Magic Wand for Leadership? Lead with Empathy and Compassion!

In my conversations with leaders recently, I hear questions about similar issues that all of us are faced with right now:

“What framework can I use to improve retention on my teams?”

“What tools can I use to increase engagement?”

“How can I more easily manage across the generations?”

“My folks are so overwhelmed and burned out, do you have a webinar that can help?”

In these situations, there is no easy answer.?Leadership is art and science, but it skews more toward art. A tool or solution that will work for some team members may not work with others.

If there is anything resembling a magic bullet, it wouldn’t be a tool or framework, it would be an approach—leading with empathy and compassion.

When we discuss empathy and compassion, first we need to explain our terms.?

The first level of connection is sympathy.?Sympathy is feeling for someone; understanding what someone else is going through, but from your own point of view.

“I get how hard this is for you, I have been there.”

But do we really get it??We can never really understand another’s experiences, cannot establish true connection, until we move into empathy.?Empathy is feeling with someone; empathy is the first time we move into another’s point of view and away from our own.?Empathy almost always includes an element of curiosity.

“I can’t imagine how hard this is…how is this impacting you?”

Once we have accessed empathy, we can then jump to the next step which is compassion.?Compassion is from the Latin “compassio,” which means to "share affliction" or to “suffer with” another.?When we can move into compassion, we have the impetus to take away another’s suffering.

“I can’t imagine how hard this is for you, how can I help?”

When we lead from empathy and compassion, we have a starting point to move toward interactions that build deeper connection, engender trust, ensure accountability and ownership, and motivate our team members not only to be their best, but also to reinforce the mission of Carilion Clinic.

With empathy and compassion, the leadership tools, frameworks, and education become a common baseline language from which real leadership begins.

My job as an executive coach is to partner with clients to help them identify their own best solutions; sometimes all it takes is a change in perspective.?Some questions senior leaders and executives can consider in moving toward empathy and compassion are:

• What would I want to have happen for me in this circumstance?
• What don’t I know about this person’s situation?
• What don’t I know about this, and what can I ask?
• What is the most generous thing I can do right now?
• If I could make this better for the person or people in front of me, what would I do right now?

The most important thing a leader can do for their teams right now is to be supportive and help employees reduce anxiety.?Our challenge is real during this great reshuffle—how can we retain and care for the best of our people for the long term??Empathy and Compassion may just be the magic wand.