Make Peace With Your Past Job

Are you struggling with how things ended in your last job? Were you blindsided by the fact that you were let go? Maybe deep down you saw it coming and yet, somehow, it was still a shock.

Jobs are a form of relationships and before you go from one to another, it would serve you well to process your situation and make peace with it.

All of our relationships have something valuable to teach us about ourselves. When we fail to learn the lesson that is weaved into the relationship, we will have another opportunity to do so. This is when we find ourselves in similar situations over and over again until we finally get it.

“There were red flags on the day I interviewed,” a client said to me, “but I wanted what I wanted and I wanted that job.”

She got the job and she worked there for a year. When they let her go, it was devastating.

She recalls how hard she worked and how mistreated she felt. She says that it was never a good fit for her and when it ended it was very painful.

How often do we see “red flags” or other “warnings signs” when we begin a new relationship and still choose, for whatever reason, to look the other way? Or, we talk ourselves out of paying attention to the signs when we know that they are there for a reason.

Another client shared with me how miserable she was in her last job. She told me how she secretly wished that it would end. When it ended, with her being fired, she was crushed.

Once we make up our mind that we are no longer invested in a relationship, what we “secretly wish” can take on a life of its own. We can end up getting what we want but packaged in a way that we would never consciously choose.

A third client shared her story of being micromanaged and controlled at her job. She said she could feel her once strong and solid self-confidence being torn down and that her strengths and gifts, the very ones she was hired for, were no longer being celebrated or appreciated. Although extremely hard for her to do, she resigned from her job without having another one to go to.

Having taken the time to assess her situation, she learned more about herself and what she needed to be happy. She learned that a job wouldn’t necessarily provide her with everything she needed to feel fulfilled and that she could supplement this with volunteer work that she was passionate about doing.

Even a great relationship can’t give us everything we need to be happy. We have to find a way to do that for ourselves. We need to reach out for help when we need it.

Whether or not we or someone else initiates it, when a job or any other relationship ends in an unfavorable way, it can be very debilitating. It’s important that we take the time we need to grieve and to process the situation. The tendency may be to blame ourselves or others, to get angry, bitter and resentful. It is easy to get stuck in these negative emotions.

Making peace with our past is what will help us move forward. Making peace involves forgiveness. Forgiving ourselves and forgiving others. This can be a very challenging thing to do especially when someone has intentionally wronged us. Forgiveness is something we do for ourselves, not for them. It’s a choice.?

We can’t wait until we feel like forgiving someone – that feeling may never come. To truly forgive, we must give up all thoughts of revenge and make the decision to forgive. Then, as if that is not hard enough, we ask that our pain be used to bless the one who has wronged us. (This might be some of the hardest and most rewarding work we ever do.)

Then, trust.

Trust that everything is unfolding the way it is supposed to. Trust that one day all of this will make sense. Trust that when one door closes another one opens. Trust that good things are headed your way.

Once you make peace with your past job, you will be able to speak about it with confidence. You will learn the language to use with potential employers. They will sense your peace and recognize that you have learned from your past and are now ready for a new opportunity.

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