To make an impact, don't get cornered.

My dad was born on August 22, 1928. My father was a huge presence; though short in stature, he was a very big man. He'd have been 94 this year had he not died at the much-too-young age of 50 when I was just seventeen. In his brief time with us, my dad had an out-sized impact on others.

The fourth of nine children, he?grew up in severe poverty, joined the marines right out of high school, came home and married my mom and created a life for our family. In his career as a business and civic leader, service was what he felt called to.Taking care of others was paramount to him.?That was his impact and legacy.

The stories others tell about our leadership are informed by how we impact them.

One of the exercises we use to help leaders become more intentional about the impact they want to have asks the question:??

"What five words do you hope people use to describe you as a person and leader when they tell your story?"?The story of my dad includes words like?compassionate, optimistic, generous, resourceful, and resilient.?

To celebrate my dad's?birthday, I have?a gift for you and I'm going to ask you to share a gift with someone else. Keep reading to find out.?

No Victims Allowed.

While tremendously?compassionate, my dad had no time for self-pity and wallowing. If you fell down, he expected you to get up, dust yourself off, and keep going. He was a big believer that, if there's something you can do about your situation, do it. If not, let it go. In the film Batman Begins, Michael Caine as Alfred says to Bruce Wayne,?"Why do we fall, sir? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up." That was my dad's philosophy.?

A tool we reference a lot in our work is?the "Drama Triangle"?introduced by psychiatrist?Stephen Karpman in 1968 as part of his work in transactional analysis. It's easy to remember and resonates with every leader and team we engage.

To make meaning of our?experiences we tell stories. Stories have villains (persecutors), heroes (rescuers), and victims. When?we make someone else the villain in our story (or something else, like a team process), by default we become the victim. We put ourselves in the victim corner of the Drama?Triangle all the time!?That's a problem.

We cannot lead others if we are casting ourselves as victims in our own story or trying to play the hero in?someone else's.?Leaders don't rescue;?leaders coach and empower people to own their reality and shape their way forward.?

We?pick which role we want to play —?victim or leader. Choose?wisely: don't get cornered. Leadership is a victim-free zone.?

You have agency.

Here's your gift!?It's?a?simple tool—Undoing the Drama Triangle—I developed to help leaders remind themselves and others?that we have agency in every moment. When you use victim?language or hear it, you can get yourself or help someone else get out of the victim corner, rethink the situation, and reset how to move forward with greater agency.?

Happy Birthday Dad!

Here's where I ask you to give a gift to someone else. Please consider sharing this article with a friend or colleague. It's a way of letting them know that to celebrate my dad's birthday,?we're dropping the price of the Kindle version of my new book,?The Next Normal,?to $0.99?through Friday September 2nd.?And a big "Thank you" to?everyone that has already purchased their copy! You've made The Next Normal a #1 Amazon Bestseller!

What is?The Next Normal?

In my new book I provide an?actionable?framework for anyone who?wants to rethink, reset, and renew their leadership to make a bigger impact, engage their people, and lead a more successful transformation.

About Greg Giuliano

Dr. Greg Giuliano is an advisor and executive coach to senior executives and teams all over the world, designing change leadership and team development strategies to enable positive transformation. His mission is to help leaders and teams grow their capacity to enable positive disruption for markets, organizations, teams, and individuals.

Greg is the author of the #1 Amazon Bestselling Ultra Leadership: Go Beyond Usual and Ordinary to Engage Others and Lead Real Change and The Hero’s Journey: Toward a More Authentic Leadership. When not out on a trail running or hiking, he can be found singing with jazz trios in Portland, Oregon.

To bring Greg to your organization for a keynote or workshop?fill out this form.

Find more information about coaching at?Ultraleadership.com