The making of a mentor

“Show me a successful individual and I’ll show you someone who had real positive influences in his or her life. I don’t care what you do for a living—if you do it well I’m sure there was someone cheering you on or showing the way. A mentor.”?— Denzel Washington

Mentoring has had a significant impact on the successes I have had so far in my squiggly career. The opportunities I've explored and many of the obstacles I've been able to overcome have only been possible with the guidance and support of a mentor behind the scenes.

A brilliant example of one of those people is Bruce Daisley, writer (The Joy of Work), podcaster (Eat, Sleep, Work, Repeat) and business leader (formerly running Twitter's business in Europe, Middle East and Africa).

I got in touch with Bruce in 2018 when I was working at Microsoft and running Amazing If as a side-project with Sarah Ellis. We chatted about our shared experiences of running a podcast and working in tech. We were both thinking about our future and it was a fun conversation. After that, we stayed in touch and as Sarah and I started to write our book, The Squiggly Career, Bruce became our go-to source of challenge, advice and support. He helped us navigate the publishing industry, he shared his experiences, he challenged our assumptions, he backed us, our book and built our belief. A big part of the success of The Squiggly Career, which has now sold over 40,000 copies, is the mentoring that Bruce gave us to get there. Since then, his mentoring has helped us to make our TED talk better, our business more profitable and some of the challenges we faced with our second book, You Coach You, a bit more solveable.

Bruce is clearly a special person to have connected with, but actually I think we can all 'be more Bruce' in how we approach supporting people with their career development.

Be more Bruce - by being curious

Bruce is interested in what we are doing and how we're doing it. He asks lots of questions that help us to think. His curiosity isn't contained to a 'mentoring meeting'. He checks in regularly over What's App on how things are going and how we're feeling.

It's worth reflecting on how consciously curious you are in your mentoring moments to get a feel for how much of a strength or area of growth this is for you today.

Be more Bruce - by caring

Don't be scared to care! Bruce knows what matters to both Sarah and I and what we are motivated by. He cares about our success. He wants us to do well. Caring doesn't have to mean you show affection in the same way you would with someone in your personal life, but it does means you have an insight into the why behind someone's work and that you want that person to be at their best.

Asking a mentee 'whats important to you about the work you do?' is a good question to bring into your conversation.

Be more Bruce - by challenging

Bruce says it how it is. He's clear and direct. When he thinks we could do something better, he tells us (he also lets us know when he thinks we're doing something well!). Creating clarity in a conversation, challenging someone to address their assumptions and helping someone to think differently is a huge value a mentor can bring. Yes, mentoring is about sharing your experiences but it's also about offering your advice and radical candour can make a radical difference to someone's development.

Thinking about where you sit on the balance of caring personally and challenging directly is a useful point of reflection (see Kim Scott's work for more on the skill of Radical Candor).

Be more Bruce - by connecting

Bruce is generous with his connections. He spots opportunities for us to know people that will help us grow and is proactive in making an introduction. Last week, Sarah and I had dinner with Bruce (he took us out to celebrate the publication of You Coach You). During dinner we talked about international speaking opportunities and the next day, he had emailed a number of different people to connect us and help us to explore. Wow. As a mentor, spotting who else could help your mentee not only stops them becoming dependant on you for their development, it also increases their pool of possibility.

Asking your mentee "what support do you need most right now?" can help you to think about whether someone you know is someone they need.

Having a mentor like Bruce, makes me want to be a better mentor for other people. You might not have a Bruce in your career yet, but if we can all be a bit more Bruce, we can all be part of making a career better for someone.

This article was written as part of the LinkedIn #Changemakers campaign – a campaign shining a spotlight on individuals using LinkedIn to drive genuine change in the world of work. To find out more about the partnership, read more?here. And if you want to join the conversation, share the one thing you’d like to change about the world of work in a post on LinkedIn with the hashtag?#ConversationsForChange.?