Make Your Connections PERSONAL!

We spend a lot of time in life searching for the best way to present ourselves to others, to get in touch with new people and expand our circle.

Depending on who you listen to, you may come across different approaches. What is universal is the belief that your ability to form connections with others is an essential component of securing success and happiness in life.

I haven’t spoken to you individually, but I’ll bet that we’ve received some of the same messages about forming connections with others.

During a presentation I facilitate called “Relation Through Conversation,” I’ll say the first part of a phrase and the entire audience can finish it without fail.

I shout out:

•  “It’s not what you know, it’s…” – (audience) “who you know.”
• “It’s not what you say, it’s…” – (audience) “how you say it.”
• “You have to learn to separate business from…” – (audience) “personal.”

Most people generally agree these phrases are true.

In my opinion, all of these are at least partially true. However, I say partially for a reason.

I am going to challenge each one of them and rephrase them to change the emphasis.

Instead of “It’s not WHAT you know, it’s WHO you know,” I say “It’s what you know ABOUT who you know.”

Just knowing them is not enough. There is specific information that you need to get to in order to have an impact on them.

Instead of “It’s not WHAT you say, it’s HOW you say it,” I say “It’s what you say AND how you say it.”

Have you heard the statistic that 93% of communication is non-verbal? Have you read the actual experiment? The statistic is oversimplified. In my opinion, the words you choose matter a lot more than 7% and your intentions behind your words matter even more.

Instead of “Separating business from personal,” I am going to challenge you to adopt the attitude that “EVERYTHING is personal.”

Don’t invest any of your time and energy in something that is not personal to you.

When people use the phrase “separate the business from the personal,” they mean you need to maintain your professionalism in your interactions with others and get things done despite your personal feelings.

Have you ever had a bad day in a professional environment, whether it was work or another?

Do you immediately change the way you feel once you clock out? No, you don’t. It affects the rest of your day, doesn’t it?

Why? Because regardless of what environment you are in, you are only one person.

You don’t have a professional self that is completely separate from your family self and your social self.

You are one person, made up of many thoughts, feelings and experiences that all come together at the same time.

You are a person with a story that has personal importance to you.

I can meet you in a professional setting or I can meet you in a social setting.

If I want to make an impact on you, I need to get to those important thoughts, feelings and experiences to make our interaction personal.

That’s what leads to lasting connections.

I want you to remember the phrase:

EVERYTHING IS PERSONAL!

Jalaal Madyun

Certified Professional Coach