The Lunacy of Mark Carney and the Irrelevance of Polls in a World Where Trump Doesn’t Give a F*ck

By Dean Palmiere Updated: February 7, 2025 at 9:21 AM EST Published: February 7, 2025 at 6:00 AM EST

Let’s get one thing straight: trying to predict who’s best suited to negotiate with Donald Trump is like trying to teach a cat to fetch; pointless, frustrating, and ultimately a waste of f*cking time. Yet, here we are, dissecting a Nanos poll that claims Liberal leadership candidate Mark Carney is the top choice for Canadians to handle Trump’s chaos. Spoiler alert: this poll is about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

The Poll Results: Carney Wins the Popularity Contest (Whoop-De-Doo)

According to Nanos Research, 40% of Canadians think Mark Carney—yes, the guy who talks about monetary policy like it’s a Shakespearean tragedy—would do the best job negotiating with Trump. Pierre Poilievre, the Conservative leader who’s basically the human embodiment of a Twitter rant, came in second at 26%. Chrystia Freeland, who’s already been verbally body-slammed by Trump, managed 13%, while Karina Gould barely registered at 1%.

Let’s pause for a second. Does anyone actually believe Trump gives a sh*t about Carney’s economic credentials? The same Trump who once said, “I know more about ISIS than the generals do”? The man who thinks tariffs are a fun little game of Monopoly? Please.

The Lunacy of Mark Carney’s Supposed Appeal

Carney’s supporters are quick to point out his resume: former Bank of Canada governor, former Bank of England governor, and all-around policy wonk. Cool story, bro. But here’s the thing: Trump doesn’t give a flying f*ck about resumes. He cares about loyalty, flattery, and who can stroke his ego the hardest. Carney’s calm, measured demeanor might as well be a death sentence in Trump’s world.

Meanwhile, Poilievre’s populist schtick might actually resonate with Trump, if he could stop yelling long enough to form a coherent sentence. Freeland? She’s already been Trump’s punching bag, so good luck with that. And Gould? Who the hell is Gould? Exactly.

The Poll’s Irrelevance in a Trumpian Hellscape

Here’s the cold, hard truth: polls like this are about as relevant as a Blockbuster membership card. Trump doesn’t operate on logic, policy, or reason. He operates on impulse, ego, and whatever Fox News told him that morning. Trying to predict how he’ll react to any given leader is like trying to predict the weather on Mars.

The Nanos poll assumes Trump gives a sh*t about traditional diplomacy. He doesn’t. He’s the guy who once canceled a meeting with the Prime Minister of Denmark because she wouldn’t sell him Greenland. GREENLAND. So, yeah, good luck figuring out who’s best suited to negotiate with that.

Canadians’ Shifting Stance on Tariffs: Finally, Some Balls

One thing the poll got right? Canadians are done playing nice. When asked how Canada should respond to Trump’s tariffs, 58% said, “F*ck it, hit ‘em back.” That’s up from 29% in December 2024. Canadians are ready to pull U.S. wine and beer off the shelves (78% support), impose dollar-for-dollar tariffs (68% support), and even cut off oil and gas exports (51% support).

About f*cking time. Trump’s been treating Canada like a pi?ata for years, and Canadians are finally saying, “Enough.” But let’s not kid ourselves—retaliation only works if you’re willing to go all-in. Half-measures are just more ammo for Trump’s Twitter feed.

Defence Spending: Because Trump Said So

Trump’s been whining about NATO defence spending for years, and now he wants members to cough up 5% of GDP. Canada’s currently at 1.37%, and 64% of Canadians think we should hit the 2% target. Another 12% are ready to go full throttle to 5%.

Here’s the kicker: this isn’t about national security. It’s about Trump’s obsession with “winning.” If Canada wants to avoid his wrath, we’ll have to play his game—but let’s not pretend it’s anything more than a shakedown.

The Bottom Line: Stop Pretending Polls Mean Sh*t

The Nanos poll is a fascinating snapshot of Canadian sentiment, but it’s about as useful as a chocolate teapot in the real world. Trump doesn’t care about polls, policy, or propriety. He cares about power, and anyone who thinks they can outmaneuver him with logic or expertise is delusional.

So, who should Canadians want at the negotiating table? Someone who’s willing to play Trump’s game without losing their soul. Whether that’s Carney, Poilievre, or Freeland is anyone’s guess. But one thing’s for sure: in a world where Trump doesn’t give a f*ck, the only thing that matters is who’s willing to fight dirty.

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Dean Palmiere is the founder of Dean Palmiere Consulting, your no-bullsh*t megaphone for LinkedIn, Leadership, and Culture content. Visit www.deanpalmiere.com to learn more.