The "magic" behind connection and how it works

I still (and probably will continue to) marvel at the power connecting to others has. This is one of my purposes in life: CONNECTION, to me, to others, to our dreams so we can create unity, peace and love in our world.

I believe connection to be magic because it gives us unexpected and positive results that we do not know how they came to be.

Something similar to a miracle, only that in this post I intend to "discover" the mechanics of the miracle so that we can all perform miracles everyday.

For this what better than a story of everyday life: "a high-flying theme!"

As every protagonist in a story, I found myself facing an important obstacle: I was traveling to Bariloche, Argentina, to spend a few days with my sister and friends, to constellate, meditate and enjoy the incredible nature of the Patagonia. Suddenly LATAM, the airline I chose, asks me to "change" my flights because they had canceled one of the ones I had booked. At that time, taking advantage of the possibility of change, I extended my stay there, probably my first error, motivated by greed (?). I did it, and I do not know if it was the system, or a human error (mine, of course), but everything was messed up: it said that I was traveling on the internal flight BEFORE the international flight, which would be physically impossible.

I tried to change it online, nothing. I called the help desk, several times, nothing. For two months, I was "raising tickets" for change orders, and they would send me from one operator to another one, that is, when the call was not hung up in the middle of it, and still nothing. I started getting desperate as I did not know if I was traveling or not and I started to put pressure (out of the anger and helplessness). I used social networks, personal contacts at the airline, even reported the event to a local consumer protection organisation. Nothing seemed to work, because the answer was still "we are processing your request". Always in an impersonal way. Even on Facebook I told them to please address me as a woman given my name and photograph, it was the minimum I expected. Maybe I was talking to a robot? I don't know.

Finally, tired and even having abandoned the idea of travelling altogether I decided to go to the airline offices with the idea of asking for help, simply to define whether or not I was travelling and how could I recover the money I had paid. I went with my son Juan Francisco, 3 years old, one day at noon, ready for anything, as, I told myself, everything would be fine.

I had no anger, no sadness, I was a blank sheet of paper, I wanted to be able to "speak in person" with someone, tell him or her my discomfort and ask for help.

I was received by a VERY kind lady: Melissa Ayala. Melissa immediately helped me, first entertaining Juan Fran with a stickers activity so we could talk, very attentive of her. Her smile, her warmth, her poise and patience... she really listened to me. I spoke to her with sincerity and kindness: "I want to ask for your help. I do not know if I can travel or not, and I would like to be able to clarify it because it is important to coordinate the logistics there and my work here. I do not know who to ask for help because I have not been able to do it by phone or online. Can you help me please in some way? I am willing to see other options, I just want to solve it. " Melissa looked at me, listened and said "let's see what I can do". She started typing, calling and consulting other people for a while. I let her work in peace without interruptions. In the end she came and told me that she would be able to assist me by changing my flights. Then she explained that the error could have been from the online robot or a human error (mine) when entering the data, but that it did not matter because she could help me anyway. That way of saying it: first she told me she would help me and did not blame or criticised me for the possible human error, she was so compassionate. When she gave me the paper with the perfect trip, I cried, literally, and I thanked her so much for her help.

It was not only that she did the technical thing and resolved the issue, but HOW she treated me: as a person and went far and beyond to help me.

I am honoured to know that there are people like Melissa. LATAM Peru should congratulate this woman, who really demonstrated not only customer service but love of the customer.

In this story there was connection, deep, sincere, enriching and productive.

How did we achieve it?

First, I want to emphasise how I could NOT achieve it: by talking with computers, threatening, writing thousands of emails and messages, etc. ... that was NOT the way.

The way to connect was to go in person with the objective of BUILDING together a solution and doing it with openness and without grudges or guilt. In the end, I got what I gave: openness, compassion, collaboration.

Sometimes, in our current society, given the technology and speed with which we live we tend to want to solve everything with a “touch” of a finger or keyboard, and it is not possible, and we continue to type and message ... when the answer is to USE OUR BODY, face, heart and deal with openness and love to CREATE A SOLUTION TOGETHER WITH THE OTHER, and not against the other person.

I learned this, and I will keep applying this to my life.

And you? Do you have some unresolved conflict where you feel "stuck".

1. What if you recognised how you feel (anger, frustration, sadness, helplessness) and
2. go with openness to ask for help, in person, taking the time and effort to do so ... and the courage to confront it face to face?
3. Speaking we can understand each other, especially when we speak with openness without trying to convince or persuade or defend ourselves, but exposing and inquiring, checking and curiously exploring options WITH the other.

Do it NOW, do not let time pass, everything that stagnates rots and stinks inside! 

Purify your relationships and conflicts by taking the initiative to resolve them with openness, compassion and love.

The magic of the connection lies in you.

With love and gratitude,

Denise Dziwak

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Denise Dziwak works as a transformational coach, business consultant and speaker.

Her strengths include high levels of intuition,empathy, creativity that enables organisations and teams to achieve exceptional results; discipline, with which nothing seems impossible; she is a visionary woman, helping others create their own vision and making it happen. She works independently and also for highly prestigious organisations such as Vistage, the largest CEOs organisation in the world, Axialent, the consulting firm funded byFred Kofman and pioneer in the use of Conscious Business, and BetterUp, the first mobile platform that provides evidence-based personalised coaching to boost your confidence and performance at work.

Expertise: Business coaching, Spiritual & Life Coaching, Applied Creativity to Problem Solving (Design Thinking), Building Community & Culture