Maintaining Your Self-Esteem

Maintaining your self-esteem during a job search can be difficult at times, especially if your search has been going on for any length of time. So much of who we perceive ourselves to be comes from the reflection of our personalities upon those with whom we are engaged on a daily basis. Cut off from an office environment and our former colleagues, we tend to lose sight of the fact that we haven't changed. All that has changed is that we don't see as many folks every day, who give us professional reinforcement.

It is very important to visualize success. In brief, it takes just as much energy to think negatively as it does to think positively. What happens in the job search process is unintentionally some of your contacts put a negative spin on your feelings of self-esteem. This is often connected to hearing the word ‘no.’ Obviously recruiters and Human Resource executives say no to you more frequently than they say yes. 

When saying ‘no,’ they also need to offer you a reason. Usually it goes like this; "If only you had a CPA or an MBA." Or, "I see you have done an IPO, but not in our client’s industry.” What’s the real story? The reason they are giving you isn’t valid, but it won’t get them sued. They may as well be saying you are too tall or too short for the job. It is of that much importance to you as a person. I call it “the explanation that you can’t cure.” 

Don't fall into the trap of repeating to yourself or to others these stupid comments. It is the kind of stuff that continues to impact your level of self-esteem for days after your interview or phone call. I will repeat again, they are comments of no importance!

For whatever reason, you were not a fit, in their small minds, for the job in question. Rather than making a helpful comment like "next time wear matching socks," they have chosen to make a comment that makes you feel unqualified. Keep in mind you are a highly qualified professional. The perfect job will come along and keep your chin up! (That way it’s easier to hit!)

Regards, Matt