Make 2021 a year of Reconnection

My friends, family and acquaintances.

After 12 long months, we are on the eve of a new year, and what a year we have had.

It started out splendidly and then a new disease, Covid-19, began to spread. Many took it seriously. Sadly, too many did not. As a result, we are still in the worst global pandemic since 1918. 340,000 souls have been lost, 20 million have been infected, including me, in the United States alone. Millions more have been impacted around the world. We cannot forget the men, women and children who have died nor the impact it has had on their families, their friends and the society at large.

Businesses and industries are shut down. People are out of work. Rents and mortgages are going unpaid. Evictions are looming. Quarantines and masks are mandated everywhere. Families struggle to find food, clothing and medicines (or toilet paper). And to compound this to a point of dystopian mayhem, there are still those who defy logic, science or common sense and will not participate for the good of society.

To all the brave people on the front line that began. and are still working tirelessly to help and heal our nation and the world, I say, “Thank you!” You are essential.

Yes, it is doctors and health care workers, but it is also the unsung teachers, counselors, dentists, bankers, accountants, installers, retailer clerks, cab drivers, postal workers, truckers, trash collectors, care givers, maintenance and repair workers, utility workers, fire, EMTs and police officers, our military, the farmers and food processors. I stand to cheer great praise in your honor. I thank you for doing what others would not. We are a grateful nation.

We also cannot forget the scientists who developed vaccines in record time and who finally give us a ray of light for a better tomorrow. Thank you all.

The Disconnection

What really stood out for me this year was that we grew so angry and isolated. That so many chose to be dogmatically dividing when we should have been unified. Coming together to defeat a common ill. We have never experienced this in our lifetime. Isn’t time yet, to heal?

In matters of politics, religion, civil rights, women’s rights, the economy and the environment, we found ourselves adamantly on just one side of these matters, and oddly reluctant to even hear, let alone comprehend, anyone who disagreed with our position. The truth was not respected but lies and deceits were. What happen to civility?

Why have we lost our sense of community? Why do we choose to be so rigid in our beliefs and points of view? When did we get so selfish as to not care for our family, our neighbors and our friends in need? When did we lose our pride in our heritage and our country?

The stresses have been enormous. In this same time as the pandemic, we have had drought, forest fires, hurricanes, tornados. And we even had a contentious election including a gross defiance against the will of the people by our Chief Executive. With a few weeks left until a new President, we worry what else can go wrong.

We have seen people of color murdered on the streets. We have seen an economy crushed for the average worker while the wealthiest have increased their treasure manifold. Greed, avarice and crime were in our daily news.

We have also seen the spread of homelessness and hunger that can only compare to the Great Depression, with cars lined up for food and testing. All this in the United States of America.

We saw peaceful protests for the rights of women, handicapped, the aged, LBGTQ. And Black Lives matter, but we also saw civil violence and unrest.

We’ve lost so many champions of freedom this year including John Lewis and Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. So many artists, entrepreneurs, entertainers, hall of famers, and role models- gone. We saw our government fail to act to ‘protect and defend the Constitution of the United States’ and its citizens.

And because of this, we have been isolated. In our homes and watching tv and online content until we can’t sleep anymore.

We critically lost every type of activity that requires people to gather. We are social beings. We need to be close and surrounded by other. We have been denied socializing and human contact.

Restaurants, conventions, training, sports, concerts, plays, operas, dance halls & bars have all shuttered. We could not even gather safely during the holidays with family. We no longer could hug or embrace people because we needed to maintain our distance, wash our hands and wear gloves and masks to keep us safe. We could not say goodbye to people we have lost.

My business of travel abruptly ended, too. Full stop! And with that, one-tenth of the world’s economy and the jobs related to travel and tourism stopped along with it.

People worked from home. Ordered groceries and products online. Folks who had prior medical issues had to stay isolated at home, too. Kids could not attend school. Worse, in 2020, too many homes in America had no internet access to be connected or remotely learn.

We did gather and we did it only online. We met our doctors, friends and family on video phone calls.

Praise must therefore go out to Eric Yuan an immigrant from China. Who? He founded a company that few had heard about just a year ago, but today no one can live without...Zoom. It made the pain of isolation not only tolerable but fun. And he made it available to everyone for free. Bravo!

On January 1st, the new year comes. Many still have fears, doubts and worries about living in such chaotic time. However, a new year requires new thoughts and new beliefs.

What Can We Do?

First of all we have made it through to a new year. That in itself is quite an accomplishment.

I think this is the perfect time to learn from the past, remove all those roadblocks we cannot control and look ahead to a life of our own choosing. We must reconnect. We must reach out to friends, family, customers and suppliers and let them know we are okay and discover that they are okay, too.

I have an exercise for you to try.

Get get a couple of blank sheets of paper and pen. On the first page, title it, “Regrets”. On the other, “Intentions”.

Set aside 30 minutes for this. Shut down all your distractions.

Now list every regret you have from the past year. Everything you said you hate, disliked and don’t trust. List every person that hurt you. List every event that you missed but hoped to attend. List all the mistakes you have made. List all the grudges you bear. You may need more paper.

When done, just set the regrets aside and begin the next page of intentions.

List all of your hopes, your wants, your dreams and desires, your abilities, your resources and most importantly your gratitude for the people, places, events and positive memories in your life. You will definitely need more paper.

Set these both lists aside and have a coffee and breathe. In a little while return to your writings.

First review your regrets. Were you a victim or a volunteer? Can you do anything to change what happened? Will you keep the hurt, the hate and the anger bottled up? Will it serve you going forward? My guess is probably not. History is unchangeable. The good news and that we can change. Time will change our perspectives, too. We will remember and we can learn, but we can’t fume over what we can no longer control without it taking a huge toll on our physical and mental health. Are you ready to change?

Put down your regrets and look again at your Intentions. Will you reach out to the people you want to meet? Will you be grateful to those that helped you and thank them? Will they be grateful for you? Will you make plans now to reach your dreams, your hopes and desires? Will you stop making excuses? Will you make more wonderful memories that you will want to share with those you love? If yes, put this list up near a place you will visit every day as a reminder. Each day ask yourself what progress you intend to make on your own happiness. Breath in and appreciate your advance.

Now go back to your regrets page. Crumple it into a tight ball. Stomp on it, and If you can, safely burn it. Watch it burn. If you can’t burn it; then discard it. And then it is done. All those things you regret are now gone from your life forever. You can now resolve that your past burdens will no longer to be obstacles to your chosen future. If you will, take a deep breath and feel the relief.

There is more. There is today. The one day we all have. Yesterday won’t come back and there is there no guarantee that tomorrow will come. But today is here. Why is that important? Because it is the only time we have and we can control how we use our time.

Today, reach out and speak with people you love. Call someone you haven’t spoken to in a long time. Meet a stranger and give them a smile (even through a mask). Give yourself the freedom to enjoy the moment.

Look around you. When was the last time you looked through a photo album or recalled where that souvenir on the shelf came from? There must be a story with every photo or item. Recall all those happy events and let them give you joy again. And then SMILE out loud. You heard that right. Look in a mirror an see yourself SMILE. Hold that feeling the smile gives you. Take another deep breath.

Then go and give a smile to someone else and know that they will have that feeling, too. You will no doubt get another smile back. The feeling of love will energize you. The gift will keep on giving.

This is the year to reconnect. Let’s unhook from those things that hold us back. Let’s strive for what we want. Let’s connect first with ourselves. Pay ourselves first, so we can help others.

Reconnect with the people you hold near and dear.

Reconnect with those you have overlooked or forgotten.

Reconnect with the stories that bring you hope, love and purpose.

And finally reconnect with your community: everyone we meet. In person, on the phone. It doesn’t matter. Take pleasure knowing that warmth, kindness, empathy, generosity and joy are contagious. In fact, they are more contagious than any virus, even Covid-19 This is a great thing. No one wants a cure for it and no one needs to wait for a vaccine either. If you do your part to reconnect and you infect a smile on everyone you meet for the next 12 months, I promise you that 2021 will be a terrific year.

Join me and invite others to join in, too.

My wish is that you all have a healthy, safe and joyful new year. That we not only return to ‘normal’ but we improve on what we want normal to be. That we will love others as we love ourselves. The Golden Rule never lets us down. Let us give more than we get so that we can accept that our lives are worthy and the diversity all around us provides us with an awesome rainbow of life.

Feel free to share this with others. May it bring light where ever it goes. When you are ready to travel, I will gladly show you the way.

Until we connect again: love, light and happiness.

Happy New Year!

Mitch Krayton

Joyful, America Human and Septuagenarian