Luminous darkness: a lesson about resilience in 2023

Recently I was struck by a friend’s question: “Have you been taught how to die?” and my answer was “No”. The winter solstice on the 22nd of December and the shortest and darkest days of the year remind us that death is an integral part of nature. That there are certain parts of us that we need to shed as the journey called life continues.

We talk very little about death. This statement is not to undermine the pain and grief that we experience when we have a close encounter with death, departure, and separation. Just a few days ago a tragedy struck at Charles University in Prague, my first Erasmus exchange home. As I was watching the images from the scene I remembered walking down those stairs myself. The thought “This could’ve been me” emerged. On top of that, there are (at least) two armed conflicts going on in the world right now – Ukraine/Russia and Israel/Palestine.

My prayers go to all living beings who are affected by war and conflict. ?? I also want to join the message of the art of #banksy - #stopwar.

Chaos precedes creation.

But going back to Nature and her wisdom. Winter Solstice is teaching us that sometimes things have to get really messy and chaotic before we see breakthroughs and new creations. Or at least we certainly hope for that.

Hence I want to dedicate this edition to death and letting go. Here you can find a few more suggestions on the meaning of winter solstice and some rituals. I will share with you 2 of my favourite books that helped me the most to learn the art of letting go and letting through, as well as 2 resources on #reflection - as it is the most fitting tool for the end of the year.

Books

“Grief expressed out loud, whether in or out of character, unchoreographed and honest, for someone we have lost, or a country or home we have lost, is in itself the greatest praise we could ever give them. Grief is praise, because it is the natural way love honors what it misses.”― Martin Prechtel, The Smell of Rain on Dust: Grief and Praise

This incredible book is written by Martin Prechtel who was born in New Mexico, but moved to live with the Tz'utujil community near Lake Atitlán. There he learned the Mayan language and studied with a shaman named Nicolas Chiviliu Tacaxoy. The book has a lot of indigenous wisdom integrated into it. If you want to check out his teachings on Grief and Praise you can hear an audio recording from the author here.

“The crisis of our time isn’t just a crisis of a single leader, organization, country, or conflict. The crisis of our time reveals the dying of an old social structure and way of thinking [..]”― C. Otto Scharmer, Theory U: Learning from the Future as It Emerges

I've shared resources from the Presencing Institute before and I would recommend all of Otto Scharmer's books. Thanks to Theory U I now have a new "language" to speak about death and emergence. Which system is dying and which one is emerging in yourself, in our society? Can you notice them?

"Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones." — Thich Nhat Hanh (Fear: Essential Wisdom for Getting Through the Storm)

I've read this book in one breath. I found it to be very helpful in terms of building resilience through hardship. It reminded me of the story of the carrot, the egg and the coffee. The carrot started out hard and strong, but came out weak and mushy. The egg started with a soft inside and a tough shell, but it came out hard on the inside. The coffee beans were special: They changed the water. It used the hardship to elevate itself and accomplish greatness. Are you the carrot, the egg or the coffee in your life when you are faced with adversity? Do you harden on the inside, soften on the outside, or do you transform?

Resources to reflect

To explore which role you take and how obstacles affect you - I highly recommend yearly reflection. Not only to note down what went good and what went bad, but to actively plan for the best outcome in the next year. For me, December (being the darkest month of the year) is the perfect time for self-reflection. I already did one, but in the coming days, I will keep on reflecting. Reflection is an iterative process for me, not a 1 time thing.

1. My longest-used ritual is the Yearly compass, it is for free and you can find the booklet here. Also: it has been translated into multiple languages.
2. This year for the first year I tried Guided Journaling, 16 questions, developed as part of the Presencing Institute Theory U package.
3. The Wheel of Life is quite a famous technique but noomii.com has developed a nice interactive online version which can be found here.

You can also choose to do your reflection in your way, but whatever you choose - make use of the special energy of the end of the year and the Winter Solstice. If you are celebrating Christmas this year - Happy Holidays!

I know the holidays can sometimes be overwhelming in combination with the darkness in the Northern Hemisphere but the days are starting to grow, and before we know it - it will be spring once again for us!

Last but not least ...

For this newsletter, I chose to highlight the Pantone colour of the year 2024. According to the company PANTONE 13-1023 Peach Fuzz captures our desire to nurture ourselves and others. This is also my intention for 2024 - to nurture myself and the seedlings of my dreams. I wish you wherever you are in the world may you be surrounded by lots of light and love. ???