Maintaining a good reputation at work: Should you be likable, or respected?

Upper-hands of being reputable

You may have come across a few colleagues in your career, who don’t seem to care much about how people perceive them. Though it might give them an (often false) sense of peace, paying attention to what people think does have its own advantages.

Being recognized as the employee at work is more than beneficial to your career, as it:

• Gives self-assurance. Having shaped a good branding among your peers, it will instill confidence within yourself like no other, allowing you to perform tasks better and achieve higher goals.
• Builds robust relationships. People’s energies often mirror yours. When you walk around knowing people acknowledge your skills, you can foster more partnerships with that trust.
• Advances work opportunities. The more people see you as the one to watch, the more your names will get mentioned—especially in important conversations. Your manager will be more likely to offer you a raise or discuss opportunities.
• Provides job security. With teammates, leaders, and partners approving of your work ethics and quality, you’ll feel more secure in your role. You can then focus on upping your standards, while identifying and generating innovative solutions.

With its own plethora of values, having a good reputation at work is the goal for many. Learn more about achieving it in the full article here .

The special respect-building recipe

A good reputation comes from 2 main ingredients: being liked, and being respected. When trying to achieve these 2, some people will forget one or the other.

Being friendly and trusted by your coworkers might be easy when you’re outgoing, but can they respect your boundaries and acknowledge your skills, at the same time?

To really draw that line, while still maintaining good relationships with your peers, leaders, or subordinates, you may try the following strategies:

1. Rephrase your language. Avoid words like “impossible,” “unfortunately,” and “problems” in emails. In conversations or requests, ask for what you do want rather than what you don’t want. Tip: Instead of saying “Don’t miss the deadline” say “I’ll need everyone’s portion of this assignment back by Friday end of day.
2. Encourage people around you. If you’re feeling invisible and that some of your work goes unnoticed, consider if this is happening to others around you. Point out what you admire of others’ work whenever you see it.
3. Really listen. Show respect to gain respect. Give your full attention to people when they talk, by not getting distracted with your device screens. Wait for them to finish before interjecting.
4. Limit the use of “I”. When you feel overlooked, you’ll subtly draw attention to yourself by mentioning your accomplishments. However, using the word “I” less can actually make people see you as more powerful and confident. Fun fact: According to research by psychologist James Pennebaker , in a work relationship, often the person with the higher status uses the word “I” less.
5. Follow through. Having high expectations and ambitious goals for yourself shows those around you that you don’t settle. Having those same expectations for others shows them that you respect them and expect their best.
6. Take Pride. Know your worth and never downplay what you do. Keep learning and growing so you always feel empowered and capable. Set healthy workplace boundaries by keeping the lines between work and personal hours clear.

Once you’ve put all the above ingredients into your work bowl, mix them with a touch of likability and you’ll have yourself a tray of fully-baked respect.

Read more about the ways to encourage respect from others in the full piece here .

Being likable ≠ people-pleasing

If you’re one who struggles with workplace dynamics, where people often see you as ‘mean’ or ‘arrogant’, when in fact you’re just being yourself without the intention of hurting others, you might need to incorporate these likable behaviors:

• Ask questions such as “How can I help?” or “What do you think?”
• Always find a way to include others who seem a bit out of place
• Help out newbies and even new bosses who are still adjusting
• Build your emotional intelligence by being sensitive of other people’s emotions
• Know how to politely shut down negative people
• Give criticism without sounding condescending

You can find other ways you could try to work on your likability level here .

While being on the ‘mean’ side of the scale is counterproductive, so is being on the other end of the scale—too friendly and optimistic. Some people who aim to be likable, often try too hard and end up on the ‘people-pleasing’ side.

To be likable without showing people-pleasing tendencies, be sure to:

1. Avoid dramatizing all the terrible things you’ve had to face. It makes people feel uncomfortable and makes you look self-centered.
2. Don’t exaggerate your enthusiasm. It actually makes you less likable if you force yourself to be overly enthusiastic. It’s better to just speak with a positive tone.
3. Be honest about what you can’t do. Don’t make excuses or a huge backstory about it, as it will make you look incompetent, insecure, and untrustworthy.
4. Allow yourself to step back. Even when you feel pressured to put up an energetic and happy front all the time, you actually don’t have to.
5. Believe in people even when they doubt themselves. Encourage them to pursue what they think they can’t do, and you’ll stand out from other people they know.

Find more tips to incorporate more likable traits without falling into the people-pleasing zone in the full article here .

Which one do you think your coworkers see you as: likable, respected, both, or neither? If it’s the latest, we hope to improve it by sharing this week’s Monday Mavens tips.

Don’t forget to share this Edition to your peers and gain +1000 respectable points!

We’ll see you again next Monday.