Make time for a non-transactional conversation

Whenever a friend of mine who is generally affable and warm talks to me, he doesn't forget to mention how busy he was but still had to find time to talk to me. He would also boast about his new investments and how the turnover of his company is constantly on the higher side. There is no problem in terms of my conversations with him because he is genuinely invested in the friendship but surely can do better in making efforts for a non-transactional conversation.

There is another friend who would call and talk warmly and would never say that she was either busy or had to take a lot of efforts in finding time. She just calls and sometimes even without asking me and I also make it a point to take her calls and we discuss all the great things as well as challenges and vulnerabilities. I understand and appreciate that people who are at an entry level career may have challenges in choosing a friend over a meeting but they can also intentionally mark a time on their weekend. Where there is a will, there is a way and this old saying is much applicable in these times.

"True connection happens in conversations where there's no agenda, no end goal, just an exchange of thoughts, feelings, and presence. Non-transactional conversations are not about getting something done; they're about being seen, heard, and valued."

I recently re-connected with someone whom I would call an acquaintance and a former student as well. I made it a point to ask questions beyond her work and she shared her experience in learning swimming in her mid-forties and how a mindset shift made her take this step. This is that kind of conversation which I term as "micro moments of brain illumination". When we read an interesting book or talk about intelligent stuff with people, our brain suddenly illuminates further, creating a "Diwali" or the festival of illumination in our mind. When we take interest in the conversation, without stating the length of the conversation or how we sacrificed work for the sake of talking, believe me we feel immensely satiated with what we could talk about.

One golden rule that I follow is to not ask questions like, "How are you" but rather to say "I am happy to be a part of this conversation. I am genuinely interested to know something new that has happened or any great experience which you would like to talk about" and I love to get into the flow of taking interest, learning something new and looking at the whole person and not just one or two traits.

In this extremely short stint of life, making choices of connecting with people, getting into the zone of their energy and listening to the words they tell could make our lives enrich and flourish. And needless to say, I am just a call away!

#talkingtopeople #warmconversations #nontransactionalconversations