Making an Impression Without Being the Expert in the Room

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If we haven't been acquainted yet, I’m a professor of organizational and cross-cultural psychology, the author of?Global Dexterity ?and?Reach , and an HBR contributor and consultant.?I also work closely with coaches, trainers, consultants and teachers to certify them in my?Global Dexterity Method .

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When you think about croissants and bagels, your first thought is likely food. But that’s not how networking expert Robbie Samuels sees it.?For Robbie, these two breakfast treats are key metaphors for networking, with the bagel representing an exclusionary, uninviting circle at networking events and the crescent-shaped croissant representing a more open approach. I caught up with Robbie to chat about the bagel vs. croissant debate, networking in general, and about his own career trajectory.

Andy Molinsky:?What misconceptions do you think people have about networking??

Robbie Samuels:?A lot of people would probably tell you that when they think about networking, it makes them feel icky. And I totally get that. In fact, there was a study by Harvard in 2014 that found that networking made people feel morally and physically dirty because they saw networking as transactional.

Andy Molinsky:?So how do you help people who feel this way?

Robbie Samuels:?I help them see networking as relationship building and that we have a lot of experience and enthusiasm to share. My goal is to help clients move from thinking "I really don’t want to do this," to "I am excited to be there and to see who I can meet and connect with."

Andy Molinsky:?And what advice do you give to less-than-confident college students who maybe don’t feel they have much to add at these events?

Robbie Samuels:?I have a great story of a college student who was at an event with a very well-known speaker at his campus everyone was clamoring to talk with. The guy had a cup of tea in his hand, which was really hot and in a paper cup - and clearly bothering him. And while everyone else was just trying to get his attention, the student I’m talking about noticed the speaker’s discomfort and went to get him a second cup for the tea. The speaker was so grateful that he asked the student to sit with him at his table at dinner that night and the two ended up having a great conversation.

Andy Molinsky:?That’s a great story.?It really shows how you can make an impression without being the expert in the room.

Robbie Samuels:?Exactly, and young people have many other resources as well.?They might know something about social media or technology that really provides value to a conversation. Or at a meeting, they might to take notes and report back to the group. The key is to discover what resources you do have and try to add value. And that could be as simple as noticing someone in an awkward position and helping them out.