Making a mark while fitting in: the paradox of being yourself at work

Over the course of my career I’ve received some invaluable advice. The problem with advice though, is that sometimes it can be contradictory.

Let me illustrate my point by paraphrasing some of the advice I’ve received - Compare: “See the thing is, everyone here is good – really good – so you have to make sure you stand out so that people take notice of you… Just be yourself.”

With: “…now you have to remember, if you’re too out there, it can alienate people. They’ll think you’re more focussed on yourself, on causing ripples, than working for the team”.

So, to summarise, stand out, but also don’t stand out. How does one even standout? What does that mean for your personal brand (yes, I know, I said ‘personal brand’, Iet's move past it)? As someone who has been operating in the DE&I space for a few years now, standing out often means being vocal on the topics I care about, paired with a borderline eccentric dress-sense. What that essentially means, is being myself. But that wasn’t my modus operandi on day one of my first grown-up job.

Rightly or wrongly, there can often be pre-conceived notions of what a professional in a big firm looks and/or acts like - a mould of The Ideal Employee, if you will. When I started my career as a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed graduate, I was overly worried about making sure I presented myself in a “professional” manner. Queue a series of ill-advised three-piece suits presented with a side of some very awkward attempts at finance-themed small talk. I soon learned that I was trying to build an image that was a) inauthentic to me and, b) helping to perpetuate a stereotype of who was “allowed” to work in a Big Four firm.

I was clearly preoccupied with fulfilling outdated ideals, and failed to recognise that most organisations are values based, and that any organisation that recognises its people as its biggest asset will nurture, encourage and celebrate diversity as a core tenant of its values. Therefore, any notion of needing to maintain the status quo, or “fitting in” can easily become stifling and counterproductive as it limits the scope for not just diversity of people, but diversity of thought.

The idea of there being an inherent tension between building your professional identity and being yourself then falls away. The real rules of professionalism aren’t really rules at all; I like to think of them as basic human behaviours. Things like having an opinion (while respecting others opinions), being conscientious, setting boundaries – these all make for an environment where people can speak up and share what they truly think and feel. How you dress, what you read, where you went to school, how you speak have no bearing on your professional identity.

Now, I’ve been very fortunate to be able to work for and with people who have encouraged me to do things in my own way and in my own voice. Being able to operate in this way has made me eminently more comfortable because I feel I am operating from a place of authenticity that means I can really stand behind the choices I make.

So, what’s the answer? Should you rock the boat, or keep the sail steady? (Full disclosure; I went sailing like once in school and vaguely remember something about a sail? And possibly a jib? Let’s not examine the imagery too closely here). Well, the real key here is authenticity. It sounds trite, but the message really is to be yourself and encourage those around you to do the same. The less we worry about fitting in (or foster an environment where people feel they have to fit in), the less of a blocker it is to forming diverse and high-performing teams.

The opinions above are all my own.