Making difficult conversations easier is a five step process

The foundation of Personnel work is frequently difficult conversations, which may be why we are frequently viewed as the bad guys. However, in fact, the difficult discussions we have on our clients' behalf center on resolving a issue that is having an effect on the company, its employees, and the person who is being toughed up. There are strategies for handling challenging discussions that benefit both parties.

1.?The?key?is?planning.

No?matter?the?subject,?you?will?fail?if?you?don't?get?ready?for?a?difficult?conversation.?Imagine?having?to?start?a?conversation?about?an?employee's?poor?hygiene;?if?you?don't?get?ready,?you'll?just?"um"?and?"ah"?your?way?through?it,?which?will?make?it?awkwarder?than?it?needs?to?be.?You?likely?won't?get?a?good?result?because?the?recipient?is?likely?to?lose?interest?in?working?for?you?or?be?so?humiliated?that?they?are?unable?to?understand?what?you're?saying.

When communicating with someone who is performing poorly or behaving inappropriately, it's important to be aware of all the facts you have and know how to communicate in a way that is lawful and fair. If you don't have all the information you need, it might be best to wait for an informal conversation instead of jumping into a difficult conversation too soon. In some cases, a more formal approach may be necessary...Avoid making hasty decisions before fully understanding the situation!

2. Adjust Your Mindset

For the purposes of this blog, we are calling challenging exchanges as “difficult conversations” but we need to think about the impact of this type of labelling.?If you switch things up and remind yourself that you are looking to provide constructive feedback or that you are simply having a meeting that’s only objective is to positively improve the workplace no matter the outcome, you will likely feel more confident as you prepare.?This isn’t about pretending that the subject matter of the conversation is light and fluffy it’s about considering the end game and looking to improve a tricky or damaging situation or behaviour to achieve a successful outcome for everyone.

3.?Honesty?Issues,?With?a?Part?of?Respect

A?tough?talk?requires?integrity–?anything?else?is?a?waste?of?time?as?you?didn't?resolve?the?problem?if?you?don't?place?your?cards?on?the?table.?However,?you?don't?need?to?become?violent.?Calling?someone?aside?and?saying?"You?stink?and?everyone?is?complaining.?Here's?some?shampoo,?today?use?it?"certainly?gets?a?message?across,?but?we?would?claim?it's?the?wrong?one.?Instead,?taking?one?away?and?letting?them?know?that?what?you?have?to?claim?will?likely?be?uncomfortable?for?you?both,?and?next?discussing?the?chemical?problem?allows?the?sender?to?discover?what?you?are?saying?and?then?respond.?You?may?discover?they?have?a?health?problem?that?is?causing?the?problem,?or?it?may?well?be?that?they?grew?up?in?a?home?or?lifestyle?that?did?not?allow?perfume.?Either?way,?you?open?the?door?to?a?discussion?that?minimises?the?shame?and?works?towards?a?solution.

If you have an employee who has acted improperly, it is important to be clear about the problem and lay out the facts as you know them. You also need to be clear about any process you will be following in terms of management of the issue and the associated timeframes. Anger or feelings of hurt are not appropriate when addressing an employee’s behaviour. A considered and thoughtful approach does not mean that you are a ‘soft touch’, it simply means that you are prepared and impartial. Despite your own feelings about the situation, it is important to stick to the facts and take appropriate action based on what you know.

You?might?also?need?to?adhere?to?procedural?fairness?protocols,?which?include,?among?other?things,?plainly?outlining?the?concerns?or?allegations?and?giving?the?person?the?chance?to?respond,?depending?on?the?best?strategy?you've?chosen.

You?need?to?be?open?to?hearing?the?other?side?of?the?story?because?there?might?be?more?to?it,?such?as?a?developing?individual?theatre?that?has?affected?behavior?or?unresolved?workplace?issues.?Just?be?aware?that?there?might?be?no?explanation?and?that?the?behavior?may?simply?be?toxic,?so?you?should?be?prepared?to?handle?it?properly?and?calmly.

If?an?employee's?performance?is?falling?short?of?expectations,?sugarcoating?the?problems?or?cracks?won't?give?them?the?knowledge?and?understanding?of?where?they?are?or?what?they?should?do?to?close?them.?You?must?be?able?to?identify?areas?where?the?individual?is?failing?to?fulfill?the?demands?of?the?position?or?the?company,?and?you?must?develop?a?strategy?to?close?the?gap.?You?can?do?this?in?a?cool,?competent,?and?correct?manner,?but?you?cannot?NOT?do?it.?More?than?your?business's?effects?or?productivity?issues,?the?impact?of?allowing?regular?poor?performance?has?an?impact?on?the?team?as?a?whole.

Keep?in?mind?that?being?KIND?is?being?Obvious.

?4.?Privacy?Matters

Dealing?with?a?challenging?situation?is?challenging?for?everyone?involved,?so?it?should?be?handled?with?care?and?professionalism.?Create?the?conversation's?location?and?make?sure?it?is?private?so?that?no?one?can?overhear?you?and?you?won't?be?interrupted.?Everyone?wants?to?believe?that?they?will?have?the?chance?to?show?themselves?yet?in?their?darkest?moments,?but?if?they?think?that?everyone?else?knows,?it?becomes?much?harder?to?do?so.?Keep?the?conversation?and?its?contents?to?only?those?who?need?to?know,?and?give?your?employee?the?space?and?chance?to?change?and?improve.?Shame?and?embarrassment?may?be?barriers?to?making?positive?changes.

5. Listen to Hear

The?HR?Staff?and?Stuff?staff?frequently?use?this?expression,?but?when?it?comes?to?effective?communication,?paying?attention?to?what?they?have?to?say?is?crucial.?When?you?listen?intently,?you?never,?ever?understand?what?you'll?discover.?You?can?learn?more?about?what?is?happening?and?why?there?has?been?a?rapid?decline?in?performance?by?listening?in?on?your?employee's?severe?personal?drama?that?is?causing?the?problem?at?work.?Alternately,?you?may?learn?more?details?about?the?situation?that?could?lead?to?more?severe?repercussions?for?this?worker.?If?you?pause?for?a?moment?and?give?people?the?opportunity?to?talk,?you'll?be?amazed?by?what?they?say.

Keep?in?mind?that?when?you?enter?a?"difficult?conversation,"?you?may?already?know?what?you?need?to?say,?but?you?must?make?room?for?your?employee?to?speak.?Their?side?of?the?story?might?not?ultimately?alter?the?outcome?or?absolve?them?of?blame?for?their?bad?behavior,?but?it?might?offer?some?relief?when?it?comes?to?figuring?out?how?to?proceed?and/?or?an?outcome.

The?hardest?part?of?being?a?company?president?is?undoubtedly?managing?employees?and?their?behavior,?but?it?can?also?be?the?most?enjoyable.?The?way?you?respond?to?a?difficult?or?complex?dialogue?will?affect?how?it?is?received.?As?always,?our?staff?of?HR?professionals?is?available?by?phone?to?assist?and?mentor?you?through?these?difficulties.