Make communication nice again

by C. Lacombe

Suggested video: TEDTalk - Robb Willer: How to have better political conversations

I don’t know about you, but I’m finding it harder and harder to remain tolerant of what people say on their chosen soapboxes – social media, conventional media, highly public or around a small table.

Increasingly, I find myself trying really hard not to show how I want to respond even though my whole body and mind is reacting in a way that makes me want to grab someone by the throat and shake them. I find myself thinking, “how can you be that ignorant and still be alive?”

I can be having a perfectly happy day and get thrown off-kilter by a single meme on Facebook. Not because I’m a hot-head, but because communication seems to have devolved into political attacks and implications that I’m sooooooo stupid, I’ll believe the quasi truthful, isolated fact that calls my ethics and values into question.

And there I am, banging my head on my desk and wondering just how many troglodytes live on this planet. Should I be worried about the fabric of our country because I appear to live in a society where ignorance is a justifiable reason to take violent action? And I feel it in my body. I know it’s those stress hormones flooding my body and clouding my mind and turning my thoughts to pure resentment.

It makes me wonder how many of us are moving around in a state of apprehension that at any moment someone may violate societal laws or norms and smack us for something we say. Also, how many people are in a state of distraction while driving a car or crossing a street? I also wonder if hordes of people feeling threatened, misunderstood and angry makes it more likely someone WILL take action in real life. Is this what might be behind some of the racial attacks? I think so. By allowing ourselves to take our public discourse to the mud-slinging level in all arenas, do we degrade everyone’s respect for each other, the law, accepted morals and common decency? Are we pushing our country toward division and is that really the outcome we want? Do we want Canada to fragment?

I think the unity of our communities, provinces and country depends on our ability to respect each other. I’m not seeing a lot of respect these days in our public conversations. I can’t help thinking that trying to rip apart our democratically elected governments isn’t the best way to ensure any kind of advantage. Or that pitting citizens against each other secures our future in a world where we will confront differences far greater as we move inevitably toward interacting with a global market and culture.

If we can’t get along at home, how will we go forth and sell our products to a different culture where we might have to confront extraordinarily different people? We all need to be able to approach challenging topics and challenging people with respect (even while we fantasize them walking off a cliff). We are, after all, a highly educated population that lives in relative comfort for the most part. We are not actually threatened on any given day and aren’t really surrounded by violent idiots with no respect for authority. None of us actually want to live in a community, province or country where we kill off our political leaders to make change or shoot each other for thinking impure thoughts.

Lots of us actually used to enjoy debate, examination of facts and exchange of ideas. Let’s do that again!