Are you making choices, or are they making you?
Two of the defining characteristics of modern life, for many of us, are 1) an ongoing sense of being “busy†all the time, and-2) a much greater range of choices in many areas of our lives.
Is this your experience? Are you constantly busy, running from here to there, from place to place, meeting to meeting, appointment to appointment? Do you find yourself living in a mood of “overwhelm†occasionally, or even often? Many of us have lost what we may call a healthy sense of balance in our lives. Of course we need to be productive and accomplish our personal and professional goals... and at the same time, without a purposeful practice of slowing down, reflecting and taking a look at what we’re doing (actually, what we’re choosing),we may find that we aren’t really making our choices. They’re making us.
The invitation is to increase the degree to which you are living a purposeful life, a life of conscious choices. One way to move in this direction involves taking a look at ourselves, and how we actually end up doing what we do! So... We all live in language. In practical terms, this means that our little voice is rarely silent. And as we’re running around, many of us are not very powerful observers of the stories we’re creating and the choices that we’re making... day in, day out... year in, year out. In many cases, these stories, interpretations and narratives seem to arise so automatically and transparently that we can find ourselves on a sort of auto-pilot.
An ancient practice that has proven to have multiple benefits for millions of human beings around the world is meditation. There are many ways to meditate, of course, and many different approaches and schools. But they all include some versions of:
- Purposefully relaxing the body and stilling the little voice. Think "relaxed and alert without thinking" as a way to prepare.
- Becoming a more conscious, aware observer of your internal conversations... and as they arise, simply noticing them and releasing them. View yourself not as these internal conversations, but as the author and observer of them!
- When (not if) your attention starts to "follow" a particular internal narrative or story (or external noise etc), once you notice this occurring, simply let it go and return to simply breathing. Each time this happens, view this as a "rep", just as you would any other exercise in the gym!
- (A version of the above includes simply allowing your attention to follow and "go with" whatever thoughts and sensations you're experiencing and not letting them go - but doing so in such a way that you remain very conscious that you are the observer, curious about where you place your attention!)
- Becoming a more conscious, aware observer of your moods and emotions... and do so with a mood of curiosity about them.
- Breathing deeply and slowly, down in the stomach, not high in the chest.
- Quieting yourself physically and centering yourself in a "grounded" way in the present moment.
- Observing, not judging. Let's repeat: Observing, noticing... not judging
Millions of people, for thousands of years, have benefited from the improved clarity and awareness that are predictable results of a regular practice of meditation. Resources are available for beginners – many, many choices are available! And let's be clear - some people find this place walking on the beach, or in the mountains. Or riding a bike, running, jogging or swimming. Or in yoga, or sitting, or even washing dishes! Whichever approach we take, there is, of course, a tremendous focus on simply "being" (not "doing") and using all our intentionality to remain as firmly as we can in the present moment.
In this way, our lives can exhibit a sort of "cycling" or "cadence" or "seasonality" by having purposeful times in which we are externally focused, accomplishing what we choose to accomplish, being productive, making things happen... and other purposeful times when we are inwardly focused, quieting ourselves, being peaceful, present with ourselves and nourishing ourselves... strengthening our capacity to not only make conscious choices in our lives, but also to be more authentically present with others.
.You can start realizing benefits almost immediately, and you can spend as little as 5-10 minutes a day. What will you choose?
I look forward to hearing from any of you, anytime for any reason... and remember: Never Stop Learning!
in gratitude
Chalmers