Make Room

The image for this newsletter was kind of hard to pick. I wanted to go for family, friends, fun, or even a river. Let me 'splain.

This summer has been kind of hard. I have so many things to do at/for work. I have courses to updated, webinars to prepare for and deliver, blog posts to write, ebooks to clean up and create, paperwork and emails to go through, and a ton of housework I've missed since I was not at home for about 8 months while kind of working on a startup.

To say I'm overwhelmed with work is an understatement to the point I've been figuring out how to cut back, whittle down, and say "no" more often.

But, as you know, it's hard.

To be honest, I still have PTSD from my layoff and subsequent Big Fat Failed Job Search of 2006. Even though I'm doing alright I feel like my alright could be yanked out from under me, just like my job and identity was back in '06. It's not totally realistic because of the way I've architected my income streams but it is something I worry about.

And so I feel like I need to work. Work harder, work smarter, work better. The stress of probably unnecessary worry combined with this idea that I need to create the security that I've always wanted means that taking it easy is hard.

When I was in my 2006 job search I felt that doing anything for myself or my family was robbing from my job search. Oh, how wrong I was. If I could tell old-me anything, I'd tell old-me how critical it is to spend time with loved ones and maintain what I wanted to keep, including relationships, health, my home, my stuff, etc.

Here I am, 16 years later, and I still have a hard time letting myself enjoy. But I'm forcing it.

The business project I had that took me out of my home for eight months took me to a tourist destination. I played tourist and snorkeled a lot. It was delightful. Then, I came home and my family wanted to do things... some day trips and a few overnighters. I felt tugged at to work during the day and catch up on home projects in the evenings.

But I knew that I needed to make room for my family. I needed to go on those trips and "be present," instead of being consumed by my work that really would never go away. I needed to make room for my wife and be present with her. I needed to spend the last few moments and years with my kids who aren't getting any younger.

As important, I know I need to make room for myself. This means making room (time and space) to eat better, exercise, read what I want, and enjoy life.

This last weekend we drove about 4 hours north to some of the beautiful Idaho mountains (well, close to the mountains) and enjoyed a long weekend with some friends from college. It was one of the first trips I didn't take my laptop and didn't feel like I had to check my email or work on some deliverable in years. It was so nice to just enjoy our friends and my family and not be consumed with work!

At the end of the day, isn't that what we are here for? Can you imagine a life where all we do is work? There's more to life than just working... we need to breath. We need to enjoy. We need to have something to look forward to, including social experiences.

We need to make room for these things.

The funny thing is that the better we are at making room for these things, the better we tend to be at work. When our buckets are getting filled outside of work we bring a more whole us to our work. Contrast that to being depleted socially, physically, mentally, spiritually, and then what do we have to bring to our work? Definitely not our best self.

Make room. Even though you feel tethered to your phone and your email. Make room for the important people in your life, whether that is friends or family. Definitely make room for yourself.

Oh, I almost forgot about the image I used... it's a goofy dog. Sometimes you need to be goofy, and let others around you see you being goofy and having fun. So let loose, let it go, and make room for what really matters.