Make a commitment to your life today!

I am starting this article right after I have finished my 2019 vision board, I am feeling excited for what’s ahead.

It has occurred to me over the past few days that my yearly goals haven’t changed now for almost 5 years, they are simply evolving. I am now realising that I have been truly fortunate to know for a long time what I want from life and each year the same goals keep getting bigger with the desire growing stronger and the action steps getting braver. I have never been the person who jumps around from one goal to another, I have always known what I wanted to achieve and making the statement that I would be doing this exact job when I was only 15 years old always confirms this for me. 

January can be a tough month for many, it can be the month that it feels really difficult to get going, people feel compelled to have a new year’s resolution to fit in however, most chose something that is far from what they want and then feel deflated when nothing happens. The best goals in life are the ones that come from the heart and this is what I want to speak to you about in this article and throughout the month of January.

According to stats released in late 2018 1 in 4 people in the UK experience mental health issues each year, the most common being anxiety. This number will likely increase as the pressures of everyday life are becoming worse.

In previous years when someone was seeing a mental health expert you may have assumed something was wrong however nowadays with the “positive psychology” movement some seek help before a problem or issue arises. Positive thinking is a term that is thrown around however it is far more powerful than it seems at a first glance.

You may have spent the past few weeks watching hours of tv, overeating and partying, it felt like someone pressed the pause button on life, it felt good (at the time). Now it is back and all those old worries and stresses that were pushed down in December have come back but 10 times worse! It’s like the “we will worry about that later” and now this is the “later”.

In my line of work you notice more than ever the people who push their life goals further and further away by avoiding taking action. Again referring to stats in 2018 around 6,000 people commit suicide each year across the UK and Ireland, averaging at 18 suicides per day. We have to do more to prevent this number from increasing. These individuals could be family members, work colleagues, the local shop keeper, you never know what someone is suffering when you are not around.  

People convince themselves they need a new outfit or a new car or that holiday when what they really need is support with their mental processes. The more you bury confusion and tension the stronger it gets, no holiday, car or outfit will remove it, coaching and mentoring support from a professional who is qualified will.

Gilbert (1989) highlighted situations that were more likely to lead to depression one of these being an attack on a person’s self-esteem that resulted in the individual being excluded. Humans are constantly blocking themselves from judgement from others by behaving in ways to fit in however, this never leads to true happiness. The human mind still has the instinct to protect for survival which can often mean people pleasing to remain part of the pack as any sort of exclusion may lead to death.

You may hear me talk often about understanding your own story, this may seem simple but it can be complex and it can be life changing. Throughout our lives we experience setbacks, conflict, debates, break ups, job losses and much more, when we fail to process the emotions that come with this we carry the baggage around. You may have watched my video on my “emotional back pack” which displays what this can feel like on a daily basis.

We live in a fast paced, quick fix world and no one wants to feel uneasy or uncomfortable so they jump into action mode never really understanding what has happened to them and the impact it had. We have same day deliveries (I do love Amazon Prime, I have to admit), we send a text and can have a response within seconds, we can fast forward adverts, we are being set up to believe everything in life should happen in an instant, with emotions this is not the case.

I wouldn’t be where I am today if I hadn’t taken time out to process past experiences. I have had many challenges in my adult years in particular with personal relationships, I hadn’t always been ready to access support therefore, I know what it feels like to be carrying a story you don’t fully understand. You walk around just waiting on someone to say something so you can snap and then make it about them when really the pain is yours and it needs to be dealt with. It was when I stopped to reflect with a coach by my side that I was able to reach down deep inside to light the flame of my life purpose and here I am with my goals working well expanding each year.

Working with the human mind requires experience, qualifications and in-depth knowledge, every time I work with a client we end up back in childhood as there is always baggage that has not been processed. I have seen people struggle to achieve business success because of a comment made by a teacher at school, I have seen people lose money due to a childhood story of lack and limitations, and I have seen people experience extreme anxiety as a result of not processing a huge loss in life. When you revisit these events with the correct support you learn to understand them and the impact they had, it is when you understand them you can fully let them go.

In today’s world personal development is huge and everyone is keen to share what they are doing on social media however, laying new soil on top of weeds never works for long, the weeds will appear and they will ruin everything that has been planted on top of them.

The human mind cannot revisit painful experiences on its own as it is built to keep people safe, the human mind does not see emotional experiences as safety therefore it will avoid it at all costs. Peer support may never help you get to the root cause of a particular issues or concern, professional support does.

When you read a book that taps into your emotional pain even a little you will convince yourself the book is not for you but, it is, you just don’t want to and don’t feel able to revisit the pain alone. This will then create further stress and tension again never reaching that root cause. Twenge (2006) suggests people feel more stressed today than they did in the 1950’s due the pressures of modern life, this is the case despite the improvements in health and wealth since this time. Perhaps it comes from the need to impress others rather than work on ourselves.

I recently had a consultation call with an individual that was interested in coaching. During this call the individual shared with me that they were investing more into their business than they were earning as they felt they had to show people it was working. The pressure and stress that came as a result was immense. The business was not working the individual was draining every bit of money they had to show it was working on the outside. We completed some work around the subconscious blocks to ensure that results were achieved and an income was being made. It took a lot of time to work around the issues of what others thought about them, I believe the large majority of people experience the same. Humans are spending more time impressing others than they are working on their own mind-sets although, we are making improvements in this area.

If you want to understand your story and your life goals now is the best time to commit, it is the beginning of a fresh year. Imagine how this year could end if you spent time getting to know your own life story, processing the pain and loss to rewrite a brand new powerful story.

Throughout the month of January I am offering an incentive to help you get started on your very own self development journey of understanding your own story and how you can improve your life for good. For those who invest in my 4 week programme I will provide a free week at the end of the programme, so instead of 4 sessions if you sign up in January you will have 5 sessions.

Coaching and mentoring is powerful and will follow the process below:

1. We will define what you want to achieve in life. Clarity of life goals is essential. A large majority of people are still unsure of what they want, they never spend enough time thinking about this on a deeper level and then chose similar goals to others that are never fulfilling for them.

During a coaching programme we will define your life goals to the point you will know exactly what it will look like in reality, some of these may seem out of reach and that’s exactly what a goal should look like in the initial stages.

2. We will start to have you taking massive action steps towards achieving your goal, along the way we will highlight blockers, and thoughts/beliefs that are getting in the way. This is where the deeper work takes place therefore more than positive thinking alone, we will work at a subconscious level to recognise your fears, perceived limitations and we will heal them to let them go for good.

During the programme there may be times past emotional experiences are opened up again however we will work on this in a controlled way to ensure you are kept safe emotionally. I also provide support in between sessions as and when this is needed for my more intense programmes.

3. We will assess your goals as we move through the programme to ensure they are working, we will set tasks for you to complete and we will review them each week. I provide clients with a weekly plan to work on in between the intense coaching programme sessions. This plan keeps you on track and reduces the time spent wandering in the wrong direction.

4. When you are satisfied with the progress you have made we will bring the programme to a close, this will only happen when you are ready for this to happen. We can discuss this prior to the ending and will work on bringing your support to a natural close.

Coaching and mentoring in supportive, it helps you maintain mindfulness practices and it helps you improve your life.

If you wish to book a free consultation call to find out if this programme is for you please email [email protected].