The Magic Duck

Once upon a time in a land not so far away there was a kingdom ruled by a magic duck that wore red hats and played golf rather than attend his ruler duties. At first, Duck was special in his ability to persuade the kingdom’s people. Thousands flocked to see him sing and dance. He was good at hurling invectives. Duck was mendacious, preening and even prancing. He was able to see the dark side of the people and was exceptionally good at pulling it out. Many people loved the Magic Duck. But he wanted everybody to love him as much as he loved himself. After all, he was extraordinarily rich. He was everywhere. He believed he had many powerful friends. But most never let Duck into their special circle. This hurt Duck and made him very angry. He loudly quacked to all who would listen, and to many who did not. He quacked and quacked that he was great and wonderful. And many believed And chose him to lead them.

It came to pass that a great plague swept the land. Untold thousands died as it spread from place to place. Duck responded with in urgent twitter rages that blamed everyone and everything except his slowness to respond to the plague when it first began. But before the plauge there were mass killings throughout the kingdom. Hundreds of children were murdered in their schools and gunned down as they fled for their lives. Duck quacked and twittered, raged, and blamed. 

People became angry at the hate and division created by Duck’s fucilade of tweets that hurt and inflamed. Many bad things happed. Some police acted poorly. In response, cities were set aflame. Duck quacked, tweeted, raged, and blamed. Unemployment found over 40 million of the kingdom’s workers. But Duck tweeted, raged, and blamed.

When the cacophony came close to the palace Duck put on his red hat hid in his bunker where he tweeted, raged, and blamed. He called province leaders weak because they did not crush those who did not love and respect Duck as much as he loved and respected himself. Duck loved only gold and power and himself. He also loved thuggery rulers in other kingdoms because their people bowed before them.

Duck did not understand how to serve the people because he had been served his whole life. From the time he was a tiny duckling he always got his way. Daddy Duck always paid for Duck’s bad behavior so Duck never knew how to be responsible or work well with others. He did not have to. After all, he was great and wonderful. In all ways and all things Duck quacked that he knew more than anybody about almost everything. But not everyone believed him. Which hurt and angered him. Why couldn’t they see his greatness? He knew it was because they were blind and he had enemies hiding in the shadows waiting to destroy him. Duck decided he would dominate them. Force them.

Duck appointed only advisors who agreed with him. He reached out but he had insulted so many within and beyond the kingdom and that few were willing to support or praise him except for those who profited in their nearness to him. Duck still had a sizeable number of subjects who supported what they thought were his policies. But his policies changed so quickly that subjects had a hard time figuring out what the policy was at any given time, 

Some believed Duck’s tweets, that Duck’s enemies were trying to destroy him. He tweeted and raged and blamed. Many God loving people praised duck as a hero to their cause. They ignored Duck’s history of immoral and hurtful behavior. Duck may be a devil but he was their devil and they loved him but not as much as he loved himself or as much as he wanted or needed them to love him.

But it came to pass that Duck lost his magic. Things got so bad that the kingdom began to argue whether Duck should continue to lead. Civil war started. Duck danced and smiled and tweeted. Evil was afoot. Evil was his friend. Evil loved him as much as he loved himself. After all, they both understood gold and power. All seemed lost to the subjects who were tired and just wanted peace and quiet. Some swore they would never love him. That they would never be his friend and would curse him. Not loudly but deeply.

Then one morning Duck looked in the mirror and froze in terror. Standing behind him was the Angel Death. Duck grabbed his tweet machine and furiously punched its buttons. But the tweet machine would not work. Death raised his mighty arms as Duck quaked that he was great and mighty and Death could not claim him. Duck called out and no one came.

Death said to him, “Fool! No person escapes me. But before I take you we must review your life and how you have led your subjects.”

It was not a pleasant review. Duck wept bitter tears. But it was too late. and the people were finally free.