Magic Mirror Mind: Claim Personal Power, Find Wholeness and Awaken Potential after Abuse and Trauma. (Chapter 2 - Holistic Healing Philosophy)

Book One in the Magic Mirror Mind series.

By Juan de Beer Odendal. 

Disclaimer: The author of this book does not dispense medical or psychological advice or prescribe the use of any substance or technique as a form of treatment for physical, medical, or psychological problems without the advice of a registered medical practitioner, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for general wellbeing. In the event you utilize any of the information provided in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, neither the author, the publisher nor any of their associates assume liability for your actions.

Part 1- Introduction

Chapter 2 – Holistic Healing Philosophy

“What will it take to realize that heaven and hell are only states of mind?”

Although the philosophy of Hay and many New Thought teachers is remarkably simple, it works well in most, but not all situations. This is due to misinterpretation of positive thinking and the wildly popular ‘law of attraction’ teachings that has been the downfall of many. This does not imply that Hay’s or any other New Thought teachings are incorrect.

I have applied Hay’s and many other New Thought thinkers’ teachings to my life for almost two decades. I taught these philosophies to my clients and students, witnessed them heal and improve every aspect of their lives. In addition, I saw that many New Thought and positive-thinking teachings are used by the lazy person to deny their real problems.

Many in the metaphysical community simply made Hay out to be another positive-thinking quack. People were doing the mental work like affirmations, denials, visualizations, and spiritual mind treatment that positive-thinking teachers taught but were not demonstrating results. However, many people were scared to ask the question: “What am I doing wrong?” or “Why am I not demonstrating results?” because doing so led to an “I am not spiritual enough, therefore, not good enough” inferiority complex. This has also happened with me. However, when I did not demonstrate results, I investigated why, and realized that I could not positive-think, visualize, meditate, and pray my problems away. Therefore, I developed a different holistic healing philosophy based on my own experiences, and the experiences of my clients and students. On the next page read my personal healing philosophy.

No matter how big your pain or problems, you can still choose your thoughts.

Positive thinking does not work when used to deny your negative emotions or problems.

We need to forgive, however, those who hurt us have no right to ask for forgiveness.

We inherited from our abusers, family of origin, and friends many restrictive beliefs.

Blame keeps us stuck in a victimhood mentality.

When metaphysical philosophies do not work, it is because of subconscious loyalties, unresolved trauma, or systemic entanglements with our abusers and family of origin.

There is unlimited creative power in our words and the thoughts we habitually think.

Negative thoughts and negative self-speak contribute to our problems.

We all have hidden loyalty to, split loyalties, and systemic entanglements with our family.

We hurt deeply out of love and loyalty to our abusers and family of origin.

Negative emotions are your friends and reveal opportunities for healing.

We can reparent ourselves. It is never too late to have a happy childhood.

 The experiences we recreate reveal our hidden emotional and mental patterns.

Taking time for your empowerment and healing is an act of self-care.

Taking time for self-care is an act self-love and self-approval.

We can learn to be worthy of love and express self-worth.

Anger, criticism, guilt, and resentment are learned behaviors we can unlearn.

We need to let go of that which is making us sick, or negatively impacting on our lives.

We can heal ourselves from any disease, or injury, or change our circumstances.

Holistic healing is inclusive of all healing approaches like modern medicine and psychology.

Our concept of God needs to empower, not disempower us.

No matter how big your pain or problems, you can still choose your thoughts:

We are the only ones who think in our minds. It does not matter how big our pain, or problem, or how bad our health seems, we can choose to think thoughts, cultivate beliefs, and speak words that support us in each aspect of our lives. Instead of thinking, Oh no, why do I have another headache again?, choose to think, What is my body trying to tell me? Or I am sure that supplementing with extra calcium and magnesium will relieve this headache naturally or you can affirm, The right practitioner comes my way now to help me heal my body or, I am comfortable at all times.

 Positive thinking does not work when used to deny our negative emotions or problems:

Many of us go from reading one book, attending one workshop, or consulting with a healer to reading another book, attending another workshop or consulting with another healer in the hope that we can positive-think, heal, or pray our problems away. This simply does not work, and we end up with a bigger problem or our health deteriorates even further. Positive thinking works wonders, but it is only one part of the story. There have been many stories of people reading The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, quitting their jobs, and practicing gratitude, believing that fortune and fame will manifest in that way. These people have been led into financial ruin because of not taking a balanced approach to positive thinking.

Also, suppressing our emotions with positive thinking is very unhealthy and will lead to health problems later.     

We need to forgive, however, those who hurt us have no right to ask for forgiveness:

Forgiving ourselves is often the hardest thing to do after we have forgiven the other person. I had an extra-marital affair and although my spouse forgave me, it took me almost two years to forgive myself. This kept me stuck in the past. In the Biblical book The Gospel of Matthew it is written that we need to forgive those who abused or hurt us in any way seventy (70) x seven (7) times. In the practice of Numerology, this number represents boundlessness and, teaches us to forgive others an infinite amount of times. It is important that we realize this does not only count for the other party but for us, too.

Not forgiving ourselves or others will negatively impact all areas of our lives including our health, finances, relationships, and more. 

Being asked to forgive misplaces the responsibility from the perpetrator onto the victim. This is not fair because the one who abused or hurt us has no right to ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness is a choice we make to set ourselves free, and not the perpetrator.

Sometimes as a symbolic gesture we can bow to those who abused or hurt us in our minds eye. That to which we bow, loses its power over us.

We inherited from our abusers, family, and friends many restrictive beliefs:

Did you often hear, like I did, that you were not good enough and that you will never amount to anything worthwhile in life, only to find yourself not being stable in your career? Did you often hear your parents say, “There is no money” and now you find yourself struggling to make ends meet at the end of every month? As a child or teenager growing up, did you often hear from your family members that you need be ‘On your place’ in the church to deserve Gods’ blessings? Did you ever have any older brothers, sisters or authority figures tease you? Just think for a moment about all the things that were said about you to you, and decide for yourself is it true? You have the power within yourself to let go of all these old, damaging, and restrictive beliefs that cause all of us to self-sabotage in each aspect of our lives. Will you use that power? If so, how?

Blame keeps us stuck in a victimhood mentality:

We give away personal power and keep ourselves stuck in the past and we remain a victim when we try to blame everyone else for our bad childhood, terrible teenage years, depression, failing marriage, loss of a child, and so on. In systemic work the truth is that the victim has the power. Our lives cannot work if we continue to point our fingers at them. Isn’t it time we give it all up just to free ourselves from the bondage of the past?

When metaphysical philosophies do not work, it is due to subconscious loyalties to unresolved trauma, or systemic entanglements with our abusers and family of origin:

A woman manifests the same heart disease as her father, and grandfather who died young, out of love and loyalty to her family of origin. Post-Traumatic Stress Injury prevents us from functioning well in our day-to-day life and changes a persons’ personality. A son has abusive and addictive tendencies due to being entangled with the fate of his male ancestry. His father was an alcoholic and sex addict, and so was his grandfather and great-grandfather.

A boy is molested by his uncle and in turn becomes a sexual offender.

There are many more examples we can give to illustrate this point.  

There is unlimited creative power in our words and the thoughts we habitually think:

In the words of the queen of affirmations, Hay, “I believe that every thought we think and every word we speak is creating our present and future circumstances.”

Negative thoughts or negative self-speak contribute to our problems:

New Thought writers like Florence Scovel Shinn (September 24, 1874 – October 17, 1940) believed that “Your word is your magic wand.” What needs to be clarified is that we now know that is not as simple as doing positive affirmations, visualizing our goals, and meditating our problems away. This is because of hidden loyalty, split loyalty, and systemic entanglements with our abusers, family of origin, and the family we chose to marry into. For example, one cannot affirm “I am a multi-millionaire money magnet” expecting to attract immense wealth whilst having a hidden loyalty or systemic entanglement with a family member who died from starvation in World War II.

We all have hidden loyalty to, split loyalties and systemic entanglements with our family:

A young man manifested Bipolar Disorder Type II depression that is characterized by severe mood swings due to split loyalties between his parents who divorced because of his fathers’ alcoholism. The son lived with his mom and felt that she was the good parent but missed his father deeply and felt guilt over wanting to take up his place in the world of men. He could not decide which parent to be loyal to. His father, in turn, was loyal to his own father, who divorced his mom at a young age due to his own alcohol abuse problem. His father missed his own father dearly and followed him to an early grave. His great-grandfather was also an alcoholic and died young. The subconscious message here is: “I will do it for you, dear Dad.” 

We hurt deeply out of love and loyalty to our abusers and family of origin:

Out of love and loyalty to our loved ones, we become abusers and addicts, manifest disease, struggle with money, get divorced, do not have a good career, have poor relationships with friends, end up homeless on the streets. It may even cost us our life. Instead, we can choose to be courageous and ask our parents to bless us with more success and happiness than they ever had. This will allow us to live our lives forward, fully, and completely in honor of our ancestry who survived so we can flourish.

Negative emotions are your friends and reveal opportunities for healing:

Are you always angry? Do you always feel guilty for no logical reason at all? Do you always feel the need for revenge? Do you criticize yourself or others relentlessly? Are you filled with self-hate? Are you resentful? Are you jealous and insecure in your relationships? These are your patterns; you learned these patterns as a child, teenager, and young adult. These are all your opportunities for healing. What is the lesson or message for you here?

Negative emotions immediately weaken the physical body, making us susceptible to various health problems. Anger may lead to fatty liver disease. Fear manifests as anxiety, making our hearts pound. Guilt seeks punishment and may cause accidents and pain. Resentment may lead to cancer. Psychologists have for a long time understood the link between the mind and its role in preventing, treating, and reversing disease. Letting go of these toxic emotions is so important to resolve almost every problem or disease.

Western medicine may fix us for a short while, but if we didn’t clear out and heal the root emotion that caused the health problems in the first place, chances are that the problem may come back even worse than before because we simply suppressed our symptoms.

We can reparent ourselves. It is never too late to have a happy childhood:

With age regression techniques, Systemic and Family Constellations, inner child healing and Rebirthing Therapy, we can all learn to parent our own inner child to have the unmet emotional needs of our childhood fulfilled and still have a happy childhood as adults.

The experiences we recreate reveal our hidden emotional and mental patterns:

We will recreate the emotional environment of our early childhood in our own career, finances, home, romantic relationships, and so on. For example, did your parents move from town to town, unable settle down with a stable job and income in a decent city? Do you always self-sabotage when your career is going well by being chronically late for work just like father who was a drug addict and could never keep a job or get to work on time? Is your home life just as disorganized as your parents’? Were you the poor kid on the block, only to still struggle with debts and financial burdens even though you have a great income? Are you and your husband or wife fighting over similar things your parents fought about? There are many opportunities for healing once you can look at the patterns you continually repeat, note the thoughts you keep on thinking or the words you speak about life.

Taking time for self-care is an act of self-love and self-approval:

This is where the magic is at. When we start taking care of ourselves and loving and approving of ourselves, life can suddenly become quite magical. We get to have a good relationship with a significant other, and our friendships improve. Our health starts to improve because we are eating healthier foods and look and feel in great shape. You land your dream job or publish your first book. Your finances start improving because you eventually got that degree and your boss offered you a raise.

Let us just be clear and make sure we understand that self-approval and self-love are not about facials, massages, selfies, how many likes you get on social media, or your muscles. It is about never criticizing ourselves or others for anything. Self-approval and self-love are not about arrogance or vanity. How many of our dreams and hopes have we all sacrificed because of feeling ‘not good enough’ and by whose standard, anyway?

We can learn to be worthy of love and express self-worth:

When you feel of worthy of love, you will attract healthy and fulfilling romantic relationships, friends who support you, and your relationships with your family improves. Your relationships with co-workers will also improve. When you become your own best friend, asserting your boundaries will be easier and, you will not tolerate any abuse.

Anger, criticism, guilt, and resentment are learned behaviors we can unlearn:

How did your father express his anger? How did your mother express her anger? How did your older siblings express their anger? Whilst growing up how did the authority figures in your life express their anger? Do you see the pattern? You can choose to do it differently.

We need to let go of that which is making us sick or negatively influencing our lives:

The father of holistic medicine was Hippocrates (460BC – 370BC), the great Greek physician. Hippocrates once said, “Before healing the patient, ask the patient if the patient is willing to give up that which made the patient sick in the first place.”

This not only applies to our lifestyle habits like having good nutrition, not smoking, practicing safe sex, and getting enough rest and relaxation, but also to our emotions, the words we speak, and thoughts we think. 

We can heal ourselves from any disease, or injury, or change our circumstances:

There is a saying that goes, “There are no incurable diseases, only incurable people.” We so often hear stories of people who defied the odds to beat cancer. People who were told they will only live for so long with the AIDS virus who defied the odds. Then there are people who were told they would never walk again. Dr Bernie Siegel writes in his book, ‘Love, Medicine, and Miracles’, about cancer patients who kept on defying the odds. One of my patients was told that she had only a few months left to live with medical treatment.

She refused medical treatment, ignored her prognosis, and lived for two more years. She opted for natural therapies and medicines that improved her quality of life, giving her a lot of comfort, and making her death easier.

Holistic healing is inclusive of all healing approaches such as modern medicine:

Many natural healing practitioners and their patients are opposed to using allopathic medicine or consulting psychologists as part of their treatment program. In the same way, allopathic practitioners and psychologists are opposed to many modalities of natural or spiritual healing types. This is not in the best interest of the patients’ healing.

The comprehensive treatment program needs to include all aspects of healing to be totally holistic in its approach. It is my sincere hope that one day all practitioners of the various healing arts will work together to better serve their client’s needs.

Often the patients’ belief in a practitioner or type of therapy is more important for recovery from a serious illness than the actual therapy itself.

Our concept of God needs to empower, not disempower us:

I grew up believing, just like so many other people, that only my religion was the right one, and everyone else was doomed to Hell because they were on the wrong path. Were you taught that you were born into sin? That all are sinners and do not deserve anything unless by the grace of God? That you need to be in church six days a week to reserve your place in Heaven? We lowly humans are disgusting evil things and God needs to save us all? That a “Divine Being” with a beard was sitting on a cloud taking note of what we did with our sex organs? Have you ever considered that God is God and needs nothing from us if He is God? Do you see all the negative ways of thinking, negative beliefs, and affirmations we all received as children about fire and brimstone? What about guilt and punishment?

At this point, it is important to say that with some simple and very effective techniques, we can all set ourselves free from our negative programming, hidden and split loyalties, and entanglements with our abusers, families of origin, and friends, or other authority figures. We do not have to be victims of our circumstances because we have the power to choose. 

Mental Healing Practice: Spiritual Mind Treatment

Speak the following ‘Treatment’ out aloud at least three times:

Within me is the power to consciously create my own reality, to heal my body and life. It does not matter how big or small my problems are, I can consciously choose beliefs, words, and thoughts, that support me. It does not matter how much physical or emotional pain I am in right now I can choose beliefs, words, and thoughts, that support me in healing rapidly in physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual ways.

I do not deny my feelings or problems, however, I can still choose beliefs, words, and thoughts that support me in finding practical solutions that now come my way.

I forgive myself. I forgive my past. I forgive everyone who abused or hurt me in any way knowing that no-one will ever abuse me more than I can abuse myself. I deserve to be cherished, not abused. I let go of the limiting beliefs, words and thoughts of my abusers, family, and friends. I now set myself free. I know that blaming only keeps us all stuck in the past and makes me a victim of my circumstances. I can choose to be a victim or, I can choose to be free. I choose to be free and release the need to name, blame, and shame.

I now choose to free myself from the past. Entanglements, hidden, and split loyalties to my abusers, family of origin, and friends is revealed to me now. I choose to not deny my traumatic experiences and to grow. Every word I speak and every thought I think is unlimited in its creative power. I choose beliefs, thoughts, and words that support me in becoming free from the past. The past is over and done. I choose beliefs, thoughts, and words that contribute to create comfort, health, and harmony in my life.

I feel my negative emotions then I release them. Negative emotions reveal the opportunities for healing my body-mind-soul and my life. I have hurt deeply out of love and loyalty to my abusers, family of origin, and friends. I now choose to forgive my abusers, family, and friends. I realize that it is never too late to have a happy childhood. I now take responsibility for comforting and reparenting my inner child. I become my inner child’s own best friend.

 I take note of the unwanted experiences I create in my life. These unwanted experiences reveal opportunities to heal my hidden emotional and mental patterns.

I am learning to love myself and express self-worth by practicing self-care. I take time for self-care to heal, and to grow, and to invest in my well-being.

 Self-limiting beliefs, negative emotions, and negative thinking are learned behaviors I now choose to unlearn one step at a time. I am willing to release those beliefs, behaviors, thoughts, and words that make me sick or affect my life in a negative way. I have within me the ability to heal from any injury or disease. I am free to choose or deny any treatment whether it be of a medical, mental healing, natural, or spiritual nature.

 I am free to choose my own empowering beliefs about God, Religion, and the Universe.

And so, it is done.