The loyal one stays single after break up

The one who is hopeful of reunion, stays loyal. The one who cares, stays loyal. The one who is more sensitive, stays loyal. The one who is in more pain, stays loyal. The one who does not like replacing, stays loyal. The one who believed in the relationship, stays loyal. The one whose hopes are shattered, stays loyal. The one who truly desires and desired, stays loyal. The one who loved or loves, stays loyal. The other runs away…

Who is luckier ? The one who has a heart of gold or the one who is a gold digger ? I am always the loyal one, I say that with conviction because it's who I am, part of my character. When you're the loyal one, the other likes to attack your character to try and level the ground so they can feel better about themselves. First, don't ever give up ground. It's not unbecoming to stand tall , cheating is a choice, we all been presented with it at one time or another, cheaters sold their value after the first time, it's not really something you can come back from, when that lines crossed, they aren't confronted with a whole lot of reasons not to, I figure?

Giving this ground work, think of cheaters like monkeys swinging from trees one hand doesn't let go of a vine, until the other hand has one in its grasp. So they are forever in motion, if you will. It's kinda sad when you think about it, it was earned there is blood on their hands. Have you heard of "Adult Attachment Theory"? People have one of the following coping mechanism or adult relationship attachment styles:

Secure one knows that s/he deserves a happy relationship. Healthy self-esteem. A little over half the population is classed as having a secure relationship attachment style. Secures have healthy self esteem and positive esteem of partner. The anxious-Preoccupied (Insecure, “needy”, “clingy”, addicted to relationships, victim mentality in relationships, suffers a great deal if broken up with, manipulative for fear of getting rejected). Low self-esteem but high esteem of partner.

Avoidant-Dismissive (Insecure, needs lots of space, independent in relationships, flips a switch and loses interest when the relationship turns serious, gets over partners and moves on quickly). Thinks positively of self but negatively of partner. Avoidant-Fearful aka Anxious-Avoidant (Insecure, thinks negatively of self and others). This is a small subset of the avoidant attachment style, usually brought on by trauma.

People who have an anxious attachment style have a deep seated fear of abandonment. They also attract Avoidants like flies to honey. They tend to describe themselves with phrases like “the loyal one”, “nice guy”, “nice woman” even when engaging in manipulative behaviors to get the other party back into the relationship .. They paint the avoidant as the devil when s/he leaves them.. The avoidant is not necessarily malicious but they have detached through a usually subconscious defense mechanism. This means they can jump into another relationship (likely with another anxious person) to repeat the same pattern again. They flip a switch and lose interest while the anxious person is in a great deal of pain trying to make sense of what just happened when the relationship was going so well..

Attachment theory may or may not be the answer to your question based on the limited info given.. (everyone can get cheated on regardless of attachment style..) However, there is usually more to the story than one person being loyal and another one being an asshole.. Most of us are pattern repeating robots when it comes to relationships which is down to our brain wiring based on early life experience.

This is a very good excuse that you can give yourself for not moving on and thinking that you were loyal enough to let go. Accept It - He/She has moved on and has found someone else. Move On- There is no point trying to stay single. Just find someone and create new memories. That’s one way to replace old ones.Forget them- Doesn’t matter how loyal you were. It has ended and you need to forget it. Come out of your past. As simple as that. Cheers!