Make Yourself Useful

We had spent the afternoon at our local children’s museum, followed by an early dinner beside the old-fashioned train station. The food was delicious, but our dinner companions weren’t very pleasant. Two little ones who skipped their naps and one newly minted 6 year old were not in the right headspace for sitting still for a nice meal, regardless of the view. And that’s when it all started to fall apart.

Cutting our meal short, we followed the boys to the mini version of an old steam train that was just their size, and let them play on it for a few minutes. They made some new friends- a group of brothers about their age, and apart from an-almost fight over a ball, it was a successful interaction. My husband’s announcement that it was time to go was met with opposition from all three of our miniature constituents, only to be amplified by our ask that we stop by the restroom prior to getting in the car.

So off I went with 6, while 2 protested by running away. Capitalizing on the chaos, 3 recognized this as his opportunity to strike. Unbeknownst to my comrade-in-arms, I mean my husband, 3 ran off to “go with mommy” while I, unaware of his true whereabouts, thought he had hung back with my husband and 2. His criminal propensity at age 3 is terrifying and impressive all at once, an absolute strategic master who assessed the situation, exposed a weakness, and didn’t hesitate to act.

In his absence, we divided and conquered, dealing with diapers and other restroom-related matters while 3 was, apparently, outside of the restaurant, inexplicably barefoot, and intercepted by the hostess who brought him in to find what I can only imagine she believed were unfit parents who didn’t even know their kid was missing. The looks and judgement didn’t stop with her though, glares from surrounding tables pierced me from every direction as I:

1. Processed what had just happened, and
2. Comforted my screaming child who upon seeing me had decided he was, in fact, scared.

Here’s a secret: So was I.

There’s a major temptation to now begin a diatribe about how this experience taught me the importance of not judging others. And I get why people jump to that, it’s the easiest thing to say, but is it easy to do? Is it possible even?

There’s something that you learn when you’re a Resource Manager. Pretty early on in the job actually. It’s the fact that the thing that would be “ideal” is not only not going to happen, but is honestly a waste of time to try to force. Most of the time, as an RM you are tasked with making the impossible, possible. You’ve got limited resources, specific asks, and a timeline.

Operating under that model teaches you to focus on what IS possible and seeing it through as best you can. That mentality has at this point become my personal philosophy, though I’m not sure I realized it until just now. That being said, I won’t ask you not to be judgmental. Just as I won’t task myself with a pledge to be the perfect mother.

Here’s the thing: you’re going to judge, and so am I. In fact, I’m doing it right now. My perspective is simply this- WHEN you judge others, don’t expect anything in return. What I mean is, go ahead and judge. Nothing I say will stop you from doing it and actually isn’t judging just a natural thing, sometimes to make ourselves feel better?

So do it, but know this: it won’t change a thing. So, if the intention behind your judgmental stares and whispered comments is to facilitate change, then listen clearly - what you actually need to be doing is taking action. If you see something unfolding that doesn’t seem right to you, and you feel yourself beginning to judge, ask yourself this: can you help? If the answer yes, do it. Take advantage of that opportunity to help in that moment. Go ahead and make yourself useful ??

For stressful moments, or hours, or weeks, I don't have a magic solution. But I do enjoy a glass of wine to wind down after the chaos! If you do too - here's an exclusive promotion through Naked Wines - Take the wine quiz and get 6 bottles for $39.99 ($100 off)

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Christine Robinson is a Resource Management expert, Strategic Advisor, award-winning speaker, best selling author, and the mother/stepmother of six. Recognized as one of the top leaders in the Philadelphia Business Journal's 40 Under 40 List for her performance and community contributions, Christine is passionate about supporting women and underserved families. She holds an MS in Human Resource Management from Fordham University, a BS in Sociology from Bowling Green University, and is a certified Resource Management Professional.

The former Managing Director and Head of Resource Management at a prestigious accounting and consulting firm, Christine has steered national teams, instituted firmwide functions, and established international joint ventures. As the visionary and Founder of Resource Management In The Wild, her mission is to empower professionals and organizations to successfully navigate resource allocation. A true RM at heart, Christine loves suggesting products to people who can benefit from them, and as such, may earn a commission from links in this newsletter.

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