Lynn said I could write this...

Mental Health Awareness Month...

Since 1979 Lynn and I have been a pair.

Grew up together, married, two fabulous sons, and now of course our first grandson too. We have worked together, travelled the world, lived in the UK, USA, and now France - done so much more than we ever thought possible given our start point...

This year we will celebrate our 36th Wedding Anniversary and 43rd year of being an item - I don't have many memories that don't include Lynn...

But that's not the purpose of this post. This post is intended to simply show that everyone has something going on, a fight or fear they are confronting. Lynn said it was OK to write this, but it wasn't to be about me - which is clearly a challenge as you probably guessed...

On with the story...

Around 5 years ago Lynn found a lump, nothing very special, just a small lump the size of a pea, so off we went to the doctors for a check-up, and then all hell broke loose...

We wondered if we should just ignore it, hope for the best, maybe it would go away, maybe it was just something and nothing...

Turns out it was cancer, a deep-seated nasty one nestling in her lymph system - Lynn was advised that it was what they call Stage 4 and there was about a 15% chance of survival...

If anyone has been given this news then only you know how it smacks you in the face like a shovel, the ripples go out into everything you do, it affects you, your family your work, and everyday life...

Friends you confide in quietly drop away, the phone stops ringing and the invites dry up. I dread the question from those few that know - "How's Lynn...?"...

Even family can be distant and only offer support when prodded...

When people do get in touch, I know the intention is good, but don't ask me, call her, don't ask me because you really can't cope with the real answer, so I just say...

She's fine..

Which of course is not true, she's not fine, she's in the fight of her life - a fight I can't have for her, only watch from the sidelines as I fumble around figuring out how the dishwasher works...

During the intervening years, she has been through operations, infusions, injections and just about every pill and potion has been administered to her by the doctors in Luxembourg...

On a couple of occasions, we thought we'd lost her, as she passed out in the car, or had to be rushed by ambulance to a foreign A&E, spent days in isolation or have yet another shot of isotopes...

Note - Lynn does now glow in the dark ??

The bathroom looks like a pharmacy, Lynn can't go out in the sun, so it's a bit like living with a vampire too...

Lynn has and continues to be my inspiration, her attitude, resilience, and ability to remain bright and positive through these times. She is a beacon to me, the boys, and our new grandson - the fact she is coping and staying positive enables us all to do the same...

So where are we now...?

The treatments to date have not really worked, they've checked the spread but the side effects of the treatment have at times been worse than the condition itself.

Lynn's system can only take so much of this and her quality of life is affected due to the drugs and treatments meaning it is not an ongoing solution.

Today, Lynn is sitting in Switzerland at the University Hospital in Basel. We have been extremely fortunate to have been offered an experimental treatment called T Cell therapy which we are hopeful will provide a better solution and enable Lynn to beat this horrible disease once and for all...

Tomorrow she goes for an operation and without all the gory details it is the start of a two-year program that will involve chemotherapy, infusion therapy, and having to rebuild her immune system from scratch...

Why post this now..?

Because Lynn has a story, and she has asked me to write it...

If this helps or inspires just one person to know they are not alone, that all things are possible, that you can deal with more than you think, then it will have been worth it...

Mental Health is a term I despise - we all have things going on we have to deal with, cope with and work around - it's not an illness, it's called life...

Of course, for those that need intervention and help - make sure you get it, but for lots of people, it's just the ups and downs of life we have to deal with...

It has been and continues to be a privilege to be a part of Lynn's life for so many years, she is my wife, my best friend a fabulous Mom, and Grandma too - the mere thought of our time not continuing is something I have blanked out behind an intense firewall of work, travel, renovation and driving to Ukraine...

The firewall sometimes gets dented, for Lynn too, and in those fleeting moments, we both know it's OK to crash and burn, to collapse in a heap and cry our eyes out...

Yesterday I had a mini-meltdown in front of one of my friends/clients - the firewall gets a bit thin from time to time...

But there is hope, the fight is still on and the very best people in the world are standing next to Lynn and fighting with her, so we dust ourselves down and get back to life...

She will win this thing, I still can't figure out the dishwasher or the oven...

So what..?

In this month of Mental Health Awareness be aware that people may be struggling behind the scenes...

Be kind, cut them some slack...

Don't just send prayers and hugs or kind thoughts - go round and have coffee, pick up the 'phone, invite for lunch...

For Lynn - drop her a message it would mean the world to know she is supported...

LinkedIn - PROFILE HERE

Facebook - PROFILE HERE

For me - you see it is about me after all - if I don't get back to you within 20 mins, or I'm a bit short with you or withdraw from an event. It's a coping mechanism to keep the firewall in place so I can keep the business going, be there for the boys, and not jump off the bridge...

Has all this had an effect on Lynn, me our relationship, our boys...?

Yes, of course, it is a fight we didn't choose, but it's one we will win - the fear and sadness are replaced with gratitude and optimism. There are good days and sad days, but hope springs eternal...

Everyone is fighting something - just be kind...

With love to Lynn...