Make sure YOU KNOW your success impacts ALL at home

Article 10 in the "Leading from Afar" series, Dr. Lisa Lande

Since beginning the Leading from Afar series, the title of this article has changed in a most fundamental way. What started as "Make sure your success impacts someone at home" shifted to "Make sure YOU KNOW your success impacts ALL at home". You see, when I began, I had envisioned my success might impact a handful of leaders at the Lab. Yet I've come to see in a very real way, that each of us carries a tremendous responsibility to act correctly and to do our best as consistently and consciously as possible. I have come to understand that every action we demonstrate contributes to or detracts from the general momentum and well-being of the entire environment that surrounds us, and sometimes even beyond. This has been one of the most significant lessons for me personally in my effort to lead from afar. Because whether near or far, we carry this level of impact on a great many people's lives. So today's lesson is simply a recounting of what I have learned about individual responsibility and accountability and its link to ultimately impacting a much broader base than we might have even considered possible or relevant.

Today's lesson is also meant to highlight how healthy care of self is the natural starting place for healthy care of others and ultimately the Institutions we serve. If we aspire to realize a genuinely healthy culture within our organizations, it can only be realized as an aggregation of each person committing to and ensuring their own well-being first. That may sound selfish, but it's quite the opposite: if any one of us undermines our own well-being by not taking care, and as a consequence performs our responsibilities at less than our best, we by default put everyone around us at risk. Our need to be on our game, love what we do, and recognize the impact each of us have on all of us, is essential to realizing success. That's pretty heady stuff.

A Personal Recount

For me personally, my litmus of success has been how well I'm able to put into practice all I have been preaching in this series of articles. Have I been able to make a significant contribution to the organization, staying viable and visible in the eyes of my colleagues and customers? And how well have I been able to have impact my organization’s mission success from this remote location, supporting my peers and my supervisor in line with both their and my own needs? How awesome will this experience have been if I created meaningful work while I was here, and consequently that success opened the door for others to walk through with ease? If I succeed and my year away is deemed valuable by the Institution I serve, I recognize that I will have positively impacted the possibility of others having a similar experience. Yet I absolutely recognize the opposite is also true. I could have cared-less about this opportunity other than to get away from work. I could have chosen to make no effort to contribute to my organization's success, but instead played hooky and done little. If I acted that thoughtlessly and irresponsibly in light of the gift I was given, I fully recognize the power I held to do harm, and ruin it for others who would wish to work similarly at some point in their careers. So yeah, I take this responsibility seriously. I let it drive me when at times I don’t want to work quite as hard or when I don’t always feel like putting in the effort to think through the consequences of my behavior. At those moments, I push myself to remember that I value my success and my reputation and my ability to positively impact all I am associated with and work for at home. My success impacts all at home. And that for me is empowering and humbling at the same time.

So long story short, the title of this article changed to more accurately reflect how our individual success impacts and matters to all. I like to think about what we collectively could realize if each of us accepted this responsibility as fully as we truly have it. Just think of the potential! And though I haven't covered it here in this article but promise to in a future one, we also must ensure that our organizations have the correct infrastructure in place to allow employees to optimally use their fully focused selves. Particularly at our most vulnerable transition points, like at on-boarding. Whether a new hire, a newly transferred employee, or a promoted one, these are all transitions that require a bit extra care-and-feeding from the organization. In these situations, employees must be provided with the information, resources, and guidance necessary to stay confident and acting correctly, alertly, and responsibly. Nothing can dampen an employee's enthusiasm and excitement to contribute more than not feeling confident about how to perform. And all because simple, clear, and uniform expectations and guidance were not provided to them. That's a "shame on us" and an avoidable situation with a bit of consciousness from the organizational side of the house. But again, we will save that one for a later date. Let's return to our responsibility to self in support of all.

One for All: A bit more about Self-care in service of All-care

Last week I wrote a lot about accountability, about how it must be first and foremost demonstrated to and for ourselves before it can be granted to or for anything else. I wrote quite a bit about how we can never fully contribute to a great cause or for that matter, even a specific job task, if our heart and head are not in it. In other words, if we are not fully aware and engaged in the activity we cannot act with accountability. To maintain that level of engagement, commitment, and true accountability, there has to be a notable gain for all parties. If I work toward a great cause, outcome, or work product and yet I am not fully engaged, aware, and appreciative of that work, then I am only going through the motions without consciousness and without full engagement. Undoubtedly there is room for error in this situation. In my partial engagement, I have just upped the risk to myself and everyone else around me. And this potential for risk is real for each and every one of us, and in every industry. Whether working in nuclear operations or other high hazard work, the financial industry, in research and development, pharmaceuticals, the arts, or some cutting-edge high-tech company, its all fundamentally the same: If we are not 100% engaged in the work we do, the odds of risk to self and other increase. I cannot act with 100% accountability for what I've been entrusted with. And this reality leads us perfectly back around to self-care advocacy once again.

The Power of Self-Care

I’m here to advocate for a greater emphasis on self first as a strategy to strengthen our organizations overall. You've heard me say it before: Self-awareness and the correct action related to it, is the absolute starting place for any organization's pursuit of health, well being, and consequent performance. If we reinforce and encourage employees to pay more attention to themselves, their behaviors, their work, and their impact on others, we will see a commensurate increase in the respect they show others and the level of responsibility and accountability they demonstrate. We can't care for others well if we haven't first cared well for ourselves. It just doesn't happen. The airlines have known this for decades and have been telling us so. What's the first thing they tell us in the beginning of the safety message, just before take-off? They say, "In the event of lost cabin pressure, an oxygen mask will fall from above you. Put the oxygen mask on yourself first before helping others." Why don't we act similarly in every aspect of our life? By demonstrating this level of attention to self first, we will actually have more concentrated time, energy, and pleasure in our interactions and our work. Who would have thought a little self-care could go such a long-long way? 

If we stay with this train of thought a bit longer, let’s consider the oxygen mask metaphor again. If we all agree with the guidance “Put the mask on yourself first before another” only in life and death situations but find it ludicrous as a parallel for daily living, well I’ve got news for you: you are absolutely in a life and death situation at this very moment. It just doesn’t seem as immediate as the crisis of a plane wreck. So slow down a bit and start spending more time putting the mask on your self first. So much time and energy will be granted back to you as a consequence of your effort.

Self-care, Selfishness, and Selflessness

Unfortunately self-care, selfishness and selflessness are sometimes conflated. As a consequence, some of us think it's selfish to care for oneself. And to avoid ever appearing selfish, we may even over-correct, swinging to the other side of the spectrum to sacrifice our own needs in service of another. Defined as selflessness and certainly honorable in extreme situations, to sacrifice our own needs and interests time and time again in service of another ultimately puts everyone at greater risk. If you're not sure you agree, think about it for a moment; how does one continue to sacrifice their own need for sleep, food, or other ways of caring for self, without burning out or losing focus? How does one continue to put energy into another if they haven't put some time or effort into replenishing their own resources? How does one fully commit to anything they don't even really care about, but sacrifice what matters to them out of obligation or from a feeling of necessity?

A Hypothetical Illustration

Here's a hypothetical example of selflessness to illustrate its potential for harm: Let’s pretend that I'm an administrative assistant in a large construction company that designs, engineers, and constructs large bridge projects in metropolitan areas. I took the job because I needed the money and it was fairly close to home. I really wanted a job working with children and was pursuing one that super excited me, but it was going to take a while to materialize and this position with the construction company was available now; I thought I better grab it.

Anyway, The office I work in has been crazy this week, putting final touches on the design of a complex project. Two separate blueprints with minor but significant modifications are being delivered today to two separate locations, on either side of the job site. But I'm a bit off this morning, and I accidentally send the blueprints to the opposite location from where they each need to be. I couldn't help it; it's been so chaotic I'm honestly just exhausted. I feel it is my responsibility to take care of my family first, and sacrifice sleep to make sure all the laundry is done, lunches, made, and homework complete. Last night for example, and the main reason I'm off today, I completed my son’s science project since he didn’t do it. I know he should have finished it, but it was more important that he sleep. Plus I can do it more quickly alone than if I had to walk him through it. I can manage without sleep. Oh shoot, I just remembered I also forgot to put the sandwiches in each of the kid's lunchboxes! Darn, I left them sitting out on the counter too, so now they're wasted. Anyway, back to my work situation. Why do we always have to have these last minute modifications anyway? Plus no one showed me the correct way to manage labeling here; I've had to figure out my own way since I've started.They put so much pressure on us and no training or support. I'm not even into this work at all, and now I've screwed up: I've just learned my error will halt the project for another three-to-five days since it has upended the coordinated equipment schedule. The total cost for this delay is estimated at $3M for both my company’s construction related costs and the city's commuter infrastructure needs. And that's not even calculating in the cost associated with the whole office not being able to shift energy into the next project on our docket, with everyone now doing damage control instead. What a mess.

It turns out that my mistake didn't only put my job at risk - I'm likely to get fired for this making it even harder for me to effectively care for my family - it has put my entire office at risk. You see, now my company's reputation will clearly be impacted and hence the future work it can obtain. And now that the bridge's opening will be delayed, I've also cost the city a great deal of money as well as further inconvenience the commuters. They now have to continue using the re-routes that have caused significant commuter challenges and frustrations. (And though it hasn’t happened yet, those prolonged commuter frustrations hit a new high when told the bridge wouldn’t open on time; it will lead to a serious accident that injures two drivers and one passenger, and calls for yet another re-route increasing the odds of another accident.) Those darn kids! And why can't my husband help out more so I can sleep occasionally!

Illustration Debrief: Careful vs. Careless

The person in the above illustration could have been any one of us. Just alter the context to represent your own work environment and play it out. You see, when we are care-full, we are fully present in our work and also aware and respectful of our impact on our environment. When we care-less, we are often sharing our concentration and focus with other things that are of greater interest or concern to us. Careless individuals also think little about how their behavior might impact the greater environment. The thing is, both careful and careless people have huge impact on their families, their organizations, and the greater world; careful people yield constructive and positive outcomes, keeping progress and production moving. Careless people reap destructive and negative results, slowing down or reversing progress and production. Pretty powerful stuff either way. Well don’t stress about it if it feels a tad overwhelming. Instead, just be aware of the responsibility we each have to do our best by staying present, focused, and fully engaged in our work. That's the best way to honor this tremendous responsibility. Will you occasionally make a mistake? Do we all have off-days or feel less than fit? Of course. We're only human after-all (great song, by the way). Yet just through the act of comprehending this deep level of accountability we each have, already improves our success ratio. If we continue to act selflessly without any time to refresh or selfishly with no regard for others, we cannot or will not consistently deliver our best. Both are unsustainable propositions. Only self-care with its intent to better all, is sustainable. Only through caring for oneself first, are we able to refuel and fully engage again.

In Closing

In sum, self-care is ideally an act of conscious accountability. It calls for a recognition that we are acting responsibly to and for our selves in service of others. It requires our honest and conscious reflection on our motivations, interests, and needs. And through our self-reflection, we cannot help but notice that we are responsible for so much more than ourselves; that our behavior and every action we demonstrate, impacts well beyond the limits of our skin. If we want our employees to be accountable, responsible and fully engaged within our organizations, we of course have to provide the infrastructure necessary to perform, yet we also must help each honor their intrinsic needs in service of the organization. It is only then each of us recognizes the power we have to impact our organization toward positive outcome and forward movement. Organizational success and health - organizational culture - is an aggregation of individually successful and healthy employees. It is a shared well-being, and a mutual commitment. So yes, I see that my success indeed impacts all at home. I feel relevant and valuable and a desired part of something greater than myself. Isn't that what its all about?

Until next week where we talk about managing our schedules, please recognize the powerful role you play in maintaining your organization's reputation and success. Happy Leading!

Leading from Afar series, Article Titles and Dates

1. Let Go to Grow, May 28

2. Shift Your Measure of Success, June 4

3. Reflect on Your Behaviors and the Motivations behind Them, June 11

4. Thoughtfully Apply Driving, Guiding, and Letting go, June 18

5. Nurture Your Relationships Consciously and with Gratitude, June 25

6. Keep Yourself Present in Mind When You Can't Be There In Body, July 2

7. Get Super Comfortable Talking on the Phone and Help Others Be, July 9

8. Track Your Activity Regularly, July 16

9. Make Yourself Accountable, July 23

10. Make Sure Your Success Impacts Someone at Home, July 30

11. NEXT: Create a Schedule That Works and Make it Work, August 6

12. Enjoy the Experience, August 13