Make dull meetings better with these 5 statements (maybe)

This article started as a joke. During a coaching session, a client and I explored how often meetings are just dull and although most people are thinking the same (if it’s online they are most definitely mentally disconnected and multi-tasking) no one is saying anything.

Somehow pretending has become the preferred option over not saying the obvious and the honest.

At the same time, every coaching session and focus group I have been part of over these last few years have told me that everyone is longing for more REALness.

We are longing for people to say what they think and feel. Not in a way that gives carte blanche to rudeness. But in a way that helps us trust and bring our full selves to work. We are tired of just bringing the “pretend-all-is-well-selves” to all our work meetings.

So here are 5 statements offered half as a joke and half totally seriously as something I would love you to experiment with.

The more “power” you have in the room, the easier it might be to say. The stronger your relationships in the room, the more safe you might feel in playing with these sentences.

If you can add humour and make yourself vulnerable in the process of using these statement that will help too.

What do I mean by making yourself vulnerable in the process? The sentences below need to be said with deep care. They can easily sound like finger-pointing and superior judgement. So, if you can show that you are noticing how dull you have ALSO been in the meeting it helps, because you are sharing: I am “guilty” too. “This is not about me being great and you all being boring. I am at fault here too.”

Final warning – trust yourself more than you trust anyone else. I always say this and I probably don’t need to tell you this, but of course – use your own discernment for how and when to experiment.

These sentences used in the heat of a moment could create a magical shift and have people sigh of relief – they could also result in a fall-out and potentially negative consequences.

It goes without saying, that I, the author of this article, and the platform where you read this, cannot be held responsible for anything that might happen as you apply these.

5 honest statements to (maybe) help make dull meetings better

1.????THIS MEETING IS RATHER DULL ISN’T IT?

This first honest statement is just pointing out your truth. The things is – if you’re bored, you can be pretty sure that several other people are too.

Another version of this statement would be: This meeting seems to have gone down a rather interesting rabbit hole.

This is a bit like being the young child in the Emperor’s New Clothes. It might create a bit of a shock effect and I wouldn’t use it if you are more senior and there is a younger person who has spent lots of time setting up this meeting. This statement can crush someone or totally liven up the mood. It works best if you can add in another light statement that includes you as part of the problem. For example: “Gosh, I guess we might all be too expert and too serious about it all to see how we can innovate here. I am feeling bored by my own thoughts here. I sometimes think my 7-year-old daughter can run this marketing department better than me.”

2.????ARE WE STILL CLEAR ON THE PURPOSE OF WHY WE ARE TOGETHER HERE?

This doesn’t require much explanation. It’s a pattern interrupt to help everyone figure out or remember why you are together. Bring in focus. A clear purpose always make meetings better. You can add: “Where do we want to get to by the end of this meeting? We have only XX minutes left.”

3.????I THINK WE CAN ALL DO BETTER

Use statement 3 with something like: “We are talented bunch of humans here – how can we do justice to this topic or how can we uplift the energy in this room? I know we can do better.”

Make sure you include yourself as part of the problem and be humble and invite suggestions. What works is if every single person is feeling responsible for lifting the energy and focus. When everyone “lifts” something new and exciting can become possible.

You might invite some of the people that have spoken the least to speak. Often those that have been quiet have more clear and helpful observations than those who have been sharing their own voice all the way through.

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4.????IT SEEMS TO ME WE ARE ARGUING FOR OUR LIMITATIONS RATHER THAN FOR WHAT’S POSSIBLE

Us humans are great at talking back and forth on all that isn’t working, won’t work and could go wrong… And although that can be an important conversation, we all know times when nothing new is being added and we are just letting ourselves sink deeper into a narrative that will become an unhelpful self-fulfilling prophecy.

Again with this statement, it helps if you admit that you are also tempted to share all the things that haven’t worked in the past, so that you are "guilty" too. Then share that you will be sleeper better tonight if you start looking at what could go right? What could work? Where is there some possibility? How can expand from there?

5.?????CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT I / WE HAVE GOTTEN WRONG HERE?

If you are the leader of a meeting and people are silent or you know they are not speaking truth, this statement can be really powerful. For this statement to work well, it has to come from a humble, genuinely curious place (as opposed to a judging, finger pointing place).

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What other statements would you add?

What does this inspire you to experiment with to make the meetings you attend better?

And of course, no matter what you are feeling and thinking, now is a great time to breathe,

Noomi

PS. If you want the people you attend meetings with to read this article, remember to give it a like, comment or just share it with them.