandmother, was a wise owl. I would be questioned how I contributed to childhood squabbles . She never took my side, but wanted to know what I would do differently next time the same situation came up. It happened often enough, that when a squabble broke out with my cousin, I would think of the answers I needed to provide my grandmother. This became tedious, so I refrained from squabbling. Even now, if I meet interesting people who have an aggressive stance, my first reaction is , am I causing this.

Seems like my moral compass, was well and truly taking shape by the time I headed into my teens.

Seeing and experiencing events

My grandmother, provided many opportunities for the moral compass to take hold. A relative who was into drinking, beat his family. The wife and children would high tail it to my grandmother's and hide behind her small frame. The relative chased them but would come to a screeching halt when confronted by Grandma. He would turn quickly and scarper before she opened her mouth.

On other occasions, she would pull up folk who were failing in the filial duties. Usually as a result of wives not liking their parents in law. She was quite a fair minded lady, and didn't hesitate to pull up either gender.

I am not as vigorous in pulling up of folk, but have a strong sense of standing for justice. Interesting when I do my granny’s trick of asking about how folk contribute to a sorry situation. Some get defensive, some thoughtful and some just vamoose. ( Unlike granny, I am not in hot pursuit)

Adversity

The civil war in Sri Lanka occupied 30 years of my life. To write about it will take a book. For me, it taught resilience, hunger, tolerance, compassion and courage. These I know are not moral but mental qualities that have stood me in great stead and built my character to a great extent. I am grateful for this, though very sad, that so many had to suffer for so long.

This life event together with losing all my immediate family in the course of 10 years, has left me with a deep interest in stoic philosophy. I read it often. What then gets transformed into my moral compass is yet to be seen. I wish at times, I had less character building exercises in life.

We are a working in progress. I think our moral compass once formed stays with us. But how we use it and implement it in life will change I feel. In my case, is has got gentler and less judgmental when it comes to others. The standards for myself have not changed as the black and white brain is rather set in its ways.

Our moral compass can be influenced by our environment and what we consider as necessary for survival. Some will change their moral compass to adapt, while others will take pride in standing by their moral compass, whatever the consequences.

Know thyself in regards to our moral compass is an interesting journey.

What are the key elements of your moral compass?

What is your price to give this up?

Are some morals core to your soul, while others optional?

What other factors help mould our moral compass?

Has your moral compass evolved over time?

What do you think of the quote on Character?

" People of Character will do the right thing if no one else does, Not because they think it will change the world but they refuse to be changed by the world"

Copyright 2018 - Subi Nanthivarman.