Loving Your Authentic Self
I have lived my life for 30+ years calling myself "easy-going," while in reality I'm anything but that. My family knew it. My friends knew it. Even my therapist found it funny that I somehow told myself I was easy-going. I thought I knew myself pretty well but it turns out...The self-delusion ran deep. When I retook my Myers Briggs personality test, I went from being an ENFP to an ENFJ. This time around, I answered honestly reflecting on who I actually am rather than who I wanted to be. At the core of the matter was the understanding that the world likes easy-going people. Society rewards flexibility and scorns rigidity. But the more I pondered this newfound revelation of who I was, I learned to appreciate the quirks that distinguish me.
Loving your authentic self is an important aspect of self-discovery. When I work with my coaching clients, I start first with who they truly are--their authentic selves. Not the version that they want to be, or even who society has pressured them to be. Many of us have been taught to hide our true selves or edit out parts of ourselves to give off the impression of perfection. All of that is an exhausting task. While it can be a challenge to examine what you've always known yourself to be, the rewards are immense: understanding your values, acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses, and living a life that aligns with your core beliefs. Let's explore some pivotal strategies for discovering your authentic self and loving the real you.
How Do You Grow To Love Your Authentic Self?
See yourself from all angles:
This involves a thorough self-assessment. Don't just consider the aspects you readily present to the world. Delve deeper. Think about your behavior in different situations – how you react under pressure, how you interact with loved ones versus strangers, and how you feel when you're alone. Journaling can be a powerful tool here. Reflect on your past experiences, both positive and negative, and analyze how they shaped you. Consider seeking feedback from trusted friends or family members, asking them how they perceive you. Be open to their perspectives, even if they differ from your own. The goal is to have a more complete and honest picture of yourself.
Examine how you feel in different settings:
Our environments significantly impact our behavior and emotions. Pay close attention to how you feel in various situations. Do you feel energized and inspired at work, or drained and unfulfilled? Are you relaxed and comfortable around your friends, or do you feel the need to put on a facade? Observe your emotional responses in different social settings, when you're alone, and when you're engaging in activities you enjoy (or don't enjoy). This awareness will help you identify environments that nurture your authentic self and those that force you to suppress it. Understanding these dynamics empowers you to make conscious choices about where you spend your time and with whom.
While personality tests shouldn't be the sole determinant of your self-perception, they can offer valuable insights into your tendencies, preferences, and potential blind spots. Tests like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), the Enneagram, the Harrison Assessments, or the Big Five personality traits can provide a framework for understanding your strengths, weaknesses, and how you interact with the world. Remember that these tests are tools for self-discovery, not labels. They do not define you, but you can use the results as a starting point for further exploration and reflection. Don't be afraid to challenge the results or explore different interpretations. The goal is to use these tools to gain a deeper understanding of yourself, not to confine yourself to a specific category.
领英推荐
In my coaching practice, I use the Harrison Assessments to help my clients uncover their Zone of Genius. Schedule your session here. (Click here to access my coaching calendar)
Once you've identified your strengths, focus on leveraging them in your personal and professional life. How can you use your natural talents and abilities to achieve your goals and make a positive impact? Perhaps you're a natural communicator, a creative problem-solver, or a highly organized individual. Find ways to incorporate these strengths into your daily routine. Seek out opportunities that allow you to shine and utilize your unique skills. This not only leads to greater success but also fosters a sense of purpose and fulfillment. When you're operating from a place of strength, you're more likely to feel confident and authentic.
Embracing your authentic self is an ongoing journey of self-discovery. It requires courage, vulnerability, and a willingness to be honest with yourself. By following these tips and engaging in continuous self-reflection, you can move closer to living a life that is true to who you are.
Related Video
Leave me a comment below. What's your personality type? Do you find it easy to love aspects of yourself or do you have trouble embracing it?