Making big decisions: finishing formal education and leaving the country

At the weekend, I realised that this week marks an important time in life with 2 key decisions.

These go back 22 years to 2001.

The first thing

I finished my 4-year degree in International Business with French at the University of Northumbria.

I was quite proud to come away with a 2:1 degree.

My course tutors had tried talking me out of doing exams and my dissertation at the same time, as I had fractured my hand in 2 places playing rugby that April.?

This meant having a cast for 10 weeks.?

The tutors advised that it would be easier for me to push back the dissertation and focus only on the exams. And I would be given additional time to complete these.

I understood their logic, although I didn’t buy into this. There was a certain sadness mixed with my inner competitor that wanted to prove someone wrong about what they advised me was possible.

I was determined to graduate with all my classmates rather than defer that a year and have a ceremony with a bunch of strangers. So, I thanked them for their advice, but committed to finishing everything in one go.

Next to the practicalities. I’d fractured my dominant hand and I didn’t have a laptop / computer of my own at the time.?

So, I had to rely on booking university computer time. I taught myself to write basic notes with my left hand to keep up. And my flatmates and family gave tons of support too.

Bless my mum for making me meals that were pre-cooked, pre-bagged, and pre-cut, so that I could manage to empty one into a saucepan to heat for my dinner!

When you set out a goal, it is amazing what you can achieve when you really want to, and set out the plan to get there.

I do admit that I was exhausted after these last 3 months of university. But I got over that quickly. The bonus of being 22!

The second big decision was deciding what to do after graduating.?

Going through university I always quite fancied joining a big corporate as part of a graduate scheme, maybe in something like marketing.

In the final year, we’d had presentations from some local businesses, I’d chatted to some, but was left feeling like this wasn’t for me.?

Part of my degree was the 3rd year abroad in La Rochelle (France) and I had to complete a 10-week placement to secure the double degree.?

I’d applied to multiple places and didn’t have much luck. Banks, hotels, local firms. All were either full as the French are good at looking for summer work, they weren’t interested, or I heard nothing back.

As I built good rapport with the rentals manager - Corinne - at the estate agency that rented me my apartment, I figured I’d pitch working for them. What’s the worst they could say?! “Ah mais non, monsieur!”

I explained the timeframe, and that I’d be happy to cut the grass, sweep the pool, clean and show apartments…whatever was needed to sell them on the idea. I’d even work for nothing.

Corinne discussed this with her manager, Xavier, and I was invited in for a chat with him. This got me the placement work I needed! Phew.

Fast forward 10 weeks, and I’d done a solid job, so when I was heading to the UK for my final year in Newcastle, Xavier told me that if I wanted to return to France upon graduating, there’d be a job for me.

I had lots of time to think about it before deciding.?

A lot of thought went into this too.?

• What might others think??
• What would life be like if I did get into a corporate graduate scheme?
• Where would moving back to France take me in life and my career?
• What if I make the wrong decision?

As a strategic thinker…this is only part of the questions list I asked myself!

Maybe this sounds like a decision you might be mulling over at the moment??

It can be easy to go round in circles, and not get anywhere.

The allure and excitement of opportunity and something very different, versus a relatively safer and more expected choice.

But taking the more scary, and unknown path can be the exact one that you need to take.

So I agreed to head back to France.

I was offered an initial 4 month contract. In some ways, limited certainty, but no long term commitment either.?

So I figured it was worth a shot.?

I’d learn a lot, improve my French greatly, and make some money in the process. Worst case I could go back home if needed.

And if you get me chatting about my 5 years of living and working in France, one of the overriding messages is that it was one of the most challenging and rewarding times in my life. And I am so glad that I took the leap of faith.

So my 3 tips if you are facing a similar situation of “should I, shouldn’t I?”

One - Gather more information about the different options

I’ve learned that I could get stuck worrying about all the varying eventualities, feeling and experiencing the different futures, which would lead me to struggling to make a decision.

And this was before I knew enough about each of the options! What a great way to create further uncertainty and anxiety. So, jot down the details.

Two - Consider the pros and cons of each option

And look at this through different lenses. It might be more money, but will involve many more hours. It might be less money, but is more in line with your values and passions. Will you be learning and stretching yourself? Or is this more of the same? What does this mean for your family life (if that plays a part in such a decision)???

This could even include columns or headings such as “what excites me about this?” or “what am I afraid of about this?” Getting this all written down will bring more clarity for you and information to work with.

Three - Talk this through with another person

This is a key part. And it is important to choose wisely. Particularly if you are someone who turns to family and friends, or if you fall into people pleasing and what others think.

There is no shame in this. I have done this a lot. At times it might help. But at other times it might complicate things even more.?

Often those closest to us may want to protect us and have us avoid any pain, embarrassment, or struggle. Some might silently want to hold us back as it has them questioning their own lives, careers and journeys.

So, look to those people that are going after what they want in life. The do-ers.

The people who will objectively look at your options, and talk them through and consider them with your best interests at heart.

This could be someone already in your circle, a colleague, a family member, a mentor or a coach.?

Over the years I have talked lots with my Dad, a long-term mentor, friends that were really good at analysing and seeing opportunities. I’ve also paid to work with coaches and mentors over the years.

These people can really help to make the difference whether in a formal or informal way.

Over to you

This might take a bit of time or practice, but my hope is that you can come out of this with a clearer understanding of your options, and your heart (and head) will know which one stands out.?

Then go for it.?

Taking action will always minimise some of that fear.?