MAFS: When Did We Normalize the Abnormal?

Married at First Sight isn’t just a reality show anymore—it’s a social experiment gone off the rails, a mix of romance, chaos, and just enough emotional carnage to keep us glued to our screens.

I’ll admit it: I’ve watched it. More than once. Even laughed, gasped, and occasionally yelled at the TV. Somehow, my kids always wander in right as someone delivers the worst take on relationships known to humankind.

But at what point did we decide this was… normal?

Reality Check: What Are We Actually Watching?

This show reflects some deeply troubling truths about modern relationships. Consider these gems:

• The guy who thinks “communication” means aggressively listing everything his partner does wrong.
• The woman who dismisses her husband as “too emotional” because he dares to express a feeling beyond hunger.
• The endless arguments that would be concerning in real life but are pure entertainment when wrapped in dramatic music.
• The fact that some contestants leave with more Instagram followers than self-awareness.

Imagine if we treated real-life relationships like MAFS. You show up to a blind date, and instead of a handshake, someone hands you a legally binding contract. Or picture your mate showing up to brunch announcing, “So, my partner and I decided to renew our vows… and by ‘decided,’ I mean a group of producers heavily encouraged us for ratings.”

The Dark Side of the Spectacle

MAFS highlights some of the most troubling aspects of modern relationships that we rarely discuss openly:

• The male participant who verbally criticizes his "wife," displaying controlling behaviour that, in any other context, would raise serious red flags.
• The female participant who dismisses her partner as "too emotional" or "not man enough"—continuing the very toxic masculinity we claim to oppose.
• The glorification of dramatic confrontations while genuine vulnerability and communication are deemed boring or uninteresting.
• The reduction of marriage to a made-for-TV spectacle. Turning what many consider sacred into entertainment fodder.

What does it say about us when millions tune in to watch relationships deliberately structured to create conflict? When the most toxic personalities gain the largest social media followings? When healthy relationship dynamics become the exception rather than the rule?

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Ethics of Casting: Drama Vs Safety

Imagine being in a committed relationship and casually telling your partner, “Hey, I just ranked a bunch of people based on looks, and you came in… fourth.” In what world would that ever be considered a healthy or productive exercise? The so-called “experts” claim it’s about testing emotional resilience, but let’s be real—it's designed to humiliate, breed insecurity, and spark arguments for entertainment. It reinforces the idea that attraction is the most important factor in a relationship while completely disregarding the emotional toll it takes on the participants. In any real-world scenario, this would be an instant red flag—so why do we accept it as just another episode of reality TV?

And then there’s the even bigger issue: casting contestants with violent histories. This season, a participant has documented charges for domestic violence, bodily harm, and resisting arrest. Are we really supposed to believe the producers didn’t uncover this during their vetting process? Or is it more likely that they saw an opportunity to stir up controversy and boost ratings, regardless of the potential harm? Reality TV might thrive on drama, but when that drama involves platforming individuals with dangerous pasts, it stops being entertainment and starts being a reckless social experiment with real-world consequences.

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Junk Food for the Mind

If MAFS is the mental equivalent of eating an entire bag of chips at midnight, the real problem is that we’re doing it every night.

And worse—what are our kids picking up from this?

• That drama = passion?
• That healthy communication is… boring?
• That getting married for clout is a viable career move?

This isn’t just about a reality show. It’s about what we’re feeding our minds—and whether we’re okay with relationships being reduced to viral moments instead of actual connection.

The Way Forward

Perhaps the most disturbing aspect isn’t the show itself but our collective shrug at its implications. When did we stop demanding better? When did we accept that entertainment must come at the cost of meaningful human connection?

As fathers, brothers, partners, and men, we have the power to change this narrative. We can model healthy relationships for our children. We can celebrate emotional intelligence over dramatic conflict. We can refuse to make celebrities out of those who display the worst of human behaviour.

Maybe it starts with asking ourselves difficult questions about what we consume and why. Maybe it begins with honest conversations with our children about the reality behind the "reality" they see on screen.

What kind of relationships do we truly want to normalize? What version of masculinity deserves our celebration?

If these questions resonate with you, consider joining a community of like-minded individuals working to redefine modern masculinity. There are spaces where we can have these conversations openly and honestly. Reach out, speak up, and be part of the change.

Our children are watching. What will we show them?