Lower Your Expectations, Not Your Standards: Finding Balance in Pursuing Excellence

In today's fast-paced world, we are constantly bombarded with messages of success and achievement. We are told to aim high, set big goals, and strive for greatness in all areas of our lives. While there is certainly value in pursuing excellence, the pressure to constantly outdo ourselves can lead to stress, burnout, and a sense of never feeling quite good enough. In this article, we will explore the idea of lowering our expectations while still maintaining high standards, in order to find a healthier balance and greater satisfaction in our pursuits.

The Problem with High Expectations

When we set high expectations for ourselves, we are essentially creating a standard that we must meet in order to feel successful or satisfied. While this can be motivating and help us strive for excellence, it can also be incredibly stressful and demoralizing if we constantly fall short of our goals. For example, if you set a goal of achieving a certain grade point average in school and you fall just short of that mark, you may feel like a failure even though you still did very well. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and a sense of never being good enough.

Another issue with setting high expectations is that it can lead to a narrow focus on specific outcomes, rather than the process of learning and growth. If you are so focused on achieving a certain outcome, you may miss out on the opportunity to learn from your mistakes and make improvements along the way. Additionally, if you only feel successful when you achieve a specific outcome, you may miss out on the satisfaction of simply doing your best and making progress, even if you don't reach your ultimate goal.

The Benefits of High Standards

While high expectations can be problematic, having high standards can be incredibly beneficial. Standards are essentially a set of values or principles that guide our behavior and decision-making. When we have high standards, we are more likely to make choices that align with our values and bring us closer to our goals. For example, if you have a high standard of honesty, you are more likely to tell the truth even when it's difficult or inconvenient.

High standards can also help us feel a sense of pride and accomplishment when we live up to them. When we make choices that align with our values and help us achieve our goals, we feel a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment that can be incredibly motivating. Additionally, having high standards can help us navigate difficult situations and make tough decisions. When we have a clear set of principles to guide us, we are less likely to be swayed by outside pressure or temptation.

Finding Balance

The key is to focus on doing our best and making progress towards our goals and not to be attached to the outcomes. This allows us to feel a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction even if we don't achieve our ultimate goal.

Another way to find balance is to adjust our expectations based on the situation. For example, if you are dealing with a particularly challenging task, it may be unrealistic to expect yourself to excel right away. In this case, it may be more realistic to set smaller goals and focus on making incremental progress. On the other hand, if you are working on something that comes easily to you, you may be able to raise the bar and push yourself to achieve more.

It's also important to recognize that our standards may need to be adjusted based on our individual circumstances. For example, if you are dealing with a health issue or a major life change, it may not be realistic to expect yourself to perform at the same level as you would under normal circumstances.

In conclusion

Finding balance between high standards and realistic expectations is key to achieving satisfaction and fulfillment in our pursuits. While high standards can guide our behavior and help us achieve our goals, setting unrealistic expectations can lead to stress, burnout, and a sense of never feeling good enough. By focusing on the process and making incremental progress, we can feel a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, even if we don't achieve our ultimate goal. It's also important to recognize that our standards may need to be adjusted based on our individual circumstances, and to be kind to ourselves when we fall short of our expectations.