Make Lemonade From Lemons

Last week’s article, Assume at Your Peril, asked the question: Which of your assumptions are holding you back the most?

It made many people stop and consider it further. It is an annoyingly honest question that makes you uncomfortable. It forces you to reflect and look at yourself through a lens of candour, as if looking in the mirror. The feedback I received was that if you stay with the discomfort, it inevitably leads to expanded awareness and the ability to see greater possibilities.

It struck me how many people in corporate life are stuck in roles and companies that are misaligned to their values, yet they are simply not willing – or perhaps not even able - to take this reflective and difficult first step. I reflect on many who would prefer to blame and do nothing about a situation in comfortable misery.

I am not sure if it is the time of year, but I am feeling particularly decisive at present, feeling energized by new possibilities, and planning in earnest for 2022.

The office space I have been in for the last five years has gone down considerably in service recently, and despite expressing my concerns, little has improved.

It is one of my core values to be proactive and never join the whining society, so rather than moan, I have decided to exit the contract and trust I will find a new space that serves the next part of my career and business journey.

Why is it that many will stay in comfortable misery and not do something about their next career step and invest in the unknown?

Is it:

·???????Lack of planning?

·???????Lack of self-confidence?

·???????Not knowing themselves?

·???????Fear itself?

·???????Or even imposer syndrome – thinking that at another company they will get found out and not be thought of as competent?

I have observed that many employees continue on a career path that has not been designed by themselves but for them by others - their family, parents, friends or even line managers, all of whose own interests are served rather than the employee’s own needs.

The challenge with this approach is what happens when your career path no longer serves the interest of others? This inevitability leads to a sudden halt in career progression and confusion and at worse, can lead to bullying and exit.

I have made it my life purpose to ensure people take control of their careers and future-proof themselves by asking themselves challenging questions. So they end up knowing who they are, what they stand for and what their worth and value is.

I was recommended to listen to a podcast featuring Rear Admiral Danelle Barrett who served for over 30 years in the US Navy. I was initially nervous about listening as I am not a fan of big titles from large bureaucratic organisations.

However, I should not have been concerned - Danelle was an engaging, pragmatic and a very human leader. She summarised her approach at the end of the podcast with the term: “Make lemonade from lemons.”

I had heard this saying whilst on the Dale Carnegie course and interpreted it as – be resourceful and focus on what you do have, not what you don’t. Control the controllable and make the most of the situation.

Eight years before Carnegie's book brought the phrase back into the mainstream, a poem entitled?The Optimist?appeared in a 1940 edition of the monthly magazine, The Rotarian:

"Life handed him a lemon,

As Life sometimes will do.

His friends looked on in pity,

Assuming he was through.

They came upon him later,

Reclining in the shade

In calm contentment, drinking

A glass of lemonade."

I bought Danelle’s book Rock the Boat – Embrace Change, Encourage Innovation and Be a Successful Leader. In it she describes how connecting with people at every level allowed her to inspire change. By finding three positives in every situation - even the darkest ?- she provided a light to lead with vision. That personal responsibility for not being a jerk and calling out those whose behaviour is unacceptable started here.

This enabled her to defeat the twin blockers to change, of institutional resistance and institutional inertia. It gave her a plan of how deal with and not take advice from the naysayers.

So, my takeaway from this week is to be more open-minded to the sources I learn from, because they will challenge my blind spots and create more possibilities. I have been re-reading Matthew Syed’s book, Rebel Ideas:?the Power of Diverse Thinking to solve urgent complex problems. He says:

"CIA analysts were individually perceptive but collectively blind. They all came from the same background, so shared the same blind spots. How many powerful groups share this pattern? Cabinets, boards at some tech firms, senior civil servants…

...We need diversity of THOUGHT. When people with different perspectives combine, there is a vast uplift in collective intelligence. Yet we are drawn to people who think alike. We feel smarter when people mirror our beliefs and assumptions. This can be disastrous...

...Constructing diverse thinking teams leads to excellence - that can solve complex problems."

So this week’s question is:

When life gives you lemons what are you going to do? Whinge, make lemonade, lemon drizzle cake or even a Tom Collins cocktail?! ?

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