A Magnificent Mashup

How is it possible to be smart and ignorant (forgetful?) at the same time? Clearly, it is since I demonstrate it periodically.

I find myself in life with challenging and weighty practical, as well as existential, decisions before me. They have to do with business and finances, health and finances, and what my future might look like. When able, I have the presence of mind to pause, take a step back, take a deep belly breath, soften my eyes, even put a slight smile on my face, and reflect on the choices before me.

My world is changing rapidly and in ways I cannot control and only nominally predict. My psychological flexibility quotient seems to be way up. (Take a look at a lovely article on this, sent to me today by my friend Juan Pablo.) But to move towards what? To help me help myself. For this, I am choosing to bring together two different but related sets of distinctions in a new way – inner game and running experiments. Let me explain.

The inner game is a way of observing and distinguishing one’s own mental game – the mindset, beliefs, attitudes, assumptions, expectations, biases, stories, and practices that reflect our point of view and perspective. In the Anais Nin quote, “We see the world not as it is, but as we are”, she points to the lens through which we view and make sense of our experience. It shapes and runs our outer game, our behaviors in the world. It affects our focus, our sense-making and reactions, persistence, and resilience.

Running experiments is, for me, a recognition that I can seldom if ever, predict how life will unfold. In our volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous (VUCA) world and context, increasingly rapid changes will happen. That is certain. My attachment to plans, a particular point of view, or an opinion that things should be a certain way is totally irrelevant and counterproductive.

Better to distinguish reality from preferences. Better to reframe in an affirmative way, consistent with values and commitments. Better to be oriented and curious about learning what’s happening rather than confirming or arguing for my POV of how it should be. (Who needs confirmation bias, anyway?) Better still if the experiments I run can be small and safe to fail, reducing risk. (See the Snowden and Boone HBR article, “A Leader’s Framework for Decision Making ”, for the role of context, specifically complexity, in warranting such an approach.)

In this world, direction is much more useful than destination. And having the capability of discerning whether I am generally headed in the “right direction” and initiating a course correction as appropriate are valuable tools in my kit and headspace. Making an adjustment doesn’t mean anything is wrong. In fact, it is an affirmation that I am organized well and working flexibly towards desired ends.

These two approaches – one a meta-observational orientation to less subjectively view my experiences within a fixed, rather than growth, mindset; the other an open-ended story about the flow of life and my place and ways to adjust and move in that stream – provide an optimism, agency, and focused attention to the things that matter most to me. I have access to, and appetite for, data to inform me en route and working hypotheses to generate and test. I have an authentic connection to others. I experience a spaciousness to remain present, open, and connected – to self, others, and the larger world, navigating in a mindful manner, preferably with grace and ease. ?

The above, though a nice conceptual description of these approaches, doesn’t make the distinctions clear and concrete. Here is an example.

I mentioned in a recent update about this journey that in order to put myself in the most positive position to heal and recover, I needed to put on weight, an orientation and a set of practices different from how I’ve operated for decades. Boy, are those ruts deep! But they are only ruts (and ones of my making, after all). Time for a new purpose, direction, and practices both thinking and doing to move me forward.

I did the initial heavy lifting, mindset-wise, in the wee hours last Wednesday night. Now was the time to review and revise practices, putting into place new ones that will take care of me as treatment progresses. Smoothie shakes with protein powder, periodic grazing, increased hydration, incrementally more exercise – everything that can leverage a compounding effect. And I am so deeply heartened and grateful for this tribe who holds me up, encourages me, reminds me to be self-compassionate, and grows as I grow (but hopefully not with additional poundage).

This is what my world looks like today. Though I want so much to know how it will turn out, there is no last page to turn to, to read the ending. I can accept that. What is so much more relevant is to be present to how it's turning out in this moment, and the next one. To appreciate life and its gifts and to bring my best self to pay it forward and gift others, healing the world an act at a time. My late friend Barry taught me that.

How does this resonate for you? What does this provoke for you? What new streetlights does this invite curiosity and further exploration? What new game might there be to create, something fully of your making? Where might psychological flexibility serve you? Where could a small shift/change begin a cascade towards transformation? There are so many ways that “better” or “better and better” or even “better and better, together” can show up. What do you see and what might you take on? I’d love to know and deeply invite your comments and our dialog.

#selfleadership #designyourlife #creativity #mindsetshift #runningexperiments