Make the Most of Feeling Irritated (Seriously)

Living as I do on a remote homestead, certain urban conveniences are fond and distant memories.

?The United States Postal Service does not stop at my house and the nearest garbage collection site is a mile away.

?As for curbside recycling pick-up? First, we’d need actual curbs.

?So, for the 20+ years I’ve lived here, I’ve collected the recyclables in grocery bags and hauled them into town for drop-off ?at the recycling center, which was conveniently located within the circle of my usual rounds.

?Not any longer: They’ve moved. As a result, the recycling has been stacking up here at the house because I haven’t found the new location yet. It is in an area I don’t regularly visit so ?there is now an additional “hassle factor” in the process of recycling.

?Recently, I noticed a backdrop of irritation as I passed the accumulating stack of recyclables.

?The inner narrative began to wind up: I don’t know where they are. I have to go out of my way, it’s just one more thing to deal with….and so on.

?But –

?When the refrain began, I noticed it and paused to see if there might be deeper, subtler messages waiting beneath the surface-layer of irritation.

?There were.

?What I discovered: An unacknowledged level of fatigue due to less-than-optimum rest and a very full head, resulting from the flurry of activity surrounding a new launch.

?My take-away: Getting some rest was - in that moment - more important than dealing with the recycling. Circling back to address it AFTER feeling more rested would reduce some of the “ugh!” from the task.

?Why this was useful:

? Noticing the irritation makes it more likely I will take action. At some point, the discomfort of watching the pile of recyclables grow will outweigh the hassle-factor of having to hunt for the new location. ?

??? Key point: Irritation can lead to action.

?But wait....there's more: Action, for the sake of action, or to offload internal pressures generated by the irritation, can trip you up:

? Unacknowledged / unattended irritation leads to unconscious action AND eats up valuable personal bandwidth.

?? Key point #2: Unaddressed irritation creates background (or foreground) noise in your head. This takes up valuable space and energy, including the energy required to repress or ignore the irritation...and the energy / bandwidth required to clean up uninteded consquences from unconsdious actions (a.k.a. messes resulting from knee-jerk reactions).

Also (and I think this is the more substantive point):

?? Pausing to check in with myself and listen for the deeper message offered by the irritation allowed me to surface What Was Really Going On.

?The physical body I inhabit needed support it had not been getting.

?Being under-rested makes everything bigger, harder, heavier, darker for me.

I’ve learned to use irritation as a call to check in with myself, to look / listen for the wisdom living behind the irritation...so I can respond appropriately.

?Translation: In ways that are life-affirming vs. self-damaging.

?Translation #2: The deeply imprinted cultural narratives of Just Push Through are a big part of how we continue to hurt ourselves in outdated responses to irritation.

?The options available in the situation:?

• Fight myself and my body (anyone else been there beside me?).?
• Make myself wrong for having biological needs like rest.?
• Continue to make the recycling company wrong for adding a new level of complexity to already full days.

?Or, use the irritation as a call to connect more deeply with myself and surface the wisdom being offered by the irritation.

??? Key point #3: When harnessed with thoughtful intention, irritation can lead to effective, purposeful action with less personal cost.

?One final point: We get to choose: Reflexive response to irritation (with the often-resulting collateral damage) OR thoughtful, purposeful effective action leading – far more peacefully - to a desired outcome.

?The irritation itself? Something we can make ourselves wrong for experiencing because it seems so…unenlightened,

?OR –

?Use your irritation as a call to become present with yourself and notice the deeper wisdom living beneath the irritation.

?Which do you choose?

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How I can help:

1. If you notice your irritability being more frequent or intense," it may be time for a bandwidth check-up. Just as you defrag your PC, clear the cache and run anti-virus protection, care and maintenance of your personal bandwidth is crucial. If this speaks to you, contact me to schedule a personal bandwidth audit..
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