Make Your Age Work for You

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Age is just a number, an adage that we like to quote, but is meaningless in reality. Age defines us -- negatively and positively—as the sum of our experiences. We all have met people in their twenties who act as if they are sixty. And people in their sixties who act with the energy of those in their twenties.

Ageism is real

Ageism is a factor, and it is particularly cutting for women. All you have to do is watch television news, and you see graybeards “paired” with women half their age. After all, it’s “okay” to look your age when you are a man; better bring out the botox and hair coloring if you are a woman.?

Men, too, are losing out because of their age, mainly if they are in a job search. So often, companies consider younger worthy of a longer-term investment, and they may be cheaper (not to mention more "malleable").

According to a survey?published by AARP , “Two out of three workers between ages 45 and 74 say they have seen or experienced?age discrimination ?at work, and job seekers over age 35 cite it as a top obstacle to getting hired. And if you happen to work in the high-tech or entertainment industries, your chances of experiencing age discrimination are even higher.”

Colleagues who show us the way

Yet more and more, we see elders with full faculties remain productive at work well past seventy. The question arises, however, if that is what you want to do. I have colleagues in this age bracket. They are vigorous in their thinking and relentless in their enthusiasm for positive change. They have an infectious glow that is inspiring, not to mention inspiring.

One of them is my friend and colleague?Sally Helgesen , author of?How Women Rise. ?Through her decades of pioneering work in women's leadership, Sally has enabled women to see themselves more clearly as a means of understanding obstacles and opportunities. In a recent?newsletter , Sally writes:

“My epiphany came while I was lying on a yoga mat next to one of my heroes, Frances Hesselbein, who had led a number of high-profile non-profits. Hesselbein was then in her mid-nineties, yet she was at the peak of her influence. I realized that, should I be lucky enough to live into?my?nineties, I would be mid-career at 65, with as much of my work ahead of me as behind me (I am a bit of a late bloomer).?Inspired by Frances, I adopted a new mantra: ‘Mid-career at 65.’

“The ten years since then have been by far the most professionally rewarding and lucrative of my career. And Frances, now closing in on 108, is still with us.”

Another person who inspires me is?Ed Batista , an executive coach with roots at Stanford. He lives on a ranch with his wife and Buster, his dog. In a recent newsletter, Ed writes about aging. "It's disorienting, which I feel in a broader, more expansive sense as well. I turned 55 a few weeks ago, which reminds me of this piece of wisdom from my friend and colleague?Joe Dunn : In your 40s, you slowly become an ‘old young person,’ and in your 50s, your rapidly become a ‘young old person.’ That's precisely how I feel at this age: a young old person, a newbie geezer.”

Whether you are in your seventies or fifties, you understand that age is not so much a number as it is both a challenge and an opportunity. It is also a kind of reward because, each year, you realize that people older than yourself (and sometimes the same age) are no longer alive. The thought is sobering but reminds us that nothing in life is a given. What's more, Sally and Ed's satisfaction comes from their contributions to others.

Living on your “inheritance”

Good health is a gift. Old age is a withdrawal of that gift. My late father, a family physician, delighted in his geriatric patients, especially those who said, "Doc, never been sick a day in my life." Probably not wholly accurate, but typical of previous eras. Then when they reached seniority in their late eighties or nineties, they would fall ill or suffer a fall, and then, as Dad would say, like a watch losing a mainspring, they would be dead in a matter of months.

The idea of those aging is not to expect to do what you did at thirty or forty. At the same time, realize the pressures you faced as a younger person – establishing a career, raising a family – are in the rearview mirror. You are likely far wiser than you were decades earlier. You may not be tech-savvy, but you are world savvy, and as a wise elder, you can be of assistance to younger colleagues and friends. (In turn, they can help you with tech issues.)

So no, age is not a number. It is a marking of our time here on earth and a sign that, unlike our dreams of youth, we will not be here forever. Yet seeing what we can do now and with our faculties can be rewarding. The opportunity awaits us.

First posted on Forbes.com 09/28/2022

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