Make Tuesday Great Again - Before It's Too Late....

I coach some extraordinarily talented young adults between the ages of 14-29, acting as a GPS of sorts as they pursue their short- and long-term goals. Lately, I’ve noticed a rather significant trend in my clients. In the workplace - for adults - they have a cute little name for what I'm witnessing: "Quiet Quitting."

But, for my clients, it's just burnout. And it's not quiet. Nor is it just that little bump-in-the-road that occasionally pops up in life to throw us momentarily off-track.

I’m talking true burnout.??

Symptoms: lack of interest and commitment, lowering standards and expectations, disinterest, moodiness, withdrawal, and snippy interpersonal communication in previously motivated, disciplined, passionate, and committed young adults striving to reach their full potential.

This concerns me – and it should concern those of you blessed with similar young adults in your life – whether in your classroom, on your sports team, or in your home.

It would be convenient to assign blame for this phenomenon on the social isolation, distance learning, and other inconveniences and challenges associated with the pandemic. And I’m sure these have all played a rather significant role in what I’ve observed. But, there’s something even more pervasive and insidious – the tidal wave of negativity that seems to dominate both traditional and social media platforms these days – and the concomitant epidemic of drugs, alcohol, sex, and unrealistic expectations undermining an entire generation’s adolescence.

Everywhere young adults look – all of us look – there’s divisiveness, tribalism, finger pointing, and an air of self-promotion that seems, at best, unhelpful and, at worst, desperate. We seem to have slipped into the rabbit hole of COVID and come out the other side into an apparently black and white, all or nothing, I’m right and your wrong world of immediate gratification and unrealistic expectations.?

To be sure – our young adults face pressures we simply didn’t have to wrestle with at their age. They feel the “need” to participate in multiple sports, extracurriculars, and service activities not because they want to – but simply to build a resume that the “right” college might find attractive.?

And this in the face of widespread alcohol and drug abuse, even in the very best schools and neighborhoods in the nation. And I haven’t even begun to wade into the pool of sexual and identity politics that students must navigate as early as freshman year of high school – or perhaps earlier.?

I remember wanting to wear the right clothes – and athletic shoes – as a teen. I, too, wanted the “best stuff” and to be thought of as “cool” by my peers. (I wasn’t.) Alcohol, marijuana, and sex “existed” at my high school, to be sure. But not fentanyl, cocaine, and heroin - much less the group sex parties and “rape culture” that exists on many high school and college campuses today. And we didn’t have social and traditional media glorifying such behaviors.?

I remember the “bad boy” on my high school campus. He went to Georgia Tech. And he wasn’t really that bad. I remember the California Coolers and beer parties. I even remember some arguments and fights. No one died. No one had his or her life inexorably altered in an instant. To be honest, I was most certainly “stupid out of season” a few times in my life. Perhaps I got lucky – but I don’t think so.?

I think it’s a matter of “degree.” Our “trouble” just wouldn’t even register today.?

Indeed, we live in a hyperbolic culture. There seems to be no acceptable “middle” road. It’s “all or nothing.” It’s “I want it all and I want it now.” It’s “I deserve to go to Harvard because I work hard.” When “things’ don’t go our way, it’s because the “system” (whatever that is) is “woke” or unfair.?

It’s not. At least not for most of the people complaining that it is.

And it’s our fault.

Allocating blame does us no good, however. We have to act.?

I never censored what my children read, watched, or listened to. But, then again, they didn’t have?Euphoria, the Kardashians,?13 Reasons Why?– or Tik Tok, YouTube, Instagram, or Snapchat. Critics (and fans of these types of “entertainment”) might argue that such outlets simply depict life as it is. Hm. If so – are we proud of that? What do we do about it?

We are, after all, the generations that watch and chuckle slyly at the misbehavior and … shenanigans (?)… of shows like the?Real Housewives?franchise,?Selling Sunset, and?Southern Charm. We of the Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret generation tune into and feed the hyperbolic negativity and bias of traditional media. We expose our young adults to influences we never would have imagined at their age. Even?Meet the Press?goes off the rails these days as our political landscape matches – or surpasses – the inanity of everyday life.

But it’s just Tuesday to our young adults. This is their “normal.” Think about that for a second.?Euphoria, the Kardashians, heroin, fentanyl, cocaine, sex, NIL in athletics – it’s all just… Tuesday to them.

I have to be honest. If I were raising my kids today, I would know as much as legally possible about their lives. I’d know what they are watching, reading, and with whom they are associating. I’d visit their friends’ homes before they spent the night. I would have my daughter come in for a kiss on the forehead every night when she got home – so I could smell her breath. I would drug test. I would check their phones every night – and even show up in unexpected places to check their phone and to see what they are doing. The car would have a tracker on it. Their phone would have a tracker on it.?

And we’d talk about everything. Everything. Heroin, fentanyl, academic cheating, lying, the definition of “success,” what clothes are appropriate for which situations (and what clothes are never appropriate). Oh – and we’d talk sex. Let me tell you. We’d talk about sex. And rape. And how to protect themselves.

And the sad thing? This wouldn’t surprise them.?

It’s just Tuesday to them.?

They see it. They live it.?

No wonder there’s so much talk about “burnout” and “quiet quitting.”?

Here’s what I know – based on my experience coaching, consulting, advising, and mentoring dozens of high performing young adults around the country (and globe).

They want limits. They want to talk to you about what’s going on their lives. They really want to talk. They want you to listen. They want you to respond. They need you to respond - with unapologetic honesty and no judgment. They want sanity back in their lives. They need sanity back in their lives. And they need you to guide them back towards it.

I know. They tell me.?

Thankfully, my work enables me to provide this structure and balance to my young clients. But it’s getting harder, folks – much harder.?

We need to act.

We need to Make Tuesday Great Again.