I’ve done a fair bit of research into building rapport over the years – I’m all about relationships, especially when it comes to selling.
- Use the persons name (correctly) - it never ceases to amaze me how many people get this wrong. Be careful, be respectful, go above & beyond.? Especially if their name is a little different or hard to pronounce - it’s worth it.
- Be Authentic - humans have an inbuilt bullsh!t detector and will sense any misalignment between what you are saying and actually thinking. One of my favourite sayings is that “If you wouldn’t buy it, you most definitely shouldn’t sell it” – Be authentic with everything.
- Question – not just open or closed questions, that was SO very 1990’s, be curious and ask insightful questions. Get the person engaged in the conversation, make them think, be curious, you will be astounded what this can uncover.
- Listen – there is absolutely no point in asking great questions if you then don’t shut up and listen. “Listening is the ability to have your mind changed” Carl Rogers, here end the lesson.
- Common Ground – do your due diligence, scan the room and the person. One of my largest ever wins in business came from recognising a watch worn by elite athletes, I asked him if he was a runner or cyclist (he didn’t look like me a swimmer….) “cyclist….why do you ask?” Boom, I still had to do a lot of work but it opened the door to building rapport and the relationship.
- Empathy – put yourself in their shoes, really try to understand the problems they are trying to solve from their perspective. This has presented some of the more challenging times in my life but when I’ve nailed it, things invariably work out well.
- Compliment – I walked in a fruit shop the other day and asked someone who looked like the owner if it was their shop “yes – why?” came the suspicious reply. My response was that it was the nicest one I had ever been in and I could see how much time & effort he had put into the presentation. He was SO very happy & humbled, it really was lovely making him feel like that. He tried to give me a bag of apples by way of thanks which I didn’t accept, the smile on his face was plenty.? Don’t suck up – be genuinely complimentary.
- Tell Stories – especially if you are good at it, stories move people, putting them in a time & place that may very well relate to them. It’s our opportunity to leave people in a better place than we found them, or to use the words from American Poet, Maya Angelou:? “I have learned that people will forget what you said & people will forget what you did but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
How can you build a relationship today?
