Making The Different quite Normal

There is one certainty related to being famous and being genius. People will make up a story pretty much out of everything you do. If you did something funny or awkward, it will soon come out to light. Let's take Albert Einstein. According to the legend, his wife often suggested that he dress more professionally, when he headed off to work. 'Why should I?' he would invariably argue. 'Everyone knows me there.' When the time came for Einstein to attend his first major conference, she begged him to dress up a bit. 'Why should I?' said Einstein. 'No one knows me there.'

Now, let's look into this scenario, but change the protagonist. A random, average kid. Let's say me (you saw that coming, didn't you). I was 12, I recon, and I was spending my morning before school finishing a painting that was my homework for the art class. My classes would start at noon, so I thought I had enough time to do that, but at the end I it turned out longer than expected, so when I was done, I just picked up my 'work of art' and run to school. I run into the class last minute and took my spot, breathing heavy from the run still with everyone staring at me. When we hit the break, my best friend came to my desk and without ceremony, took my hand and rushed me to the bathroom. 'What is wrong with you?' she screamed at me 'where did you take those clothes from'. Oh man. True that. I totally forgot to change from my 'painting clothes' which were just honestly a bunch of old rags. So my friend put me in front of the mirror 'Look at yourself'. Yeap. That was me, standing there looking like a lunatic, with paint in my hair and all over my face. Over the break I managed to wash up and rearrange the rags (how awesome it sounds), with my friend graciously offering me her hoodie to cover me at least a bit.

Probably, if my art was Picasso-worth piece, by now those stories would circle around as legends and I would make this sloppy look a part of my artistic image. But so it happened I was just a ill-dressed kid with equally ill skills in painting. Einstein could afford it, as he benefitted from halo effect - since he was so successful in his field, he was getting appraisal or understanding for whatever other goofy stuff he was pulling.

Recently I was talking to a person, who told me they are very much annoyed by a co-worker, who is singing in the kitchen, when they prepare their morning coffee. Not one time and not when no one is there. Just like that, every day, independent of other people's presence. I was thinking, what would I do if I came in to the kitchen and walked into the middle of such a concert. Say 'good morning' pretending I am oblivious of what's happening? Just do my own thing? Or join? Then I thought of my best childhood friend who had the same trait. He was really good at singing, he was performing often in public. However, he had special love for Lion King soundtrack. It started when we were still young when the movie was released, but it was a long-lasting crush. Therefore, until the end of high school (yeap, 18 years of age), whenever we were walking back from school alone (and our route was through a bunch of small, quite side streets), he would sing the Lion King songs from the top of his lungs with me supporting the chorus. Because I was his best friend, he felt totally free to indulge himself in making this small show for a one-person audience. But I was the only one who knew his secret (ok, now it's out, sorry, man).

We live in a world striving for perfection. Social media make us pose as a perfect-bodied beings with perfect lives, holidays, families. But the truth is that each of us has something that makes us different. Some are visible and some are not. And some of those visible ones can make us feel uncomfortable. Let's move to more serious examples. Most people feel ok talking to a person who is on a wheelchair, as long as they look the same. The only difference is - they are sitting. But their body seems relatively similar to your body otherwise, right? What about people with different body deformations? This is where usually the level of discomfort rises. What about disabilities that make people look or behave really different than average? A person with Tourette syndrome displaying different body ticks or loud behavior?

I met people with very various attitude towards this. The usual reactions are spreading from 'they should stay at home and not make others uncomfortable' to 'I am polite so I won't look, I pretend I don't notice.' Imagine you are a person who was really born different. And whole life you feel you make others uncomfortable just by your pure existence. Wherever you go, people will turn away their heads, either from distaste or from what they perceive politeness. At best you feel like a ghost, at worst like a horrible abomination.

That is the life of many people with disabilities, or not disabilities, but just body characteristics that make them look different, like albinism. A fellow mum of a child with cerebral palsy told me how heart breaking it is for her to have a walk with her son in the park. Not because he won't be able to play ball. That they both accepted. However, what is crushing is people ignoring them or kids visibly scared of him. Another friend of mine, when she got pregnant, was told by her family to stay away from one of her best friends, as the woman was blind. The family was convinced the child can 'get it' from that person.

Why is our reaction to 'different' so often fear and distaste instead of curiosity? Since when the polite behavior is to ignore instead of saying 'hi'? I was wondering how differently I would feel if I came all covered in paint and dressed weirdly, but instead of the big reprimand my friend would just laugh with me at this story. And that's just a minor incident and one-time event. Apparently it was ok for Einstein to look weird all the time - people would excuse him whole-heartedly and do exactly that: laugh with him, not at him. When it comes to permanent, visible differences, not every person with ALS is Stephen Hawking, and not every person with Tourette's Syndrome is Billie Eilish (yeap, she's got it). And yet, we are ready to ignore and exclude thousands of people with the same condition, just because of it. If we accepted Hawking and Eilish, and Einstein, why do we struggle to accept a regular Stephen and Billie, and Albert who carry the same features? Every human being deserves acceptance and acknowledgment. It's time we realize if we have a problem with the way other people were born, it is our problem, not theirs.

So next time when you hear a colleague signing in the kitchen, just join. And if you have a neighbor or acquaintance with disabilities, just say good morning as you would to any other neighbor. People who are different don't need your pity or cold politeness. They deserve respect and honest acceptance.

Why should you bother? Well, let me break it to you, none of us is as perfect as our Instagram. People go around your quirks, smaller and bigger all the time without making big fuss around it. You'll be surprised, but if you keep an open mind and engage with those who are different than you, it will make you overall a more interesting and a better human being.