#MAKERACISMWRONGAGAIN

I have a confession. I see color when it comes to people. When I am around town, or traveling across the country, I see people with skin tones different than mine. I see it. I see something else too.

I see them as families going to activities

I see them as parents with their kids

I see them as kids going to school

I see them as people coming, or going, to work

I see them as people looking for work

I see them as people getting something to eat or drink

I see them as people heading to enjoy some entertainment

I see them as people I want to know

I see them as people I want to be friends with

I see them as people I want to work with

I see them as people I want to understand better

I see them as people who I want to ask questions of

I see them as them as people who I want to ask me questions

I see them as people I might be able to teach something

And I see them as people who could teach me something.

I have another confession. I feel lost and frustrated. It is 2020 and as a country we are not being the world leader I believe we should be regarding acceptance and welcoming of diversity. We still have whole groups of people, based on different ethnicities, orientations, and religions (for example), who are being condemned based on the actions of a few.  

I want to live in a country where we stand by each other. Where we accept people as the individuals they are and embrace our differences instead of being afraid of them. I agree we need to hold the individuals accountable for their actions who harm our country, our neighbors, and allies, but not place the guilt on others purely based on having a similar trait.

It is time to stand up and be seen. I understand it can be uncomfortable to stand up by yourself against those who believe their own race is superior to others, but you will never stand alone. You may just stand up first. We need to open our communication with each other, stop being afraid to ask questions, and stop judging or teasing those who ask questions which might be awkward to answer. I understand it can be uncomfortable to speak to someone you don’t know, but you may just speak first. I feel the idea of Reddit’s “Ask me anything” would be amazing regarding race relations. Imagine if everyone you knew allowed you to ask them one question about anything without being judged for asking? How much could we all learn from each other? How quickly could we learn how much we have in common and how much we could help each other by understanding their needs and building true relationships.

I feel people are more self-protective than in past years. I feel like I see hesitation in people’s eyes. People who work to accept others may find obstacles in getting the opportunity to be closer to others harder to get passed. Meeting others and having them as part of our lives is becoming harder as we huddle in our groups of similarity for comfort and support. When I pass people and say hi or ask how they are doing they looked shocked someone would speak to them as one customer to another customer in a store. Honestly, I have had some great moments in my life by this action alone.  My favorite moment was at a local QuikTrip where I said hi to an individual who lives with a development disability and the person asked me for a hug. It made my whole weekend. I still look for him every time I am at that location. There was no way for him to know it, but I really needed a hug that day.

We ARE different colors, different sizes, different genders, different ethnicities, different religions, and come from different experiences. Not only should our differences be recognized and accepted, it should be appreciated as it is who we are and seeing those differences help us see them. Those differences can improve who we are and bring new insight to our own personal lives and problems. When I was going through a tough time a few years ago, I needed someone to talk with to help me through it. I needed a friend. I wasn’t needing a friend who looked like me, but I needed a friend who would accept me, listen to me, love me for me, and most important be there for me. When you really need help, the look and ethnicity of someone becomes completely irrelevant.

I am not ignorant to the fact our challenges go far deeper than our social environment. I recently was reading an article regarding wage gap. As someone who has worked in Human Resources for nearly 20 years, I knew the gap still existed but was shocked at how large the gap still is.

Black women are paid $.62 to every $1.00 compared to a white, non-Hispanic man.

Native American women are paid $.58 to every $1.00 compared to a white, non-Hispanic man.

Latinas are paid $.54 to every $1.00 compared to a white, non-Hispanic man. This means they would need to work until 93 years old to earn the same as a white, non-Hispanic man who retires at 60 years old. What?!

It can be hard to do the right thing, but doing the right thing is who we are as Americans. Ask yourself if everything stayed the same would you be willing to change places with those different from you? If you wouldn’t, you know things are not right. Each person reading this post can install change. Each employee should be paid the same for the same work and performance. Each employee should have the same opportunity as every other employee to advance in an organization. Hats off to Goldman Sachs who recently made the announcement they will not take companies public if they don’t have at least one “diverse” member on its board of directors. It is still far from where we should be and a small step in moving the market forward, but it is a start.

We need to display our love for people and #MAKERACISMWRONGAGAIN. Understand we all have biases, but we can learn to acknowledge them, understand them, and move past them. Walk across the room.  Put yourself out there to be educated. Ask questions, truly listen to the answers and ask more questions, and pass the education on to others. I know we can’t fix this problem in one day, and it goes much deeper than buying a cup of coffee and having a conversation, but we must start somewhere and we each have to start where we are comfortable to be able to stand where we are uncomfortable. #MAKERACISMWRONGAGAIN.

(Please forgive typos. I tried to polish as best I can, but it can be hard to edit your own work when writing from the heart)