Make It A Win-Win

The Era of "Gotcha" Leadership is Over!

Do you have a DMV horror story? The Department of Motor Vehicles is an organization with a notorious reputation for its "gotcha" approach to serving its customers. How many of you have stood in line at a DMV for an unreasonable amount of time, only to be sent away (or to the back of the line) because of a slight infraction? For example, you didn't fill out the confusing form correctly, or perhaps you didn't have the right combination of the six required IDs. The entire system appears designed to confuse and frustrate the user.?

I have experienced, on numerous visits over the decades, the complete lack of a service mindset at the DMV. As a hospitality professional dedicated to making life better for my guests, I was often less than amused by the DMV construct. At each visit, I came to expect a rude DMV clerk whose sole purpose was to deliver a "gotcha" experience for the customer.?

I recently listened to a podcast about Trader Joe's and how they build happy teams passionate about delivering a great customer experience. As a result, the company has forged a unique niche in its marketplace. Founded in California in 1967, Trader Joe's approach to the supermarket model has helped it achieve an extremely loyal customer base and the envy of many companies in its sector.?

In May 2009, Consumer Reports ranked Trader Joe's the second-best supermarket chain in the United States (after Wegmans). In June 2009, MSN Money released its annual Customer Service Hall of Fame survey results, in which Trader Joe's ranked second in customer service. From 2008-2010, Ethisphere magazine listed Trader Joe's among its most ethical companies in the United States.? In 2014, Consumer Reports again ranked Trader Joe's a top-scoring supermarket chain. In addition, the company ranked #23 among the 2019 Glassdoor best places to work in the US and #14 in 2020.?????

Pretty impressive considering the competition! And they do no marketing! The key to their success is their culture and training process. They have a fun, don't-take-yourself-too-serious attitude with a strong focus on teaching culture, not necessarily skill. They also hire 100% for attitude. They seek outgoing, detailed-oriented people who thrive on human interaction. Trader Joe's hires people who are passionate about food and serving others. They prioritize customer service by encouraging associates to drop what they are doing to engage with customers seeking help or advice. Their overarching goal is to create "win-win" interactions with customers and associates.?

This win-win approach is the opposite of the DMV. Sadly, many organizations are more DMV than Trader Joe's. The "gotcha" approach to human interaction is, unfortunately, the norm. In recent years, enlightened organizations have discovered that position-based leadership (I'm the boss- just do it) is no longer a viable leadership approach. Workers want more from their workplaces, and in 2021, they are driving change. It's a buyers market, and the employees are the buyer. They aren't looking for just a paycheck; they are looking for meaningful work at a company with a positive workplace culture.?

At One Degree Coaching, we have recognized the need to redefine and restructure the manager's role and approach. The out-moded, traditional approach to managing people has long needed an upgrade. Many workplace culture thought-leaders agree that the number one skill set for leaders in the COVID-era is "empathic concern": the ability to sense what another person needs from you.?

Evolution has helped humans be brilliant at identifying fault but not so good at "catching people doing things right." As a result, humans are wired for survival, focusing on the threat, not the connection. This basic human survival mechanism is the driving force behind how most managers manage people. The problem is that people need positive feedback more often than negative feedback to be engaged. Therefore, employers can gain a competitive advantage in this highly competitive market for quality employees by focusing on a new win-win strategy.?

Here are a few suggestions to help your organization become an employer of choice:

1. Lead with empathy and compassion: a win-win relationship begins with managers who recognize the power of building positive relationships with employees. Humans need to feel safe and that they belong before they engage positively in the workplace. Instead of the usual knee-jerk reaction to reprimand when an employee errs, use a caring and curious approach. "Are you ok? You don't seem like yourself today. I am concerned about you. How can I help?"
2. Use "Magical Feedback" and create a sense of belonging: a study by researchers at Yale, Stanford, and Columbia had middle schoolers write an essay, after which teachers provided different kinds of feedback. Researchers discovered that one particular form of feedback boosted effort and performance immensely; it was deemed "magical feedback." The feedback was simple and consisted of one phrase: "I'm giving you these comments because I have very high expectations, and I know you can reach them." The feedback contains three distinct cues:

• You are part of this group.
• This group is special; we have high standards here.?
• I believe you can reach those standards.

These signals provide a clear message that lights up the unconscious brain: Here is a safe place to give effort.? You are safe, and you belong.?

3. Connect before you direct: the employer-employee relationship must become a real relationship. Your power position as a manager no longer gives you the power to be an effective leader. Instead, approach your relationship with your employees with a level of genuine caring and connection. Like it or not, the power in leadership is your ability to connect so that the employee can trust you enough that they permit you to direct them.? That is where the real "power" lies: develop trusting, empathic relationships in an atmosphere of safety and belonging so that you don't need to be "the boss."?

Leadership is the art of getting someone to follow because they want to!